proceed Salinus to procure my fall,
And by yethe Doome of Death end woes and all.

merchant of syracusa plead no more
I am not partiall to infringe our lawes;
yethe enmity and discord wchwhich of late
sprung from the ranscourous outrage of yryour Duke
to merchants our well dealing country mencountrymen,
who wanting Guilders to redeem their life
have seald his rigorous statutes wthwith their blood
excludes all pitty from our threatning lookes
for since yethe mortall and intestine Jarrs
Twixt thy seditious countrimen and us
it hath in solemn synods been decreed
both by yethe syracusiands and our selves
to admit no traffick to our adverse towns:
nay more if any born at Ephesus
be seen at any syracusan marts or fairs:
again if any syracusian born
come to yethe bay of Ephesus he dyes:
his goods confiscate to yethe Dukes dispose
unles a thousand marks be levied
to quit yethe penalty and ransome him
Thy substance valued at yethe highest rate
cannot amount undto a 100 mark
Therfor by law thou ardt condemnd to dye

yet this my comfort when yryour words are done
my woes end likewise wthwith yethe evening sun

well Syracusian say in brief yethe cause
why thou departedst from thy native home?
and for wtwhat cause thou camest to Ephesus?

a heavier task could not have been impos’d
Then I to speak my griefs unspeakable
yet ytthat yethe world may witness ytthat my end

was wrought by natur not by vile offence,
I’ll utter wtwhat my sorrow gives me leave.
In Syracusa was I born and wedd
unto a woman happy but for me;
And by me too had not our hap been bad:
with her I livd injoyin joy, our wealth increast,
by prosperous voyages I often made
to Epidamium, till my factors Death:
and he great store of goods at random leaving
Drew me from th’ kind embracements of my spouse;
from whom my absence was not 6 months old
before her self (almost at fainting under
The pleasant punishment ytthat women bear)
had madesmade provision for her following me
and soon and safe arrived where I was:
there had she not been long but she became
a joyfull mother of 2 goodly sonns
and which strange yethe one so like yethe other
as could not be distinguishd but by names.
That very hour and in yethe self same inn
a poor mean woman was delivered
of such a burden male twinns both alike:
Those for their parents were exceeding poor
I bought and brought up to attend my sonns.
my wife not meanly proud of 2 such boys
made dayly motions for our home returne
unwilling I agreed, alas too soon we came aboard.
A League from Epidamium had we sayld
befor yethe alwaies wind obeying deep
gave any tragick instance of our harmes:
But longer did not we retain much hope
for obscurd light yethe heavens did grant,
did but convay unto our fearfull minds
a doubtfull warrant of immediate death;
which tho my selfe would gladly haue embrac’d
yet yethe incessant weeping of my wife
weeping before for wtwhat she saw must come,
and piteous plainings of yethe pretty babes,
That mourdnd for fashion ignorant wtwhat to fear,
forst me to seek delayes for them and me.

and this it was: (for other means was none)
yethe saylors sought for safety by our boate
and left yethe ship then sincking ripe to us.
my wife more carefull for yethe latter pborn
had fastend him unto a small spare mast
such as seafaring men provide for stormes
To him one of yethe other twins were bound
whilst I had been like heedfull of yethe other
The children thus disposd my wife and I
fixing our eyes on whom our care was fixt
fastend our selves at either end yethe mast
and floating straight obedient to yethe stream
was carried towards corinth as we thought.
at length yethe sun gazing upon yethe earth
disperst those vapours that offended us
and by yethe benefit of his wishd light
yethe seas wax’d calm and we discovered
2 ships from farr making amain to us:
of Corinth ytthat of Epidaurus this;
But ere they came, o! let me say no more
Gather yethe sequel by wtwhat went before

nay forward old man, doe not leave of so
For we may pitty tho not pardon thee

O had yethe Gods done so I had not now
worthyly termd them merciless to us;
for yethe ships could meet by twice 5 leagues
we were encountred by a mighty rock
which being violently born upon
our helpless ship was splitted in yethe midst
so ytthat in this unjust divorce of us
fortune had left to both of us a likealike
what to delight in, wtwhat to sorrow for
her part poor soule as seeming burdened
with lesser weight tho not with lesser woe
was carried with more speed against yethe wind

and in our sight they 3 were taken up
by fishermen of Corinth as we thought
att length another Ship had seizd on us
and knowing whom it was their hap to save
gave helpfull wellcome to their shipwrakd guests.
and would have reft the fishers of their prey
had not their bark been very slow of sayl;
and therfor homeward did they bend their course.
thus have you heard me severd from my Bliss
that by misfortune was my life prolong’d
to tell sad storyes of my own mishaps.

and for yethe sakes of those thou sorrowest for
doe me the favour to relate at full
wtwhat hath become of them and thee till now.

my youngest boy but yet my eldest care
At 18 years became inquisitive
after his brother; and importuned me
That his attendant (for his case was like)
reft of his Brother, but retaind his name)
might bear him company in yethe quest of him:
whom whilst I labourd of a love to see
I hazarded yethe Loss of whom I lovd.
5 sommers have I spent in farthest Grece
Roaming clean throug yethe bounds of Asia
and coasting homeward came to Ephesus
Hopeless to find yet loath to leave unsought
or that or any place ytthat harbours men:
But here must end yethe story of my life
and happy were I in my timely death
could all my travells warrant me they live

hapless Egæon whom yethe fates have markd
to beare yethe extremity of dire mishap:
now trust me were it not agains our Lawes
against my crown my oath my dignity
which princes would, they cannot disannull
my soul should sue as advocate to thee:
But tho thou art adjudged to yethe Death
and passed sentence may not be recald
But to our honours great disparagement:

yet I will favour thee in wtwhat I can
Therfor merchant I’ll limitt thee this day
to seek thy life by beneficiall help,
thry all thy friends thou hast in Ephesus
Beg thou or borrow to make up the sum
and live: if no, then thou art doom’d to dye
Jaylor take him to thy custody

I will my LdLord

hopeless and helpeless doth Ægæon wend
But to procrastinate his liveless end. (Exeunt Enter Antipholis Erotes, a Merchant, and Dromio.

Therfor give out you are of Epidamium
least ytthat yryour goods too soon be confiscate:
This very day a Syracusian Merchant
is apprehendendapprehended for arrivall here
and not being able to redeem his life
according to yethe statute of yethe towne
Dies ere yethe weary sun set in yethe west:
This is yryour mony ytthat I had to keep. gives him mony}

goe bear it to the Centaur where we lodge
and stay there Dromio till I come to thee;
Till then I’ll view yethe manners of yethe town
within this hour it will be dinner time:
peruse yethe traders, gaze upon yethe buildings
and then return and sleep wthinwithin my inn
for with long travail I am stiff and weary.
Get thee a wayaway.

many a man would take you att yryour word
and goe indeed having so good a means Exit Dro:

A trusty villain Sir, ytthat very oft
when I am dull with care and melancholly
lightens my humour wthwith his merry Jests:
wtwhat will you walkwthwithwalk with me about yethe towne
and then goe to yethe inn and dine with me

I am invited Sir to certain Merchants

of whom I hope to make much benefit:
I crave yryour pardon soon at five a clock
please you I’ll meet with you upon yethe mart
and afterward consort you till bed time:
my present business calls me from you now.

farwell till then I will go loose my life
and wander upoandup and down to view yethe citty

Sir I commend you to yryour own content. (Exit

He ytthat commends me to my own content,
commends me to yethe thing I cannot Gett:
I to yethe world am like a drop of water
ytthat in yethe Ocean seeks another drop
who falling there to find his fellow forth
(unseen, inquisitive) confounds himself,
so I to seek a Mother and a Brother
in quest of them (unhappy) loose my selfe. Enter Dromio Eph:
Here comes yethe almanack of my true date:
wtwhat now? chow chance thou art returnd so soon

returnd so soon rather approachd so late:
The capon burns yethe pig falls from yethe spit
The clock hath strucken twelve upon yethe Bell
my mistris made it one upon my cheek:
she is so hot because yethe meat is cold
The meat is cold because you come not home
you come not home because you have no stomack:
you have no stomak having broke yryour fast:
But we ytthat know wtwhat ’tis to fast and pray
are penitent for yryour default to daytoday.

stop in your wind sir tell me this I pray
where have you left yethe mony ytthat I gave you?

oh sixpence ytthat I had a wednesday last
to pay yethe sadler for my mistriss’ crupper.
The Sadler had it Sir I kept it not.

I am not in a sportive humour now:
tell me and dally not where is yethe mony?
we being strangers here how darst thou trust
so great a charge from thine own custody?

I pray you jest sir as you sit at dinner:
I from my mistriss come to you:
If I return I shall be post indeed.
for she will scour yryour fault upon my pate:
methincks yryour maw like mine should be yryour cook
and strike you home wthoutwithout a messenger

come Dromio come these jests are out of season
reserve them till a merrier hour then this:
where is yethe Gold I gave inchargein charge to thee?

to me sir? why you gave no gold to me?

Come on Sir knave have done yryour foolishness
and tell me how thou hast dispos’d thy charge.

my charge was but to fetch you from yethe mart
home to yryour house yethe Phœnix Sir to dinner
my Mistriss and her sister stays for you

now as I am a christian answer me
in wtwhat safe place you have bestow’d yryour mony.
or I will break ytthat merry sconce of yours
ytthat stands on tricks when I am indispos‘d:
where is yethe 1000 marks you had of me?

I have some marks of yours upon my pate
some of my mistriss marks upon my shoulders
But a 1000 marks between you both.
If I should pay yryour worship those again
perchance you will not bear em patiently.

thy MrsMistress marks, wtwhat mrsMistress slave hast thou?

yryour worships wife my MrsMistress at yethe Phœnix
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner
and prays ytthat you will hie you home to dinner

wtwhat wilt thou flout me thus unto my face?
art not forbid? There take you ytthat sir knave. ( beats him

wtwhat mean SrSir, for Gods sake hold your hands
nay and you will not I will take my heels. (Exit running

upon my life by some device or other
The villain is ore-wrought of all my mony.
They say this town is full of Cozenage:
as nimble Juglers ytthat decieve the eye:
Dark working sorcerers ytthat change yethe mind:

soul killing witches ytthat deform yethe body,
disguised cheaters, prating moutebancks,
and many such like liberties of sinn:
if it prove so I will be gone yethe sooner.
I’ll to yethe Centaur and Goe seek this slave
I greatly fear my mony is not safe.
Exit

neither my husband nor yethe slave returnd
ytthat in such hast I sent to seek his master?
sure Luciana it is two a clock

perhaps some merchant hath invited him
and from yethe mart he’s somewhere gone to dinner
Good sister lett|uslett us dine and never fret
a man is master of his libertie:
time is their master and when they see time
TheyllThey’ll goe or come; if so be patient sister.

why should their liberty then ours be more?

because their busyness still Lyes out a doore.

Looke when I serve him so, he takes it ill.

oh! know he is yethe bridle of your will

theres none but asses will be bridled so

why headstrong liberty is lashd wthwith woe:
There’s nothing situate under heavens great eye
but has its bounds in earth in sea in skye.
The beasts yethe fishes and yethe winged fowls
are their males subjects and at their controuls:
man more divine, & master of all these
Lord of yethe wide world and vast watry seas
indued with intellectuall sence and soul
of more ꝑpreheminence then fish or fowle,
are masters of their females and their Lords:

Then lett yryour will attend on their accords.

this servitude makes you to keep unwed.

not this but troubles of yethe mariage bed.

but were you wedded you would bear some sway.

ere I learn love I’ll practise to obey.

how if yryour husband start some other where?

till he come home again I would forbear

patience unmovd, no wonder if she pause
They can be meek ytthat have no other cause:
a wretched soul bruisd wthwith adversity
we bid be quiet when we hear it cry:
But were we burdned wthwith like weight of pain
as much or more we should our|selves complain
so thou ytthat hast no unkind mate to greeve thee,
wthwith urging helpless patience would relieve me

nay I will marry one day but to try:
Here comes yryour man now is yryour husband nie. Enter Dromio Ephe:

say is yryour tardy master nie at hand?

nay hee’s at two hands wthwith me and ytthat my two eares
can wittness

say didst thou speak wthwith him? knowst thou his mind?

I, I, he told his mind upon mine ear
Beshrew his hand I scarce could understand it.

spake he so doubtfully ytthat thou couldst not feel
his meaning?

nay he strook so plainly ytthat I could not too--
well feel his blows; and withall so doubtfully ytthat I could
scarce understand them

But say I pray thee is he coming home
it seems he hath great care to please his wife.

O MrsMistress sure my master is horn mad.

horn-mad thou villain

I mean not cuckold mad.
But sure he is stark mad:
when desird him to come home to dinner
he askd me for a 1000 marks of Gold;
Tis dinner time quoth I: my gold quoth he:
your meat doth burn quoth I: my gold quoth he
will you come home quoth I: my gold quoth he
where is yethe 1000 marks I gave thee villain?
yethe pig quoth I is burnt: my gold quoth he:
my mrsMistress sir quoth I: hang up thy MrsMistress
I know not thy mrsMistress: out on thy MrsMistress.

Quoth who?

quoth my Master. I know quoth he no house no wife
no mrsmistress : so ytthat my arrant due unto my tongue, I thanck him
I bare home upon my shoulders: for in yethe conclusion d he did
beat me there.

goe back again thou slave and fetch him home.

goe backe again and be new beaten home?
For Gods sake send some other messenger.

back slave or I will break thy pate across

and he will bless ytthat cross wthwith t’other beating.
Between you I shall have a holy head.

hence prating villain fetch thy master home

am I so round with you as you with me
ytthat like a football you doe spurn me thus
you spurn me he hence and he will kick me hither
If I last in this service you must case me in leather

fie how impatience lowreth in yryour face: (Exit

His company must doe his minions grace
whilst I at home starve for a merry looke:
Hath homely age yethe alluring beauty tooke
from my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it.
are my discourses dull? barren my witt?
If voluble and sharp discourse be mar’d

unkindness blots it more than marble hard.
Doe their gay vestments his affections baite?
That’s not my fault he’s master of my state.
wtwhat ruins are in me ytthat can be found
by him not ruind? Then is he yethe ground
of my diffeatures. my decayed hfair
a sunny look of his would soon repair
But (too unruly Deer) he pBreaks the pale
and feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.

self harming Jealousy, fie beat it hence

unfeeling fools can wthwith such wrongs dispence:
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere
or else wtwhat lets it but he would be heer?
sister you know he promisd me a chain
would ytthat alone, alone he would detain
so he would keep fair quarter wthwith his bed
I see yethe Jewell best enameled
will loose its beaty: yet yethe gold bides still.
since ytthat my beauty cannot please his eye
I’ll weep what’s left away and weeping dye.

how many fond fools serve mad Jealousie (Exeunt Enter Antipholis Erotes.

The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
safe at yethe centaur; and yethe carefull slave
is wandred forth wthwith care to seek me out.
By computation and my hosts report
I could not speak wthwith Dromio, since at first
I sent him from yethe mart: see here he comes
Enter Dromio syracusan.
How now SrSir is yryour merry humour altred?
as you love stroakes so jest wthwith me again:
you know no centaur? you recievd no Gold?
yryour mrsmistress sent to have me home to dinner?

my house was at yethe Phoenix? wast thou mad
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

sir: what answer sir? when spake I such a word

Even now, even here: not half an hour agoe

I did not see you since you sent me hence
Home to the centaur wthwith yethe Gold you Gave me.

villain thou didst deny yethe golds receit
and told me of a MrsMistress and a dinner
For which I hope thou feltst I was displeasd

I am glad to see you in this merry veyne
wtwhat means this jest I pray you Master tell me?

yea dost thou jeerst and flout me to my teeth?
Thinckst thou I jest? hold take thou ytthat & ytthat ( Beats him

hold sir for Gods sake now yryour jeast is earnest,
upon wtwhat bargain doe you give it me?

because ytthat I familiarly somtimes
doe use you for my fool and chat with you
your sawciness will jeast upon my Love
and make a common of my serious hours.
when yethe sun shines let foolish gnats make sport
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams:
If you will jest with me, know my aspect
and fashion yryour demeanour to my lookes
or I will beat this method in your sconce.

sconce call you it? so you would leave battering
I had rather have it a head; if you use these blows long I–
must get a sconce for my head, and insconce it too or
else I shall seek my witt in my shoulders. But pray you sir
why am I beaten?

dost thou not know?

nothing sir but ytthat I am beaten.

shall I tell you why?

I sir and wherfor for they say every why hath a wherfore

why first for flouting me, and then wherfor for ururging
ging it yethe second time.

was ever man thus beaten out of season, when yethe why
and the wherfor is neither rime nor reason. well sir, I
thanck you.

thank me SrSir for wtwhat?

marry sir for this somthing wchwhich you gave me for nothing.

I’ll make you amends next to give you nothing
for something. But say sir is it dinner time?

no sir I thinck yethe meat wants wtwhat I have

in good time sirrah wt’swhat’s ytthat?

Basting.

well then twill be dry.

if it be sir I pray you eat none of it.

your Reason?

lest it make you chollerick and purchase me ano–another
ther Dry basting.

well sir learn to jest in good time, thers a time
for all things

I durst have denyd ytthat before you were so chollerick.

by wtwhat rule SrSir

marry by rule as plain as yethe old bald pate of fafather
ther time himself

lets hear it.

theres no time for a man to recover his hair ytthat –
grows bald by nature.

may he not doe it by fine and recovery?

yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover yethe
lost hair of another man.

why is time so niggardly of hair being as it
is so plentifull an excrement

because it is a blessing he bestows on beasts
and what he hath scanted them in hair he hath gigiven
ven them in witt

why there’s many a man hath more hair then
witt

not a man of those but he has yethe witt to loose –
his hair.

why thou didst conclude hairy men plaindealersplain dealers
without witt

yethe plainer dealer yethe sooner lost; yet he looseth

in a kind of jollity

for wtwhat reason.

for two and sound ones.

nay not sound ones I pray you

sure ones then.

nay nor sure ones in a thing false

Certain ones then.

name them.

yethe one to save yethe mony ytthat he spends in trying
yethe other that at dinner they should not drop into his
pottage.

you would all this time have prov’d ytthat there’s
no time for all things

marry and did sir: namly: no time to recover lost
hair lost by nature.

but yryour reason was not substantiall why there
is no time to recover.

thus I mend it: time himselfe is bald and therfor
to yethe worlds end he will have bald followers.

I knew ’twould be a bald conclusion. But soft
who wafts us yonder? Enter Adriana and Luciana.

I, I, Antipholis Look strange and frown
some other mrsMistress hath thy sweet aspects:
I am not Adriana nor yryour wife.
yethe time was once when thou unurg’d wouldst vow
ytthat never words were musik to thy eare
ytthat never object pleasing to thine eye
ytthat never touch well welcome to thy hand
ytthat never meat sweet savoured to thy tast
unless I spake or look’d or touch’d or cav’d to thee.
How comes it now my husband oh how comes it
ytthat thou art thus estranged from thy selfethyself?
thy selfethyself I call it, being strange to me,
that undevidable, incorporate
am better than thy deer selfes better part

Ah doe not tear away thy selfethyself from me
for know my love, as easy mayst thou fall
a drop of water in yethe breaking gulph
and take unmingled thence ytthat drop again
wthoutwithout addition or ad‸iminishing
as take from me thy selfethyself and not me too.
how nearly would it touch thee to yethe quick
shouldst thou but hear I was licentious?
and ytthat this body consecrate to thee
by Ruffian Lust should be contaminate?
wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me
and hurl yethe name of husband in my face
and tear tear yethe stain’d skin from my ‸Ruffiaharlot brow
and from my false hand cut yethe wedding ring
and break with a deep devorcing vow?
I know thou wouldst and therfor see thou dost it
I am possest wthwith an addulterate blot
my blood is mingled wthwith yethe crime of Lust:
for if we two be one and thou play false
I do digest yethe poison of my flesh
Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
Keep ynthen faire leaguleague and truce wthwith thy own bed
I live distaind thou undishonoured

plead you to me fair dame? I know you not.
In Ephesus I am but 2 hours old
as strange unto yryour town as to yryour talk.
whose every word by all my witt being scan’d
wants witt in all one word to understand

Fie Brother how yethe world is changd wthwith you
when were you usd to wont to use my sister thus?
she sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

By Dromio?

By me?

By thee and thus thou didst return from him
ytthat he did buffet thee and in his blowes
denyde my house for his, me for his wife.

did you converse sir wthwith ysthis Gentlewoman
wtwhat is yethe course and drift of your compact?

I sir sir? I never saw till this time

villain thou lyest for even her very words
Thou didst deliver to me on yethe mart

I never spake wthwith her in all my life.

how can she thus then call us by our names
unless it be by inspiration?

how ill agrees it wthwith yryour gravity
to counterfiet thus grosly wthwith yryour slave
abetting him to thwart me in my mood.
come I will fasten on this sleeve of thine
Thou art an elm my husband, I a vine
whose weakness married to thy stronger state
makes me of thy strength some part communicate.
If ought possess thee from me ’tis but dross
usurping ivie brier or idle moss,
who all for want of pruning, with intrusion
infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion.

to me she speakes she moves me for her theam.
wtwhat was I married to her in my dream?
or sleep I now and thinck I hear all this?
wtwhat error drives our eyes and hearts amiss?
untill I know this sure uncertainty
i’ll entertein this masked fallacie

Dromio goe bid yethe servants spread for dinner

oh for my beads I cross me for a sinner.
This is yethe fayry land o spight of spights
we talk with goblins owls and elvish sprights;
If we obey them not this will ensue
they suck our breath or pinch us black and blue

why prat’st thou to thy selfethyself
Dromio, thou Dromio, thou slave, thou slug, thou sot:

I am transformed, master, am I not

I thinck thou art in mind and so am I

nay master both in mind and in my shape

thou hast thine own form

no I am an ape.

If thou art changd to ought tis to an ass

tis true she rides me, and I long for grass.
tis so I am ass else it could never be
But I should know her as well as she knows me.

come come no longer will I be a foole
to put my finger ‸inmy eye and weep;
whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn:
com sir to dinner, Dromio keep yethe Gate:
Husband I’ll dine above wthwith you today
and shrive you of a 1000 idle pranks.
Sirra if any ask you for yryour master
say he dines forth and lett no creature enter.
Come sister, Dromio play yethe porter well.

Am I in earth in heaven or in hell
sleeping or waking mad or well advisd
known unto these and to my self disguisd?
I’ll say as they say and persever so
and in this mist at all adventures goe

master shall I be porter att yethe Gate

yes and lett none enter least I break your pate.

Come come Antipholis we dine too late.
Exeunt

Good Signior Angelo you must excuse us all
my wife is shrewish when I miss my hours
say ytthat I lingred wthwith you at yryour shop
to see yethe making of her carkanet
and that to morrowtomorrow you will bring it home

But heres a villain ytthat would face me down.
he met me on yethe mart, and ytthat I beat him
and chargd him with a 1000 marks of Gold
and ytthat I did deny my wife and house;
Thou dotard thou what didst thou mean by this?

say wtwhat you will SrSir, but I know what I know
ytthat you beat me at yethe mart I have yryour hand to show;
if my skin were parchment and yethe y blows you gave ink
your hand writing would tell you yethe same ytthat I thinck.

I thinck thou art an ass

marry so it doth appear
Both by yethe wrongs I suffer and yethe blows I bear.
I should kick when I’m kick’d and being at that pass
you would keep from my heels and beware of an ass.

you are sad Signior Baltazar pray God our cheer
may answer my Godwill and yryour good welcome here

I hold yryour daintys cheap sir & yryour welcom Dear

oh Signior Baltazar either at flesh or fish
a table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.

small Cheer and great welcome makes a merry
feast.

yes to a niggardly host and more sparing guest
But tho my cates be mean take them in good part
Better cheere may you have but not with better heart.
But soft my door is lockt goe bid them let us in.

Maud, Briget, Marian, Cicely, CGilian, Jinn.

Maome, malthorse, capon, coxcombe, ideot, patch,
either Get thee from yethe door or sit down at yethe hatch;
dost thou conjure for wenches ytthat thou calst for such store
when one is too many, goe get thee from yethe dore.

wtwhat patch is made our porter? my master stays i’th street.

let him goe as he came lest he catch cold on’s feet

who talks wthinwithin there ho open yethe dore.

right sir ill tell you when, and you’ll tell me wherfor

wherfor? for my dinner: I have din’d to daytoday

nor to daytoday here you must not come again wnwhen you may.

wtwhat art thou ytthat keeps me out from yethe house I owe.

yethe porter for this time, & and my name is Dromio.

o villain thou hast stoln both mine office & my name
yethe one nere got me credit, but yethe other much blame
if thou hadst been Dromio to daytoday in my place
Thou wouldst have changd thy face for a name, or thy
name for an ass. Enter Luce

wtwhat noise is there Dromio? who are those at yethe Gate

let my master in Luce

faith no he comes too late. and so tell yryour master

o Lord I must laugh have at you with a proverb
shall I sett in my staff

have at you with another, that’s when? Can you tell?

if thy name be cald Luce, Luce thou hast Answered well

doe you hear you minion, you’l let us in I hope

I thought to have askd you

and you said no

so come help well struck there was blow for blow

thou baggage let me in

can you tell for whose sake?

master knock yethe door hard

Let him knock till it ake

you’ll cry for this minion if I beat yethe door down

wtwhat needs all ytthat and a pair of stocks in yethe towne Enter Adriana:

who is ytthat at yethe door ytthat keeps such a noyse

by my troth yryour towne is troubled wthwith unruly boyes

are you there wife? you might have come before

yryour wife sir knave? go get you from yethe dore

If you went in pain master ysthis knave would goe sore

There’s somthing in yethe wind ytthat we cannot get in

you would say soe master if yryour garments were thin

goe fetch me somthing i’ll pbreak ope yethe gate

break any Breaking here and ill break your–
knaves pate.

a man may break a word wthwith you and words are but wind

yes and break it in your face so he break it not behind.

it seems thou wantst breaking out upon thee hind.

here’s too much out upon thee I prethee let me in.

I, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin.

well Ill break in go borrow me a crow

a crow wthoutwithout feather master mean you so
for a fish without a fin there’s a fowl with outwithout a feather
If a crow help us in we’ll pluck a crow togeather.

Goe get thee gon fetch me an iron crow.

have patience sir o let it not be so
herein you warr against yryour reputation
and draw wthinwithin yethe compass of suspect
the inviolated honour of yryour wife.
Besides yethe long experience of her wisdom
her sober vertue years and modestie
plead on her part some cause to you unknown
why at this time yethe doors are made against you.
Be ruld by me depart in patience
and lett us to yethe tyger all to dinner
and about evniing come yryour selfe alone
to know yethe reason of this strange restraint:
If by strong hand you offer to break in,
now in yethe stirring passage of yethe day
a vulgar comment will be made on it:
and ytthat supposed by yethe common rout
against yryour yet ungalld estimation
That may wthwith foul intrusion enter in
and dwell upon yryour grave when you are dead,
for slaunder lives upon succession
for-ever housd where once it gets possession

you have prevaild I will depart in quiet
and in despight of mirth mean to be merry;
I know a wench of excellent discourse
prettie and wittie; wild and yet too Gentle;
There will we dine: this woman ytthat I mean
my wife ( but I protest without desert)

hath oftentimes upbraided me with allwithall
to her will we to dinner; get you home
and fetch yethe chain, by this I know ’tis made
bring it I pray you to yethe porpentine
For there’s yethe house: ytthat chain I will bestow
(be it for nothing but to spight my wife)
upon my hostess there good sir make hast.
since mine owne doors refuse to entertein me
I’ll knock elsewhere to see if they’ll disdain me

I’ll meet you at ytthat place some hours hence

doe so this jest shall cost me some expence. (Exeunt Enter Luciana & Ant: Erotes.

and may it b:be ytthat you have quite forgot a husbands
a husbands office? shall, Antipholis,
even in yethe spring of love thy lovespringslove springs rot?
shall love in buildings grow so ruinate?
If you did wed my sister for her wealth
Then for her wealthssakewealths sake use her wthwith more kindness
or if you like elsewhere doe it by stealth
muffle your false love wthwith some shew of blindness:
let not my sister read it in yryour eye:
let not yryour tongue be yryour shames orator:
look sweet speak fair become disloyalty;
apparell vice like vertues harbinger,
Bear a fair presence, thoug yryour heart be tainted
teach sin yethe carriage of a holy saint
be secret false: what need she be acquainted?
what foolish thief brags of his own attaint?
tis double wrong to truant with yryour bed,
and let her read it in yryour lookes at bord
shame hath a bastard fame well-managed
ill deeds are double wthwith an evill word:
alas poor women make us not believe
(Being compact of credit) ytthat you love us,
though others have yethe arm shew us yethe sleeve

we in yryour motion turne and you may move us.
Then Gentle Brother get you in again
comfort my sister chere her call her wife
tis holy sport to be a little vain
when yethe sweet breath of flattery comforts strife

sweet mrsMistress wtwhat yryour name is else I know not
nor by what wonder you do hit of mine
Less in yryour knowledge and yryour grace you show not
Then our earths wonder ‸more then our earth devine.
Teach me dear creature how to thinck and speak
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit
smotherd in errors feeble shallow weak
yethe foulded meaning of yryour words deceit.
against my soules pure truth why labour you
To make it wander in an unknowne field?
are you a God? would you create me new?
transform me then & to yryour power I’ll yield.
But if ytthat I am, I, then well I know
yryour weeping sister is no wife of mine
nor to her bed a homage doe I owe.
far more farr more to you doe I decline:
o train me not sweet Mermaid wthwith thy note
to drown me in thy sisters floud of tears;
sing siren for thy selfethyself, And I will dote.
spread ore yethe silver waves thy golden hairs
and as a bed I’ll take thee & there lie
and in ytthat glorious supposition thinck
he gains by death ytthat hath such means to dye.

wtwhat are you mad, ytthat you doe reason so?

not mad but mated how I do not know.

it is a fault ytthat springeth from yryour eye

for gazing on yryour Beams, fair sun, being by.

gaze where you should and ytthat will cleer yryour sight.

as good to wink sweet love as look on night.

why call you me Love? call my sister so

thy sisters sister.

thats my sister.

no it is thy selfethyself my own selfes better part
my eyes clear eye, my dear heart’s Deerer heart;
my food my fortune and my hopes sweet ayme,
my sole earths heaven, and my heavens claim.

all this my sister is or else should be

call thy selfethyself sister love, for I am for thee
Thee will I love & with thee lead my life
Thou hast no husband yet nor I no wife,
give me thy hand.

o soft sir hold you still
I’ll fetch my sister to get her good will (Exit. Enter Dromio Siracusan

why how now Dromio where runst thou so fast?

doe you know me sir? Am I Dromio? Am I my selfe?

thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thy selfethyself

I am an ass, I am a womans man, & besides my selfe

wtwhat womans man? and how besides thy selfethyself?

marry sir besides my self I am due to a woman, one
ytthat claimes me, one ytthat haunts me, one ytthat will have me

wtwhat claime lays she to thee?

marry such claime as one would lay to a horse
and she would have me as a beast. not ytthat I being a beast
she would have me, But ytthat she being a very beastly
creature layes claime to me.

wtwhat is she

a very reverent body: I such a one as a man may not
speak of, wthoutwithout he say sir reverence: I have but lean –
luck in yethe match and yet she is a very fat mariage.

how dost thou mean a very fat mariage?

marry SrSir she is yethe kitchin wench & all grease
and I know not what use to put her to, but to make
a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light.
I warrant her raggs and yethe tallow in them will burne

a Poland winter: if she live till doomesday shee’l burn
a week longer then yethe whole world

wtwhat complexion is she of?

swarthy like my shoe, but her face nothing like
so clean kept: for whyen she sweats a man may goe
over shoes in yethe grime of it

that’s a fault ytthat water will mend

no SrSir ’tis in grain, Noahs floud could not doe it

wtswhat’s her name?

Nell sir: but her name is 3 quarters; that is
an ell and 3 quarters will not measure her from hip
to hip

then she bears some breadth

she’s no longer from head to foot ynthan from hip to hip: she’s
sphericall like a globe: I could find out country’s in her.

in wtwhat part of her body stands Ireland?

marry sir in her Buttocks I found it out by yethe boggs.

where Scotland?

I found it by the barrenness, hard in yethe palm of her
hand

I lookd for the chalky cliffs But I could find no
whiteness in them. But I guess it stood in her chin, by
yethe salt rheume ytthat ran between france & it.

oh! in her forehead, arm’d & reverted making warr
against her hair.

where spain

faith I saw it not: but I felt it hot in her breath.

where America and yethe Indies?

O sir upon her nose all embelishd ore wthwith carbuncarbuncles

cles Rubies saphirs declining their rich aspect to yethe
hot breath of spain who sent whole armado’s of carracts
to be Ballast at her nose

where stood Belgia or yethe Netherlands?

o sir I did look so low. to conclude this drudge
or deviner laid claime to me, cald me Dromio, swore I was
assur’d to her, told me what privy marks I had about me
as yethe marks of my shoulder yethe mole in my neck yethe great
wart of on my left arm ytthat I amazd ran from her as a
witch; and if my heart had not been made of faith
and my brest of steel, she had transformd me to a
curtall dog and made turn ithin the wheel.

goe hye thee presently post to the rode
and if yethe wind blow any way from shore
I will not harbour in this towne to nighttonight.
if any Bark put forth come to yethe mart,
where I will walk till thou return to me.
if every one knows us and we know none
tis time I thinck to trudge, pack, and begone

as from a Bear a man would flye for life
so fly I now from her ‸whowould be my wife. (exit

There’s none but witches doe inhabit here
& therfor tis high time ytthat I were hence
she that does call me husband even my very soule
Doth for a wife abhorr. but her faire sister
possest with such a gentle soveraigne grace
of such enchanting presence and discourse
hath almost made me traitor to my selfe
But my selfe be guilty to selfes wrong
I’ll stop myne ears against the mermaids song Enter Goldsmith wthwith yethe Chain.

Mr Antipholis.

I that’s my name

I know it well sir look you here’s yethe chain
I thought to have tane you at yethe porpentine
yethe chain unfinishd made me stay so long.

wtwhat is yryour will ytthat I should doe wthwith this?

nay please yryour selfe Sir I have made it for you.

made it for me sir? I bespoke it not

not once nor twice but 20 times you have.
Goe home with it and please yryour wife withall.
& soon at supper time I’ll visit you
& then recieve my mony for yethe chaine.

I pray you sir recieve yryour mony now
for fear you neer see chain nor mony more.

you are a merrymanmerry man sir, fare you well. (Exit

wtwhat I should thinck of this I cannot tell.
But this I thinck theres no man is so vain
ytthat would refuse so fair an offerd chain.
I see amana man heere needs not live by shifts
when in yethe streets he meets such golden gifts.
I’ll to yethe mart and there for Dromio stay
if any ship put out then straight away. Exit

you know since Pentecost yethe sum is due
& since you know I have not importund you
nor now I had not but ytthat I am bound
to Persia and want gilders for my voyage:
Therfor make present satisfaction
Or i’ll arrest you by this officer

even just yethe sum ytthat I do ow to you
is growing to me by Antipholis
and in yethe instant ytthat I met with you
he had of me a chaine; at 5 aclock
I shall recieve yethe mony for yethe same
Please you to walke wthwith me down to his house
I will discharge my bond & thanck you too Enter Ant: Sereptus Dromio Ep: from yethe courtezans

ytthat labour may you save, see where he comes

while I goe to yethe goldsmiths house goe thou
and buy a ropes end ytthat I will bestow

among my wife and her confederates
for locking me out of my doors to daytoday:
But soft I see yethe Goldsmith; get thee gone
by me a rope & bring it home to me

I buy a 1000 pound a year I buy a rope (Exit

a man is well holpe up ytthat trusts to you
I promised your presence and yethe chain
But neither chane nor Goldsmith came to me:
Belike you thought our love would last too long
if it were chaind togeather; and therfor came not.

saving yryour merry humour here’s yethe note
how much yryour chain weighs to yethe utmost Raccat
yethe fineness of yethe Gold and, costly fashion
wchwhich doth amount to three odd duckats more
Then I stand debted to this gentleman.
I pray you see him presently discharg’d
for he is bound to sea, and stayes for it.

I am furnishd wthwith yethe present mony:
Besides I have some business in yethe towne
good signior take yethe stranger to my house
& with you take yethe chain, & bid my wife
disburse yethe sum on yethe receit therof
perchance I will be there as soon as you

then you will bring yethe chain to her yryour selfe

no bear it with you least I come not time enough

well sir I will. have you yethe chain about you

and if I have not sir I hope you have
or else you may returne without your money.

nay come I pray you Sir give me yethe chain
Both wind and tide stays for yethe Gentleman
and I to blame have held him here too long

good LdLord, you use this daliance to excuse
your breach of promise to yethe Porpentine

I should have chid you for not bringing it
but like a shrew you first begin to brawle.

yethe hour steals on I pray you SrSir dispatch.

you hear how he importunes me; give the chain.

why give it to my wife & fetch your mony

come come, you know I gave it you just now
either send yethe chain or send me by some token.

fie now you run this humour out of breath
come wheres the chaine I pray you lett me see it

my business cannot brooke this dalliance
good SrSir say whether you’ll answer me or no
if not i’ll leave him to yethe officer.

I Answer you! why should I Answer you?

yethe mony ytthat you owe me for the chain

I owe you none till I recieve yethe chain.

you know I gave it you half an hour hesince.

you gave me none, you wrong me much to say so

you wrong me SrSir in thus denying it
consider how it stands upon my credit.

well officer arrest him, at my suite

I do, and charge you in yethe Dukes name to obey me

this touches me in reputation
either consent to pay yethe sum for me
or I arrest you by this officer

consent to pay for ytthat I never had
arrest me foolish fellow if thou darst.

here is thy fee arrest him officer.
I would not spare my brother in this case,
if he should scorne ime so apparently.

I do arrest you SrSir you hear yethe suit.

I do obey thee till I give thee bail.
but you shall buy this sport as dear
as all yethe mettall in yryour shop will answer.

sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus
to yryour notorious shame I doubt it not.

Enter Dromio Syracusan from yethe Bay

master there is a bark of Epidamium,
That stays but till her owner come aboard,
Then sir shee’l bear away. our fraughtage sir
I have conveighd aboard, and I brought
The oyle, yethe Balsamum, yethe Aqua vitæ.
The ship is in her trim, yethe merry windes
Blows from yethe land, they stay for nought at all
but for their owner, Master, & your selfe.

how now a madman! why thou peevish sheep,
wtwhat ship of Epidamium stayes for me?

a ship you sent me to, to hire watftage.

Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope.
& told thee to wtwhat purpose, and wtwhat end:

you sent me for a Ropes end as soone,
you sent me to yethe bay sir for a bark.

I will debate this matter at more leisure,
& teach yryour eares to list me wthwith more heed:
to Adriana villaine hye thee straight,
give her this key and tell her, in yethe desk
ytsthat’s covered ore with Turkish tapestry
There is a purse of Duckets, let her send it:
Tell her I am arrested in yethe street,
and ytthat shall bale me: hie thee slave begone,
on officer to prison till it come.  exeunt

to Adriana that is where we din’d
where dowsabell did claime me for her husband,
she is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
Thither I must although against my will,
for servants must their Masters minds fullfill. (exit Enter Adriana & Luciana

ah Luciana did he tempt thee so?
mightest thou percieve austerely in his eye
ytthat he did plead in earnest yea or no;

Lookd he, or red or pale, or sad or merrily?
wtwhat observation made thou in his face case,
of his hearts meteors tilting in his face?

fisrst he denied you had in him a right.

he meant he did me none yethe more my spight.

Then swore he ytthat he was a stranger here.

and true he swore, tho yet forworne he were.

Then pleaded I for you.

and wtwhat said he?

ytthat love I begd for you, he begd of me.

wthwith wtwhat ꝑperswasion did he tempt thy love?

wthwith words ytthat in an honest suit might move;
first he did praise my beauty, then my speech.

didst speak him fair?

have patience I Beseech.

I cannot nor I will not hold me still,
my tongue, tho not my heart shall have its will.
He is deformed, crooked, old, severe,
illfac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where,
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
stigmaticall i’th making; worse ith mind.

who would be jealous then of such a one?
no evill lost is waild when it is gone.

Ah but I thinck him better then I say,
and yet would here in ytthat others eyes were worse.
far from her nest yethe lapwing cryes away
my heart prays for him tho my tongue do curse. Enter Dromio S:

here goe yethe Desk, yethe purse, sweet now make hast.

how hast thou lost thy breath?

by running fast.

where is thy master Dromio is he well?

no he’s in tartar Limbo, worse then hell.
a devill in an everlasting garment hath him.
one whose hard heart is button up with steel

a fiend, a fairy, pitiless and ruff:
a wolf, nay worse a fellow clad in buff;
a back friend, a shoulder clapper, one ytthat coutntermands
yethe passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands,
a hound ytthat runs counter, & yet runs drifoot well,
one ytthat before yethe Judgment carry poor soules to hell.

why man wtwhat is yethe matter?

I doe not know yethe matter, hes is rested on yethe case.

wtwhat is he arrested? tell me at whosesuitwhose suit?

I know not at whose suit he is arrested well,
But he is in a suit of Buff ytthat rested hismytthathim that I can tell:
will you mrsmistress send him redemption yethe mony in yethe Desk?

goe fetch it sister this I wonder at, (Exit Luciana
ytthat he should be in debt & I not know it.
tell me was he arrested on a band?

not on a band but on a stronger thing
a chain, a chain, doe you not hear it Ring?

wtwhat yethe chain?

no no yethe bell ‘tis time that I were gone,
twas two ere I left him, and now yethe clock strikes one.

the hours come back, ytthat did I never hear

o yes if an hour meets a serjeant it turns Back for fear.

as if time were in debt, how fondly dost thou reason.

time’s a very banckrupt and owes more then he is
worth to season.
nay he’s a thief too have you not heard men say,
ytthat time comes stealing on by night, and day?
If IHe beHe be in debt & theft and a serjeant in yethe way
hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day? Enter Luciana

go Dromio there’s the mony bear it straight,
and bring thy master home immediatly.
come sister I am prest down with conceit,
conceit my comfort, and my injurie. Exeunt

Enter Antipholis Erotes.

there’s not a man I meet but doth salute me
as if I were their well acquainted friend,
& every one doth call me by my name:
some tender mony to me, some invite me,
some others give me thancks for kindnesses,
some offer me commodities to bye.
even now a taylor cald me from his shop,
and showd me silks ytthat he had bought for me,
and therewithall tooke measure of my body.
sure these are but imaginarie wiles
and lapland sorcerers inhabit here. Enter Dromio siracusan.

marster here’s the gold you send me for. wtwhat have you godt
yethe picture of old Adam new apparelld?

wtwhat gold is this? wtwhat Adam dost thou mean?

nont ytthat Adam ytthat kept yethe paradice, but ytthat Adam that
keeps the prison; he that goes in yethe calfes skin ytthat was kild
for yethe prodigall; he ytthat came behind you sir like and evill An= Angell,

gell, and bid you forsake your libertye.

I understand thee not.

No? why tis a plain case: he ytthat went like a base violl ca=cased

sed in leather: yethe man SrSir ytthat when GentlemenareGentlemen are tyr’d gives
them a sob and rests them: he Sir ytthat takes pitty on decayed
men and gives them suites of durance; he that sets up his
rest to doe more exploits with his mace, then a morrice pike.

wtwhat thou meanst an officer.

yes sir yethe serjeant of yethe band: he ytthat breakes brings any man
to answer it ytthat breakes his band: one ytthat thincks a man alwaies
going to bed & bids him good rest.

well sir there rest yryour foolery.
is there any ship puts forth to night? may we be gone?

why sir I brought you word, ytthat yethe bark expedition put
forth to night; and then were you hindred by yethe serjeant to tarry
for yethe hoy delay: here are yethe Angels ytthat you sent for to deliver you.

yethe fellow is distract, and so am I;
and here we wander in illusions:
some blessed power deliver us from hence. Enter Courtezan.

well met well met, master Antipholis,
I see SrSir you have found yethe Goldsmith now,
is ytthat yethe chain you promisd me to daytoday?

Satan avoid I charge thee tempt me not.

master is this mrsMistress Satan?

it is yethe divell

nay she is worse she is yethe devills dam,
and here she comes in the habit of a light wench, & thereof
itcomesit comes, ytthat yethe wenches say God damm me, that is to say God
make me a light wench: it is wh written ytthat they appear to men
like angells of light; light is an effect of fire and fire will
burn; ergo light wenches will burn, come not near her.

yryour man and you are mervelousmarvelous merry Sir,
will you goe with me, weel mend our dinner heer?

master if you goe‸and expect spoonemeat, speake for a
long spoone.

why Dromio?

marry he must have a long spoon ytthat must eat with the
devill.

avoyd thou fiend, wtwhat toelst thou me of supping?
Thou art (as you are all) a sorceress):
I conjure thee to leave me and begon.

give me ytthat ring of mine you had at dinner,
or for my diamond yethe ye chain you promisd,
& I’ll begon sir, and not trouble you.

some devills ask but yethe pairing of ones nailes, a rush, a
hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut, a cherrye-stone, but she
more covetous, would have a chaine; master be wise for if
you give it her, the devill will shake her chain and fright
us with it.

I pray you sir my ring or else the chain.

I hope you doe not mean to cheat me so?

avant thou witch, come dromio let us goe.

fly pride sayes yethe peacock, mrsmistress ytthat you know. (Exeunt

now out of doubt Antipholis is mad,
else would he never so demean himselfe,
a ring he hath of mine worth forty duckets,
and for yethe same he promisd me achainea chain,
Both th’one, and th’other he denyes me now.
The reason why I gather ytthat he’s mad
is a mad tale he told to daytoday at dinner
of his own doors being shut against his entrance;
belike his wife acquainted with his fits,
on purpose shut yethe doors against his way.
my way is now to hye home to his house,
& tell his wife ytthat being lunatick
he rushd into my house, and tooke perforce
my ring away. this course I fittest Choose,
for 40 duckets is too much to loose. (Exit. Enter Antiph: Sereptus; Jaylor.

fear me not man I will not break away,
I’ll give thee ere I leave thee so much mony,
to warrant thee as I am rested of.
my wife is in a wayward mood to daytoday,
and will not lightly trust yethe messenger
ytthat I should be attachd in Ephesus;
I tell you ’twill sound harshly in her ears. Enter Dromio Eph: wtwhat a ropes end.
Here comes my man, I thinck he brings the mony:
How now sir? have‸you that I sent you for?

heres that I warrant you will pay them all

but where’s the mony?

why sir I gave yethe mony for yethe rope.

500 Duckets villain for a rope?

I’ll serve you sir 600 at yethe rate.

to wtwhat end did I bid thee thee hye thee home?

to a ropes end sir, and to ytthat end I am returnd.