LEMDO Classroom: The Three Ladies of London, Quarto 1

Edition: The Three Ladies of LondonThe Three Ladies of London, Quarto 1

A right excellent
and famous Comoedy called
the three Ladies of London.

WHEREIN IS NOTA-
BLIE DECLARED AND SET
foorth, how by the meanes of Lucar, Loue
and Conscience is so corrupted, that
the one is married to Dissi-
mulation, the other fraught
with all abhomina-
tion.

¶A PERFECT PATTERNE FOR ALL
Estates to looke into, and a worke right wor-
thie to be marked. Written by R.W.
as it hath beene publiquely
played.

AT LONDON,
¶Printed by Ro-
ger Warde, dweling neere
Holburne Conduit, at the signe
of the Talbot. 1584.

The Prologue.

To sit on honors seate, it is a loftie reach,
To seeke for praise by making brags, oftimes doth get a breach.
We list not ride the rowling Rackes, that dims the christall skies,
We mean to set no glimmering glaunce before your curteous eies.
search not Plutos pensiue pit, nor tast of Limbo lake:
shew of warlike fight, as sword and shield to shake.
not of the powers deuine, ne yet of furious sprites:
seeke high hilles to climbe, nor talke of loues delights.
not heere present to you, the threshar with his flayle:
Ne doo we here present to you, the milke maide with her payle.
We shew net you of countrey toile, as hedger with his bill:
We doo not bring the husbandman, to loppe and toppe with skill.
We play not heere the Gardiners part, to plant, to set and sowe:
You maruell then what stuffe we haue to furnish out our showe.
Your patience yet we craue a while, till we haue trimd our stall:
Then young and olde come and behold our wares, and buy them all.
Then if our wares shall soeme to you, well wouen, good and fine,
We hope we shall your custome haue, againe an other time.

FINIS.

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

The first Act.

Enter Fame sounding before Loue and Conscience.

Loue.

LAdy Conscience, what shall we say to our estates,
to whome shall we complaine?
Or how shall we abridge such fates, as heapeth by our paine?
Tis Lucar now that rules the rout, tis she is all in all:
Tis she that holds her head so stout, in fine tis she that workes our (fall.
Oh Conscience, I feare, I feare a day,
That we by her and vsurie, shall quite be cast away.

Consci.

Indeed I feare the worst, for euerie man doth sewe,
And comes from cuntreyes straunge and farre, of her to haue a vewe.
Although they ought to seeke true Loue and Conscience cleare:
But Loue and Conscience few do like, that leane on Lucars chaire
Men ought be ruld by vs, we ought in them beare sway:
So should ech neighbour liue by other, in good estate alway.

Loue.

For Lucar men come from Italy, Barbary, Turky,
From Jury: nay the Pagan himselfe,
Indaungers his bodie to gape for her pelfe.
They forsake mother, Prince, Countrey, Religion, kiffe and kinne,
Nay men care not what they forsake, so Lady Lucar they winne.
That we poore Ladies may sigh to see, our states thus turned and tost,
And worse and worse is like to be, where Lucar rules the rost.

Consci.

You say the truth, yet God I trust will not admit it so:
That Loue and Conscience by Lucars lust, shall catch an ouerthrow.

Fame.

Good Ladies rest content, and you no doubt shall see,
Them plagued with painefull punishment for such their crueltie.
And if true Loue and Conscience liue, from Lucars lust lasciuious:
Then Fame a triple crowne will giue, which lasteth aye victorious.

Consci.

God graunt that Conscience kaepe within the bounds of right:
And that vile Lucar do not daunt, her heart with deadly spight.

Loue.

And grant O God that Loue be found in Citie, Towne, and Cuntry,
Which causeth wealth and peace abound, and pleaseth God almightie.

Fame.

But Ladies, ist your pleasure to walke abroad a while,
And recreate your selues with measure your sorrowes to beguile.

Consci.

Passe on good Fame, your steppes do frame, on you we will attend,
And pray to God that holds the rod, our states for to defend. (Exeunt.

The second Acte.

¶Enter Dissimulation, hauing on farmers long coat, and
a cappe, and his polland beard painted motley.

Dissim.

Nay no lesse then a Farmar, a right honest man,
But my toong can not stay me to to tell what I am:
Nay who is it that knowes me not by my partie coloured head?
They may well thinke that see me, my honestie is fled.

Tush

of the three Ladies of London.

Tush a figge for honestie, tut let that goe:
Sith men, women, and children my name and doinges do know,
My name is Dissimulation, and no baseminde I beare,
For my outwarde effectes my inward zeale doe declare:
For men doe dissemble with their wiues, & their wiues with them again,
So that in the heartes of them I alwayes remayne:
The childe dissembles with his father, the sister with his brother,
The mayden with her mistres, and the young man with his louer:
There is Dissimulation betweene neighbour and neighbour,
Friend and Friend one with an other.
Betweene the seruaunt and his Maister, betweene brother and brother,
Then why make you it straunge that euer you knew me,
Seeing so often I rannge thorowout euery degree?
But I forget my businesse, ile towardes London as fast as I can,
To get entertainment of one of the three Ladies, like an honest man.

Enter Simplicitie lyke a Miller all mealy with
a wande in his hand.

They say that there is preferment in London to haue,
Mas and there be ile be passing and braue:
Why Ile be no more a miller, because the maydens call me dusty pole,
One thumpes me on the necke, and an other strikes me on the nose:
And you see I am a hansome fellow marke the comporknaunce of (my stature.
Faith ile goe seek paraduentures, and be a seruing-creature.

Dissiim.

Whither away good fellow I pray thee declare.

Sympli.

Mary ile clare thee, to London, would thou didst goe there.

Dissim.

What if I did, would it be the better for thee?

Simpli.

I mary should it, for I loue honest company.

Dissim.

Agreed, there is a bargen, but what shall I call thee?

Simpli.

Cause thou arte an honest man ile tell thee, my name is Simplicitie.

Dissim.

A name agreeing to thy nature, but stay here comes more companie.

Enter Fraud with a Sword and a Buckler like a Ruffiian.

Fraud.

Huffe once alofte and if I may hit in the right vayne,
Where I may beguile easely without any great payne:
I will haunt it and braue it after the lusty swash,
Ile deceiue thousandes, what care I who lye in the lashe.

Dissim.

What Fraud well met, whither trauellest thou this way?

Fraud.

To London to get entertainement there if I may,
Of the three Ladyes, Lucar, Loue, and Conscience:
I care not whome I serue (the Deuill) so I may get pence.

Simpli.

O Fraud I know thee for a deceitfall knaue,
And art thou gotten so baniacion and braue:
I knew thee when thou dwelledst at a place called Graues-end,
And the guestes knew thee too, because thou wast not their friend:
For when thou shouldst bring reckoning to the guestes,
Thou would, but twise so much, and sweare it cost thy dame no lest,
So thou didst beceiue them, and thy dame too:

A.iii. And

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

And because they spied thy knauery, away thou didst go.
Then thou didst go into Hartforshire, to a place called Ware,
And because horses stood at hay for a peny a night there,
So that thou couldst get nothing that kind of way,
Thou didst grease the horses teeth, that they should not eate hay,
Then thou wouldst tell the rider his horse no haie would eate.
Then the man would say, giue him some other kind of meate.
Sir, shall I giue him Otes, Fitches, Pease, Barly, or Bread,
But what ere thou gauest him, thou stolest three quarters when he was (in bed.
And now thou art so proud with thy filching & coosening art,
But I thinke one day thou wilt not be proude of the Rope and the Cart.
Take a wise fellowes counsell Fraude, leaue thy coosening and filching.

Fraude.

Thou horson rascall swad auaunt, ile bang thee for thy brauling,
How darest thou defame a Gentleman that hath so large a liuing?

Simpli.

A goodly Gentleman Ostler, I thinke none of all you wil beleue him.

Fraude.

What a clinchpoope drudge is this: I can forbeare him no more.

Let Fraude make as though he would strike him, but let
Dissimulation step betwene them.

Dissim.

My good freend Fraude refraine, and care not therefore,
Tis Simplicitie that patch, he knoweth not good from bad.
And to stand in contention with him, I would thinke you were mad.
But tell me Fraud tell me, hast thou beene an Ostler in thy daies?

Fraude.

Tut I haue proued an hundred such waies:
For when I could not thriue by all other trades,
I became a Squire to waite vpon Iades.
But then was then, and now is now, but let that passe,
I am as thou seeest me, what care I the deuill what I was.

Dissim.

You say you go to London, in faith haue with you then,

Simpli.

Nay come and go with me good honest man.
For if thou go with him, he will teach thee all his knauery,
There is none will go with him, that hath any honestie.
A bottes on thy motley beard, I knowe thee, thou art Dissimulation,
And hast thou got an honest mans coat, to semble this fashion.
Ile tell thee what, thou wilt euen semble and cog with thine own father,
A couple of false knaues togither, a Theefe and a Broker.
Thou makes townes folkes beleue, that thou art an honest man in the (cuntry,
Thou doest nothing but cog, lie, and foist with hypocrisie.
You shall be hanged togither, and go alone togither for me,
For if I should go, the folkes would say, we were knaues all three.

¶Enter Symonie and Vserie hand in hand.

Symo.

Fraend Userie, I thinke we are well neare at our iourneies end:
But knowest thou whome I haue espied?

Vsery.

No.

Sym.

Fraud our great freend.

Vsury.

And I see an other that is now come into my remembrance.

Sym.

Who is that?

Vsury.

Mary M. Dauy Dissimulation, a good helper, & our old acquaintance.

Nowe

of the three Ladies of London.

Simpli.

Nowe all the Cardes in the stock are delte about,
The foure knaues in a cluster comes ruffling out.

Sym.

What Fraud and Dissimulation happily found out,
I meruaile what peece a worke you two goe about.

Fraud.

Faith sir we met by chaunce, and towardes London are bent,

Vsery.

And to London we hye it is our chie‘est intent,
To see if we can get entertainment of the Ladies or no.

Dissim.

And for the selfe same matter euen thither we goe.

Sym.

Then we are luckely well met, and seeing we wishe all for one thing,
I would we our willes and wishing might winne.

Simpli.

Yes they will be sure to winne the Deuill and all,
Or els theyle make a man to spew out his gall:
Oh that vilde Usery, he lent my father a little money, and for breaking (one day
he tooke the fee-simple of his house and mill quite away:
And yet he borrowed not halfe a quarter so much as it cost,
But I thinke if he had had but a shilling it had bene lost:
So he kild my father with sorrow, and undoed me quite,
And you deale with him sirs you shall finde him a knaue full of spight.
And Symony I yse I, Symony too he is a knaue for the nonce.
He loues to haue twenty liuinges at once,
And if he let an honest man as I am to haue one,
Hele let it so deare that he shalbe undone:
And he seekes to get Parsons liuinges into his hand,
And puts in some odd dunce that to hys payment will stand:
So if the parsonage be worth forty or fifty pound a yeare,
He will geue one twentie nobles to mumble seruice once a month there.

Symony and Vsurie both.

What rascall is he that speaketh by us such villony.

Dissim.

Sirs he was at vs earewhile too, it is no matter, it is a simple soule
called Simplicitie.
Enter Loue and Conscience.
But here come two of the Ladyes therefore make readie.

Fraud.

But which of vs all shall first breake the matter.

Dissim.

Mary let Symony do it, for he finely can flatter.

Vsery.

Nay sirs because none of vs shall haue preheminence aboue other:
We will sing in fellowship together like brother and brother.

Sym.

Of troth agreed my maisters let it be so,

Simpli.

Nay and they sing, ile sing to.

The Song.

Good Ladyes take pittie and graunt our desire.

Conscience reply.

Speake boldly and tell me what ist you require.

Their reply.

Your seruice good Ladyes, is that we doe craue.

Her reply.

We like not, nor list not such seruauntes to haue.

A.iiii. Their

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie.

Their replie.

If you entertaine vs, we trustye will be:
But if you refraine vs, then moste vnhapye.
We will come, we will runne, we will bend at your beck:
We will plye, we will hye, for feare of your check.

Her reply.

You doe fayne, you doe flatter, you doe lye you doe prate,
You will steale, you will Robbe, you will kill in your hate.
I denie you, I defie you, then sease of your talking:
I refraine you, I disdaine you, therfore get you walking.

Consci.

What Fraud, Dissimulation, Usery, and Symony,
How dare you for shame presume so bouldly.
As once to shew yaur selues before Loue and Conscience,
Not yealding your lewd liues first to repentaunce:
Thinke you not that God will plague you for your wicked practises,
If you intend not to amend your vilde liues so amisse?
Thinke you not God knowes your thoughtes, words, and workes,
And what secret mischiefes in the heartes of you lurkes?
Then how dare you to offend his heauenly maiestie,
With your dissembling deceite, your flatterie and your vsery.

Fraud.

Tut sirs, seeing Ladie Conscience is so scrippolous,
Let vs not speake to her, for I see it is friuolous:
But what say you Lady Loue, will you graunt vs fauour?

Loue.

Ile no suche seruauntes, so ill of behauiour:
Seruauntes more fitter for Lucar then Loue,
And happie are they which refraine for to proue:
Shamelesse, pittilesse, gracelesse, and quite past honestie,
Then who of good conscience, but will hate your companie.

Vsery.

Here is scripolous Conscience, and nice Loue in deede,
Tush if they will not other will, I know we shall speede.

Simpli.

But Lady I stand still behinde, for I am none of their companie,

Consci.

Why, what art thou? oh I know thou art Simplicitie.

Simpli.

I fayth, I am Simplicitie, and would fayne serue yee.

Consci.

No, I may haue no fooles to dwell with me.

Simpli.

Why, then Lady Loue will you haue me than.

Loue.

I Simplicitie thou shalt be my man.

Simpli.

But shall I be your good man?

Loue.

I my good man indeede.

Simpli.

I but I would be your good man, and swap vp a wedding with good (speed.

Loue.

No, Loue may not marrie in any case with Simplicitie,
But if thou wilt serue me, ile receaue thee willingly,
And if thou wilt not, what remedie.

Simpli.

Yes I will serueye, but will you goe into dinner for I am hungry,

Loue.

Come Ladie Conscience, pleaseth you to walke home from this com-(pany?

Consci.

With right good will for their sightes pleaseth not me.

Exeunt, Lady Loue and Conscience.

Fraud.

Fraud is the clobish knaue, and Usery the hard harted knaue:
And Simony the dyamon daintie knaue,
And Dissimulation the spitefull knaue of Spade.

Come

of the three Ladies of London.

Come there any moe knaues, come there any moe:
I see fower knaues stand in a rowe.

Let Fraud runne at him, and let Simplicitie runne in, and
come out againe straight.

Fraud.

Away Drudge be gone quickely.

Simpli.

I wous doe thrust out my eyes with a Lady.

Exit Simplicitie.

Vsery.

Did you euer see Gentlemen so rated at before,
But it skilles not, I hope one day to turne them both out of dore.

Sym.

We were arrantly flowted, rayled at, and skoft in our kinde,
That same Conscience is a vild terrour to mans minde:
Yet faith I care not, for I haue borne many more then these.
When I was conuersaunt with the Clergy beyond the Seas:
And he that will liue in this world must not care what such say,
For they are blossomes blown down, not to be found after May.

Fraud.

Faith care that care will, for I care not a poynt,
I have shift it hitherto, and whilest I liue I will ieoberd a ioynt:
And at my death I will leaue my inheritour behinde,
That shalbe of the right stampe to follow my minde:
Therefore let them prate till their heartes ake, and spit out their euill,
She cannot quaile me if she came in likenesse of the great deuill.

Dissim.

Masse Fraud thou hast a doughtie heart to make a hangman off,
For thou hast good skill to helpe men from the coffe:
But we were arrantly flowted, yet I thought she had not known me,
But I perceiue though Dissimulatio do disguise him, Conscience can see,
What though Conscience perceiue it, all the worlde cannot beside?
Tush there be a thousand places where we our selues may prouide:
But looke sirs here commeth a lustie Lady towardes vs in haste,
But speake to her if you will, that we may be all plaste.

Enter Lady Lucar.

Vsery.

I pray thee doe, for thou art the likeliest to speede.

Dissim.

Why then ile tout with a stomacke in hope of good speede.
Faire Lady, al y Gods of good fellowship kisse ye (I would say blisse ye,

Lucar.

Thou art very pleasant & ful of thy roperipe (I would say Retorick,

Dissim.

Ladie you tooke me at the worste, I beseeche you therefore.
To pardon my bouldnesse, offending no more.

Lucar.

We do the matter is not great, but what wouldest thou haue?
How shall I call thee, and what ist thou doest craue?

Dissim.

I am called Dissimulation, and my earnest request,
Is to craue entertainment for me and the rest:
Whose names are Fraud, Usery and Symony,
Great carers for your health, wealth, and prosperity.

Lucar.

Fraud, Dissimulation, Usery, and Symonie,
Now truely I thanke you for profering your seruice to me:
You are all hartily welcome, and I will appoint straight way,

B.i. Where

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Where ethe one in his office in great honour shall stay:
But Usery didst thou neuer knowe my Graundmother the olde Lady
Lucar of Uenice.

Vsury.

Yes Madam I was seruaunt vnto her and liued there in blisse.

Lucar.

But why camest thou into England, seeing Uenis is a Cittie?
Where Usery by Lucar may liue in great glory.

Vsery.

I haue often heard your good graundmother tell,
That she had in England a daughter, which her farre did excell:
And that England was suche a place for Lucar to bide,
As was not in Europe and the whole world beside:
Then lusting greatly to see you, the countrey, and she being dead,
I made haste to come ouer to serue you in her stead.

Lucar.

Gramercie Userie, and I doubt not but that you shal liue here as ple-(santly,
I and pleasaunter too, if it may be, but Simonie from whence
came ye, tell me.

Sym.

My birth, nurserie, and bringing vp hitherto, hath bene in Rome, that
auncient Religious Cittie:
On a time, the Monkes and Fryers made a banquet, whereunto they
inuited me:
With certaine other some English Merchauntes whiche belike were
of their familiaritie.
So talking of many matters, amongst others, one began to debate,
Of the aboundant substaunce still brought to that state:
Some said the encrease of their substaunce and wealth,
Came from other Princes, and brought thether by stealth.
But the Friars and Monkes, with all the ancient company,
Said that it first came, and is now vpholden by me Symony:
Whiche the English Merchantes gaue eare to: then they flattered a little (to much
As English me can do for aduatage, whe increase it doth tutch.
And being a shipbourd mery, and ouercome with drinke on a day,
The winde serued, they hoyst sayle, and so brought me away:
And landing here, I heard in what great estimation you were,
Made bolde to your honour to make my repayre.

Lucar.

Well Symonie I thanke thee, but as for Fraud and Dissimulation,
I know their long continuance and after what fashion:
Therefore Dissimulation, you shalbe my Steward,
An office that euery mans case by you must be preferred.
And you Fraud shall be my rent-gatherer, my leater of Leases and my
purchaser of Land.
So that many olde bribes will come to thy hand.
And Userie because I knowe you be trustie, you shall be my
Secretariy.
To deale amongest Merchantes, to bargen and exchaunge money.
And Symony because you are a slie fellow and haue your tongue liberal,
I will place you ouer such matters as are Ecclesiasticall.
And though I appoint sundry offices where now you are in,
Yet ioyntly I meane to vse you together oft times in one thing:

All.

Lady we rest at your commaund in ought we can or may.

Lucar.

Then Maister Dauy to my Pallas haste thee awaie,
And will craftie Conueyaunce my Butler to make readie,

The

of the three Ladies of London.

The best fare in my house to welcome thee and thy
companie.
But staie Dissimulation, I my selfe will go with thee
Gentlemen Ile goe before, but pray in any case:
So soone as ye please resorte to my place.

Exeunt, Dissim. & Lucar.

Symo.

I warrant you Ladie, we will not long absent be,

Vsery.

Fellow Symonie this fell out patt, so well as heart could wish,
We are cunning Anglers, we haue caught the fattest fish.
I perceaue it true that her graundmother tould,
Here is good to be done, by vse of siluer and gould:
And sith I am so wel setled in this Countrey,
I wil pinche al, riche and poore that come to me.

Sym.

And sirra when I was at Rome, and dwelt in the Friarie,
They would talk how England yearly sent ouer a great masse of monie:
And chat this little Iland was more worth to the Pope,
Then three bigger Realmes, which had a great deale more scope.
For here were smoke pence, Peter pence, and Pawle pence to be paide,
Besides muche other money that to the Popes vse was made:
Why it is but lately, since the Pope receiued this fine,
Not muche more then 26. yeares, it was in Queene Maries time.
But I thinke England had neuer knowne what this geare had ment,
If Frier Iusten from the Pope had not hither bene sent:
For the Pope hearing it to be a little Iland, sent him with a great
armie ouer.
And winning the victory, hee landed about Rye, Sandwiche
or Douer.
Then he erected Lawes, hauing the people in subiection,
So for the most part, England hath paide tribute so long:
I hearing of the great store, and wealth in the Countrie,
Could not chuse but perswade my selfe the people loued Symonie.

Vsery.

But staie your talke till some other time, we forget my Ladie.

Symo.

Of troth you say true: for she bad vs make haste,
But my talke me thought sauoured well, and had a good taste.

Exeunt ambo.
Enter Mercadore like an Italian Merchant.

Merca.

I iudge in my minde a dat me be not vare farr
From da place where dwels my Lady Lucar:
But he come an shently mane a soe he doe.
Enter Dissimulation.
Shentleman, I praie you heartily let me speake you,
Pray you doe you not know a shentleman dat Maister Dauy doe call?

Dissim.

Yes mary doe I, I am he, and what would you withall?

Merca.

Gooda my frend Maister Dauy, help me I pray you hartily,
For a summa acquaintaunce a with Madona Lucar your Lady:

B.ii. Sir

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Sir upon condition, I will therfore I would you should know,
That on me and my fellowes you must largely bestow:
Whose names are Fraud, Usery, and Symony men of great credite and (calling
And to get my Ladies good will and theirs it is no small thing:
But tell me can you be content to winne Lucar by Dissimulation?

Merca.

A good a my frend doe ara me no shush a question,
For he dat will liue in the world, must be of the world sure,
And de world will loue his own, so long as the world indure.

Enter Lucar.

Dissim.

I commend your wit Sir, but here comes my Lady.

Merca.

Come hither heers to tree Crownes for de speke me.

Dissim.

Well sir I thanke you, I will goe speake for you.

Lucar.

Maister Dauy Dissimulation what new acquaintance haue ye gotte (there,

Dissim.

Such a one Madam that vnto your state hath great care:
And surely in my minde the Gentleman is worthie,
To be well thought on for his liberalitie, bountie, & great care to seek yee.

Lucar.

Gentleman you are hartly welcome, howe are you called, I pray you (tell vs?

Merca.

Madona, me be a Mershant and be cald senior Merkadorus.

Lucar.

But I pray you tell me what Countriman.

Merca.

Me be Madona an Italian.

Lucar.

Yet let me trouble ye, I beseeche ye whence came ye?

Merca.

For sarua voutra boungrace, me come from Turkie.

Lucar.

Gramercie, but senior Mercadore dare you not to vndertake,
Secretlie to conuey good commodities out of this countrey for my sake?

Lucar.

Madona, me doe for loue of you tinck no paine to mush,
And to doe any ting for you me will not grush:
Me will a forsake a my Fader, Moder, King, Countrey & more den dat.
Me will lie and forsweare me selfe for a quarter so much as my hat.
What is dat for loue of Lucar me dare or will not doe:
Me care not for all the world, the great Deuill, nay make my God angry
for you.

Lucar.

You say well Mercadorus, yet Lucar by this is not thorowly wonne,
But geue eare and I will shew, what by thee must be done:
Thou must carry ouer Wheate, Pease, Barly, Oates, and Fitches and
all kinde of graine,
Whiche is well sould beyond sea, and bring suche Merchauntes great
gaine.
Then thou must carie beside Leather, Tallow, Beefe, Bacon, Belmettell
and euery thing.
And for these good commodities, trifles to Englande thou must
bryng.
As Bugles to make bables, coloured bones, glasse, beades, to make brace-
lettes withall:
For euery day Gentlewomen of England doe aske for suche trifles from
stall to stall.
And you must bryng more, as Amber, Ieat, Corall, Christall, and euery
such bable,

That

of the three Ladies of London.

That is slight, prettie and pleasant, they care not to haue it profitable.
And if they demaund wherefore your wares and merchandize agree,
You must say Ieat wil take vp a strawe, Amber will make one fat,
Corrall will looke pale when you be sicck, and Chrstall wil staunch blood.
So with lying, flattering, and glosing you must vtter your ware,
And you shall winne me to your will, if you can deceitfully sweare.

Merca.

Tinke ye not dat me haue carried ouer corne, Ledar, Beefe and Bacon
too all tis while:
And brought hedar many bables dese cuntry men to beguile?
Yes, shall me tell you Madona, me and my cuntrimans haue sent ouer,
bell mettell for make ordinance, yea and ordinance it selfe beside,
Dat my cuntry, and oder cuntreys be so well furnisht as dis cuntry,
and has neuer beene spide.

Lucar.

Now I perceiue you loue me, and if you continue in this still,
You shall not onely be with me, but command me when & where you wil.

Merca.

Lady, for to do all dis, and more for you, me be content:
But I tinke some skall knaue will put a bill in da Parlament.
For dat such a tings shall not be brought here.

Lucar.

Tush Mercadore, I warrant thee, thou needest not to feare:
What and one do: there is same other will flatter and say,
They do no hurt to the cuntry, and with a sleight fetch that bill away.
And if they do not so, that by acte of Perlament it be past,
I know you Merchants haue many a sleight and subtill cast.
So that you will by stealth bring ouer great store:
And say it was in the Realme a long time before.
For beeing so many of these trifles heere as there are at this day,
You may increase them at pleasure when you send ouer sea.
And do but giue the searcher an odde bribe in his hand,
I warrant you he will let you scape roundly with such things in and out (the land
But Senior Mercadore, I pray you walke in with me,
And as I find you kind to me, so wil I fauour ye.

Merca.

Me tanke my good Lady, But M.Master Dissimulation, heere is for your
fellowes, Fraude, Usury, and Symony, and say me giue it dem.

Exeunt Lucar and Mercadore.

Dissim.

I mary Sir, these bribes haue beene,
Good faith I perceiue Dissimulation, Fraud, Usurie, and Symony shall (liue,
In spite of Loue & Conscience, though their harts it doth greeue.
Mas maisters, he that cannot lie, cog, dissemble, and flatter now a daies,
Is not worthie to liue in the world, nor in the Court to haue praise.

¶Enter Artifex an Artificer.

Artifex.

I beseech you good M.Master Dissimulation, befrend a poore man,
To serue Lady Lucar, and sure sir ile consider it hereafter if I can.

Dissim.

What consider me? doest thou thinke that I am a bribe taker?
Faith it lies not in me to further thy matter.

Artifex.

Good M.Master Dissimulation helpe me, I am almost quite vndoone,
But yet my liuing hitherto with good Conscience I haue woonne.
But my true working, my early rising, and my late going to bed,

B.iii. Is

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Is scant able to find my selfe, wife and children drie bread:
For there be such a sort of straungers in this cuntry,
That worke fine to please the eie, though it be deceitfully,
And that which is slight, and seemes to the eie well,
Shall sooner then a peece of good worke be proffered to sell.
And our english men be growne so foolish and nice,
That they will not giue a peny aboue the ordinarie price.

Dissim.

Faith I cannot helpe thee, tis my fellow Fraude must pleasure thee.
Here comes my fellow Fraud, speake to him, and ile do what I can.

¶Enter Fraude.

Artif x.

I beseech you be good vnto me right honest Gentleman.

Fraude.

Why and whereto? What wouldest thou haue me do?

Artifex.

That my poore estate you will so much prefer:
As to get me to be a workman to Lady Lucar.
And Sir I doubt not but to please you so well for your paine,
That you shal thinke very well of me, if I in her seruice remaine.

Dissim.

Good fellow Fraude do so much, for I see he is very willing to liue,
And some peece of worke to thee for thy paines he will giue.

Fraud.

Well vpon that condition I will, but I care not so much for his gifts,
As that he will by my name declare how he came by his great thrifts.
And that he will sette out in euery kind of thing,
That Fraud is a good husband, and great profit doth bring.
Therefore the next peece of worke that thou doest make,
Let me see how deceitfull thou wilt do it for my sake.

Artifex.

Yes sir I will sir, of that be you sure,
Ile honor your name, while life doth endure.

Fraud.

Fellow Fraud, heere comes a Citizen as I deeme.

Fraude.

Nay rather a Lawier, or some petty fogger he doth seeme.

¶Enter a Lawyer.

Lawyer

Gentlemen, my earnest suite is to desire yee,
That vnto your Ladies seruice you would helpe mee:
For I am an Attorney of the Law, and pleeder at the Bar,
And haue a great desire to plead for Ladie Lucar.
I haue beene earnest Sir, as is needfull in such a case,
For feare an other come before me, and obtaine my place.
I haue pleaded for Loue and Conscience till I was wearie,
I had manie Clyants, and manie matters, that made my purse light, and
my hart heauie.
Therefore let them pleade for Conscience that list for me,
Ile plead-no more for such as brings nothing but beggerie.

Dissim.

Sir vpon this condition that you will keepe men in the Law,
Ten or twelue yeeres for matters that are not worth a straw.
And that you will make an ill matter seeme good, and firmable in deede,
Faith I am content for my part you shall speede.

Fraude.

Nay fellow, thou knowest that Symony & Usery hath an ill matter in (law at this time,
Now if thou canst handell the matter so subtil & fine,

of the three Ladies of London.

As to pleade that ill matter good and firmable at the Bar,
Then thou shalt shew thy selfe worthie to win Lady Lucar.
Therefore tell me if you can and will do it or no.
Yf you do it, be sure to get my Ladies good will ere you goe.

Dissim.

By my honestie well remembred, I had quite forgot,
Tis about that, a fortnight ago fell out the matter I wot.

Lawier

Tush Sir, I can make blacke white, and white blacke againe,
Tut he that will qe a Lawyer, must haue a thousand waies to faine.
And manie times we Lawiers do one befreend an other,
And let good matters slip, tut we agree like brother and brother.
Why Sir what shall let vs to wrest and turne the Law as we list?
Seeing we haue them printed in the palmes of our fist.
Therefore doubt you not, but make bold report,
That I came, and wil plead their ill cause in good kind of sort.

Fraude.

Of troth how likest thou this fellow Dissimulation?

Dissim.

Mary I like him wel, he is a cunning Clarke, and one of our professiō.
But come Sir go with vs and we wil prefer you.

Artifex.

Good M.Master Fraud remember me.

Fraude.

Leaue thy prating, I will I tell thee

Artifex.

Good M.Master Dissimulation thinke on m ?

Dissim.

Thou art too importunate and greedie.

Fraude.

Come after dinner, or some other time when we are at leysure.

Dissim Fraud.and Lawyer exeunt.

Artifex.

Come after dinner or some other time, I thinke so indeed,
For full litle do they thinke of a poore mans need.
These fellowes will do nothing for pittie and loue,
And thrise happy are they that hath no need them to proue.
God he knowes the world is growne to such a stay,
That men must vse Fraud and Dissimulation too, or beg by the way.
Therefore ile do as the most doth, the fewest shall laugh me to scorne,
And be a fellow amongst good fellowes to hold S.Saint Lukes horne.

Exit.
¶Enter Simplicitie and Sinceritie.

Sincer.

Good coossen Simplicitie do some what for me?

Sympli.

Yes faith coossen Sinceritie, ile do any thing for thee.
What wouldst for me do for thee canst tell that?
Mas I cannot tell what shouldst do for me, except thou wouldst giue
me a new hat.

Sincer.

Alas I am not able to giue thee a new.

Simpli.

Why I maruell then how thou doest doe.
Doest thou get thy liuing amongst beggars from doore to doore?
Indeed coossen Sinceritie, I had thought thou wast not so poore.

Sincer.

Nay coossen Simplicitie, I got my liuing hardly, but yet I hope iust,
And with good Conscience too, although I am restrained from my lust.
But this is it coossen Simplicite, I would request you to do for me:
Which is, to get Lady Loue and Lady Conscience hand to a letter:
That by their meanes I may get some Benefice to make mee liue the
better.

Simpli.

Yes Ile doe so much for thee coossen, but hast thou any heere?

B.iiii. I

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Sincer.

I, behold, they are ready drawne, if assined they were.

¶Let Simplicitie make as though he read it, and looke quite
ouer, meane while let Conscience enter.

Sympli.

Let me see coossen, for I can reade:
Mas tis brauely doone, didst thou it in deede?
Mistrus Conscience, I haue a matter to bequest you too.

Consci.

What ist? I doubt not but tis some wise thing if it be for you.

Simpli.

Mary my coossen Sinceretie, wad besire to scribe these papers here,
That he may get some preferment, but I know not where.

Consci.

Be these your letters? what would you haue me do, and how shal I cal (yee?

Sincer.

Lady, my name is Sinceritie.

Consci.

And from whence come yee?

Siucer.

I came from Oxford: but in Cambridge I,
Hauing nothing, thought good if I could, to make better my state.
But if I had in steede of Diuinitie, the Lawe, Astronomie, Astrologie,
Phisiognomie, Palmestrie, Arithmetike, Logicke, Musicke, Phisicke, or
any such thing,
I had not doubted then, but to haue had some better liuing.
But Diuines that preach the word of God sincerely and truly,
Are in these dayes litle or nothing at all set by.
God grant the good Preachers be not taken away for our vnthankfulnes,
There was neuer more preaching and lesse following, the people liue so
amiss
But what is he y may not on the saboth day attend to heare Gods word?
But we wil rather runne to bowles, sit at the alehouse, then one houre af-(foord:
Telling a tale of Robin hoode, sitting at Cardes, playing at
kettels, or els some other vaine thing:
That I feare Gods vengeance on our heades it will bring,
God graunt amendment, but Lady Conscience I pray,
In my behalfe vnto Lncar do what ye may.

Simpli.

Mas my coossen can say his booke well, I had not thought it,
Hes worthy to haue a Benefice, and it will hit.

Consci.

God be blessed Sinceritie, for the good comfort I haue of thee:
I would it lay in vs to pleasure such beleeue me.
We will do what we can: But vltra posse non est esse, you know,
It is Lucar that hath brought vs poore soules so low.
For we haue sould our house, we are brought so poore:
And feare by her shortly to be shut out of doore.
Yet to subscribe our name we will with all our hart,
Perchaunce for our sakes some thing she will impart.
Come hither Simplicitie, let me write on thy backe.

Simpli.

Here is the right picture of that fellow that sits in the corner.

¶Enter Hospitalitie while she is a writing.

Hospi.

Lady, me thinkes you are busie.

Consci.

I haue done sir, I was setting my hand to a letter to Lucar for our

frand

of the three Ladies of London.

freend Sinceritie.
But I would Ladie Loue were heere too.

Hospi.

She is at home with me, but if you please so much in her behalf I wil (doo.

Consci.

I praye hartily, and it shall suffise the turne well inow:
Good Simplicitie, once more thy bodie do bow.

Simpli.

I thinke I shall serue to be a washing blocke for you.
I would do it for you, but I am afraid yonder boy will mocke me.

Hospi.

No I warrant thee.

Consci.

Here take thy letters Sinceritie, and I wish them prosperous to thee.

Sincer.

I yeeld you most hartie thanks my good Ladie.

Hospi.

Ladie Conscience, pleaseth it you to walke home to dinner with me?

Cons.

I geue you thankes my good freend Hospitalitie.
But I pray you sir, haue you inuited to dinner any straunger?

Hospi.

No sure, none but Lady Loue, and 3. or 4. honest neighbors.

Simpli.

Mas my Ladie is gotten to dinner alreadie,
I beleeue she rose at ten a clocke she is so hungrie.
What and I should come to dinner, hast thou anie good cheere?

Hospi.

I haue bread and beare, one ioint of meat, and welcome thy best fare.

Simpli.

Why, art thou called Hospitalitie, and hast no better cheare then that?
Ile tell thee, if thou hast no more meat for so manie, theile nere be fat.
What if my coossen nay I my selfe alone, to dinner should come?
Where should my Lady and the rest dine? for I could eate vp euery croom,
Thou art an olde miser, doest thou keepe no better fare in thy house?
Hast no greate Bagge Pudding, nor Hogges face, that is caled
Sowse?

Hospi.

My freende, Hospitalitie doth not consiste in great fare and banqueting,
But in dooing good vnto the Poore, and to yeelde them some refreshing,
Therefore if thou and Sinceritie will come and take part,
Such as I haue Ile giue you with a free and willing hart.

Exeunt Hospitalitie and Conscience.

Simpli.

He speakes well coossen, lets go to dinner with him.
The olde man shall not thinke but we will pleasure him.
Faith he might haue richer fellowes, then we to take his part,
But he shall neuer haue better eating fellowes if hee woulde swelte his
hart.
Here be them will eate with the proudest of them.
I am sure my mother said I could eate so much as fiue men.
Nay I haue a gift for eating I tell yee.
For our Maides would neuer beleeue I put all the meate in my bellie,
But I haue spide a knaue, my Ladie Lucars cogging man,
Geue me your letters coossen, ile prefar ye if I can.

¶Enter Dissimulation.

Sincer.

Dissimulation, out vpon him, he shall be no spokeman for me.

Sympli.

Why then you are a foole coossen Sinceritie,
Geue me am, I tell ye, I know hele do it for me.

C. Seeing

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Sinceri.

Seeing thou wilt haue it, heere receiue it, but yet it greeues my hart,
That this dissembling wretch should speaks on my part.

Simpli.

Heare ye sir, I would bequest to liuer this letter,
To your good wholesome mistris Ladie Lucar.

Dissim.

Where hadst thou it tell me?

Simpli.

Marie of my coossen Sinceritie.

Dissim.

Why I haue nothing to do in it, tis not to me thou shouldst come,
I haue not to doe with Sincerities matters, tis my fellowe Symonies
roome.

Sinceri.

Thou art a kinne to the Lawyer, thou wilt doo nothing without a fee,
But thou, Fraude, Usurie, nor yet Symonie, shall doe nothing for me.
And thou wilt do it do it, and thou wilt not chuse,
Both thee and their dealing I hate and refuse.

Dissim.

Why, and I am not bound to thee so farre as knaue goe,
And therefore in despite of thee and thy coossen there thy letters be.
What, thinkest thou by captious words to make me doo it?
Let them deliuer your Letters that hath a stomacke to it.

Simpli.

Faith coossen hes such a testren and proud sembling knaue,
That hele do nothing les some briberie he haue.
Thers a great many such promoting knaues, that gets their liuing,
With nothing els but facing, lying, swearing, and flattering.
Why hee has a face like a blacke Dogge, and blusheth like the backe side
of a chimney,
Twas not for nothing thy Godfathers a cogging name gaue thee.
¶Enter Ladie Lucar.
But heere comes his Mistrisse Ladie Lucar,
Now coossen Ile liuer your letter.
Mistrisse Lady Lucar heeres a letter for yee.

Lucar.

Hast thou a letter for me?

Simpli.

I by Saint Marie.
How say you coossen, she reades your letter?
And you can flatter perhaps ye shall speede better.

Sinceri.

Thou speakest the truth Simplicitie, for flatterers nowe a daies,
Liue Gentlemen-like, and with prating get praise.

Lucar.

Sir, I haue read the tenure of your letter, wherein I finde,
That at the request of Loue and Conscience I should shew my self kind
In bestowing some spirituall liuing on ye, parsonage, or Benefice,
It seemes it stands greatly in neede, as appeeres by this.
And trust me I would do for you, but it lies not in mee,
For I haue referred all such matters to my seruant Symonie.
You must speake to him, and if you can get his good will,
Then be sure of mine, their minds to fulfill.

Since.

Ladie, I shall neuer get his good will, because I want abilitie,
For he will do nothing except I bring monie.
And if you graunt it not, then tis past all doubt,
I shall be neuer the better, but go quite without.

Dissim.

Madam, I can tell what you may giue,

Not

of the three Ladies of London.

Not hurting your selfe whereby he may liue.
And without my fellowe Symonies consent,
If to followe my minde you are anie whit bent.

Lucar.

Pray thee what is it? for thou knowest while for their house I am in
bargaining,
And it be neuer so little, I must seeme to do some thing.

Dissim.

Why, haue not you the parsonage of S.Saint Nihil to bestowe?
If you giue him that, Symonie shall neuer knowe.

Lucar.

Indeed thou saiest true: Drawe neere Sinceritie,
Loe, for their sakes I will bestowe frankly on thee.
Ile giue thee the Parsonage of S.Saint Nihil, to pleasure them withall,
And such an other to it, if thou watch till it fall.

Simpli.

My Ladie axes you when you will take possession of your house, and
lend the rest of the money.

Lucar.

What are they so hastie? belike they spent it merily.

Simpli.

Faith no, for they would eate it if they could get it, when they are a
hungrie.
But you may be happie, for you haue sped well to day, (speaking to
Sinceritie.
You may thanke God and good companie that you came this way.
The Parsonage of S.Saint Michels, bir Ladie if you haue nothing els,
You shall be sure of a liuing, beside a good ring of Bels.
Coossen ile tel thee what thou shalt do, sell the bels, and make monie.

Sincer.

Thou maiest well be Simplicitie, for thou shewest thy follie.
I haue a Parsonage, but what? of S.Saint Nihil, and Nihil is nothing,
Then where is the Church, or any Belles for to ring?
Thou vnderstandest her not, she was set for to flout,
I thought comming in their names I should go without.
Tis easie to see that Lucar loues not Loue and Conscience:
But God I trust will one day yeeld her iust recompence.

Sympli.

Coossen, you saide that some thing to me you would giue,
When you had gotten preferment of Lucar to liue:
And I trust you will remember your poore coossen Simplicitie,
You know to Lady Conscience and ery bodie I did speake for you.

Sinceri.

Good Simplicitie holde thy peace, my state is yet naught,
I will helpe thee sure, if euer I get ought.
But heere comes Sir Nicholas Nemo, to him I will go,
And see if for their sakes he will any thing bestow.

¶Enter Sir Nicholas Nemo.

Nemo.

You come from Loue and Conscience, as seemeth me heere,
My speciall good freends, whome I account of most deere.
And you are called Sinceritie your state shewes the same:
You are welcome to me for their sakes, and for your owne name.
And for their sakes you shall see what I will do for you,
Without Dissimulation, Fraude, Usurie, or Symonie:
For they will do nothing without some kind of gaine,
Such cankered corruption in their harts doth remaine.
But come in to dinner with me, and when you haue dinde,

C.ii you

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

you shall haue.

Presently go out.

Sinceri.

You shall haue, but what? a liuing that is blowne downe with the
winde.

Simpli.

Now coossen dismember your freends, seeing two liuings you haue.
One that this man promist, and an other that Lady Lucar gaue.
Mad youl be a iolly man, and you had three or foure more,
Lets beg apace coossen and we shall get great store.
Do thou get some more letters, and ile get them scribed of Mistris Loue
and Conscience,
And wele go beg liuings togither, wele beg no small pence.
How saiest thou coossen Sinceritie, wut do so mich,
If we can speake faire and semble, we shalbe plaguie rich.

Sinceri.

Good Simplicitie content thee, I am neuer the better for this,
I must of force leaue off, for I see how vaine it is.
It bootes not Sinceritie to sue for releefe,
So few regard that to me is a greefe.
This was Nicholas Nemo, and no man hath no place,
Then how can I speede well in this heauie case.
If no man bid me to dinner, when shall I dine?
Or how shall I finde him, where, when, and at what time?
Wherefore the reliefe I haue had, and shall haue, is small,
But to speake truth, the reliefe is nothing at all.
But come Simplicitie, let vs go see what may bee had,
Sinceritie in these daies was sure borne to be sad.

Simpli.

Come lets go to dinner coossen, for the Gentleman I think hath almost
dinde.
But and I get vittals enough, I warrant you I will not be behinde.

Since.

What if thou canst not get it, then how wilt thou eate?

Simpli.

Mary on this fashion, with both handes at once, ye shall see when I get
meate.

Sinceri.

Why his name was Nemo, and Nemo hath no being.

Simpli.

I beleeue coossen you be not hungrie, that you stand prating.
Faith ile go do him a pleasure, because he hath neede,
Why and he will needes haue his meate eate, a shall see how ile feede.
I beleeue he will not bid me come againe to him,
Mas and he do, a shall find a fellow that has his eating.

Exeunt ambo.
Enter Vsury and Conscience.

Vsury.

Lady Conscience, is thereany bodie within your house can you tell?

Consci.

There is no bodie at all be ye sure, I know certainly well.

Vsury.

You know when one comes to take possession of anie peece of Land,
There must not bee one within, for against the order of Lawe it doth
stand.
Therefore I thought good to aske you, but I praye you thinke not
amisse:
For bothe you, and almost all others knowes, that an olde custome
it is.

You

of the three Ladies of London.

Consci.

You say truth, take possession when you please, good leaue I rnder ye,
Doubt you not, there is neither man, woman nor childe, that will or
shall hinder you.

Vsery.

Why then I will be bould to enter.

Exit.

Consci.

Who is more bould then Usery to venter?
He maketh the matter daungerous where is no neede at all,
But he thinkes it not perillous to seeke euerie mans fall:
Both he and Lucar hath so pincht vs, we know not what to doe,
Were it not for Hospitalitie, we knewe not whither to goe.
Great is the miserie that we poore Ladies abide,
And much more is the crueltie of Lucar and Userie beside.
O Conscience thou art not accompted of, O Loue thou art little set by,
For almost euery one, true loue, and pure conscience doth deny:
So hath Lucar crept into the bosome of man, woman, and childe,
That euery one doth practise his deare friend to beguile.
But God graunt Hospitalitie be not by them ouer prest,
In whome all our staie and chiefest comfort doth rest:
But Usery hates Hospitalitie, and cannot him abide,
Because he for the poore and comfortlesse doth prouide.
Here he comes, that hath vndone many an honest man,
And daily seekes to destroy, deface, and bring to ruine if he can.
Now sir, haue you taken possession as your deare Lady wild you?

Enter Vsurie.

Vsery.

I haue done it, and I thinke you haue receaued your money,
But this to you: my Lady wild me to bid you prouide some other house
out of hand.
For she would not by her will, haue Loue and Conscience to dwell in
her land.
Therefore I would wish you to prouide ye,
So ye should saue charges, for a lesse house may serue.

Consci.

I pray you hartily let vs staie there, and we wil be content
To geue you ten pound a yeare, which is the olde rent.

Vsery.

Tenne pound a yeare, that were a stale ieast:
If I should take the olde rent to follow your request,
Nay after fortie pounde a yeare, you shall haue it for a quarter:
And you may thinke too, I greatly befriend ye in this matter:
But no longer then for a quarter to you ile set it,
For perhaps my Ladie shall sell it, or els to some other will let it?

Consci.

Well, sith we are driuen to this hard and bitter drift,
We accept, it and are contented to make bare and hard shift.

Vsurie.

Then get you gone, and see at a day your rent be readie.

Consci.

We must haue pacience perforce seeing there is no remedie.

Exit Conscience.

Vsery.

What a foole was I, it repentes me I haue let it so reasonable,
I might so well haue had after threescore, as suche a trifle:

For

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

For seeing they were distressed, they would haue geuen largely.
I was a right sot, but ile be ouerseene no more beleue me.

Enter Mercadore.

Merca.

Ah my good a friend a maister Userie, be my trot you be bery well
mette:
Me be muche behoulding vnto you for your good will, me be in your
debt.
But a me take a your part so much against a scalde olde chirle called
Hospitalitie:
Did speake against you, and sayes you bring good honest men to beg-
gerie.

Vsury.

I thanke Sir, did he speake suche euill of me as you now say?
I doubt not but to reward him for his trecherie one day.

Merca.

But I pray tell a me how fare a my Ladie all dis while?

Vsury.

Marie verie Sir, and here she comes if my selfe I do not beguile.

Enter Lucar.

Lucar.

What seneor Mercadore I haue not seene you many a day,
I maruel what is the cause you kept so lonh a way?

Merca.

Shall me say to you Madama dat me haue had much businesse for you
in hand,
For send away good commodities out of dis little Countrey Eng-
land:
Me haue nowe sent ouer Brasse, Copper, Pewter, and many odar
ting:
And for dat me shall ha for Gentlewomans fine trifles, that great pro-
fite will bring.

Lucar.

I perceaue you haue bene mindefull of me for whiche I thanke
yee:
But Userie tell me, how haue you spedde in that you went about?

Vsery.

Indifferently Lady; you neede not to doubt,
I haue taken possession, and because they were destitute:
I haue leat it for a quarter my tale to conclude.
Marry I haue a little raised the rent, but it is but after forty pound by
the yeare:
But if it were to let now, I would let it more deare.

Lucar.

Indeede tis but a trifle, it makes no matter,
I force it not greatly, being but for a quarter.

Merca.

Madona me tell yet vat you shall doe, let dem to straunger dat are
content
To dwell in a little roome, and to pay muche rent:
For you know da french mans and fleminges in dis countrey be many,
So dat they make shift to dwell ten houses in one very gladly:
And be content & for pay fiftie or three score pound a yeare,
For dat whiche da English mans say twenty marke is to deare.

Lucar.

Why senior Mercadore thinke you not that I

Haue

of the three Ladies of London.

Haue infinite numbers in London that my want doth supply.
Beside in Bristow, Northhampton, Norwich, Weschester, Caunterbury,
Douer, Sandwich, Rie, Porchmouth, Plimmoth, and many moe,
That great rentes vpon little roome doe bestow.
Yes I warrant you, and truely I may thanke the straungers for this,
That they haue made houses so deare, whereby I liue in blisse.
But senior Mercadore, dare you to trauell vndertake:
And goe amongest the Moores, Turkes, and Pagans for my sake?

Merca.

Madona, me dare a goe to de Turkes, Moores, Paganes and
more too.
What doe me care and me goe to da great deuill for you-
Commaund a me Maddam, and you shall see plaine,
Data for your sake me refuse a no paine.

Lucar.

Then senior Mercadore I am forthwith to send ye
From hence, to search for some new toyes in Barbary or Turky,
Such trifles as you thinke will please wantons best:
For you know in this Countrey tis their chiefest request.

Merca.

Indeede de Gentlewomans here buy so much vaine toyes,
Dat me straungers laugh a to tinke wherein day haue their Ioyes:
Fayt Madona me will searche all da straunge countreys me can tell,
But me will haue such tinges dat please dese Gentlewomans vell.

Lucar.

Why then let vs prouide thinges readie to haste you away.

Merca.

A voutro commaundamento Madona me obay.

Exeunt.
Enter Symony and Peter please man like a Parson.

Symo.

Now proceede with your tale and ile heare thee.

Peter.

And so sir as I was about to tell you:
This same Presco, and this same Cracko be both my parishioners nowe,
And sir they fell out meruailously together about you:
The same Cracko tooke your part, and said that the Clergie
Was vpholden by you and maintained very worshipfully:
So sir, Presco he woulde not graunt that in no case,
But said that you did corrupt the clergy, and dishonor that holy place.
Now sir I was wearie to heare them at such great strife,
For I loue to please men so long as I haue life:
Therefore I beseeche your maistership to speake to Lady Lucar,
That I may be her Chaplin, or els to serue her.

Sym.

What is your name?

Peter.

Sir Peter.

Symo.

What more?

Peter.

Forsooth Pleaseman.

Symo.

Then your name is sir Peter Pleaseman.

Peter.

I forsooth.

Symo.

And please woman too now and then.

Peter.

You know that homo is indifferent.

Symo.

Now surely a good scholler in my iudgement.
I pray at what Uniuersitie were ye?

Peter.

Of no Uniuersitie truely:

C.iiii. Mary

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Mary I haue gone to schoole in a Colledge, where I haue studied
two or a three places of Diuinitie:
And all for Lady Lucars sake, sir you may steadfastly beleue me.

Symo.

Nay I beleue ye, but of what religion are you can ye tell?

Peter.

Mary sir of all religions, I know not my selfe very well.

Sym.

You are a Protestant now, and I thinke to that you will graunt.

Peter.

Indeede I haue bene a Catholicke, mary nowe for the most part a
Protestant.
But and if my seruice may please her, harke in your care sir,
I warrant you my Religion shall not offend her.

Symo.

You say well, but if I helpe you to suche great prefarment,
Would you be willing, that for my paine I shall haue yearely hale the
gaine.
For it is reason you know, that if I help you to a liuing,
That you should vnto me be somewhat beholding.

Peter.

I sir and reason good, Ile be as your maistership please.
I care not what you doe, so I may liue at ease.

Symo.

Then this man is aunswered: Sir Peter pleaseman, come in
with me.
And ile preferre ye straight way to my Ladie.

Peter.

Oh Sir I thanke ye.

Exeunt.
Enter Simplicitie, with a basket on his Arme.

Simpli.

You thinke I am going to market to buy rost meat, do ye not?
I thought so, but you are beceiued: for I wot what I wot.
I am neither going to the Butchers to buy Ueale, Mutton, or Beefe,
But I am going to a bloudsucker, and who is it? faith Userie that
theefe.
Why sirs, twas no marckle he vndood my father that was called
plaine dealing.
When he has vndone my Lady and Conscience too with his vsering.
Ile tell ye sirs, trust him not, for hele flatter bonacion and sore,
Till he has gotten the Bakers vantage, then hele turne you out of doore.

Enter Dissimulation.

Dissim.

Simplicitie, now of my honestie very heartily well met.

Simpli.

What Semblacion sweare not, for thou swearest by that thou couldst
not get.
Thou haue honestie now? thy honestie is quite gone:
Mary thou hadst honestie at xi.eleven of the clock, and went from thee at noone:
Why how canst thou haue honestie, when it dare not come nye thee?
I warrant Semlacion: hee that has lesse honestie then thou may defie
thee:
Thou hast honestie sirreuerence, come out dogge, where art thou?
Euen as must honestie as had my mothers great hoggish sow:
No faith thou mast put out my eye with honestie, and thou hadst it here,
Hast not left it at the Alehouse, in gage for a pot of strong beere?

Pray

of the three Ladies of London.

Dissim.

Pray thee leaue prating Simplicitie, and tell me what thou hast there?

Simpi.

Why, tis nothing for thee, thou doest not deale with such kind of ware.
Sirra there is no beceite in a bagge pudding, is there? nor in a plaine
pudding thy:
But there is beceite and knauerie too in thy fellowe that is called Userie.
Sirra Ile tell thee, I wonnot tell thee,, and yet Ile tell thee, nowe I
member me too:
Canst tell, or wouldst thou knowe whither with this parlament I go?
Faith euen to suckswill thy fe low Usury I am sent,
With my Ladie Loues gowne, and Lady Conscience too, for a quarters
rent.

Dissim.

Alas poore Ladie Loue, art thou driuen so lowe?
Some little pittance on thee Ile bestowe.
Holde Simplicitie, carrie her three or foure Duckats from me,
And commend me to her euen verie hartily.

Sympli.

Ducke egges, yes Ile carrie am, and twere as many as this woulde
holde:

Dissim.

Tush thou knowest not what I meane, take this, tis golde.

Simpli.

Mas tis golde indeede, why, wilt sende awaie thy golde, hast no more
neede?
I thinke thou art growne plaguie rich with thy dissembling trade,
But ile carrie my Lady the golde, for this will make her well apaide.

Dissim.

And sirra, carrie Lady Loues gowne backe againe, for my fellowe
Usurie
Shall not haue her gowne, I am sure so much he will befreend mee.

Simpli.

But what shall Conscience gowne doo, shall I carrie that backe againe (too?

Dissim.

Nay, let Conscience gowne and skin to Usurie go.
If no body cared for Conscience more then I,
They would hang her vp like Bacon in a chimney to drie.

Simpli.

Faith I told thee thou caredst not for Conscience nor honestie:
I thinke in deede it will neuer be the death of thee.
But Ile go conspatch my arrant so soone as I can I tell ye,
For now I ha gold, I would faine haue some good meat in my bellie.

Exit.

Dissim.

Nay Ile hie me after, that I may send backe Ladie Loues gowne,
For I would not haue Loue bought quite out of towne.
Mary for Conscience tut, I care not twoo strawes,
Why I should take care for her, I know no kind of cause.

E xit.
¶Enter Hospitalitie.

Hospi.

Oh what shall I say? Usurie hath vndone me, and nowe he hates mee
to the death,
And seekes by all meanes possible for to bereaue me of breath.
I cannot rest in anie place, but he hunts and followes me euerie where,
That I know no place to abide, I liue so much in feare.
But out alas, here comes he that will shorten my daies.

¶Enter Vsurie. D. O haue

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Vsurie.

O haue I caught your olde gray bearde, you be the man whome the
people so praise:
You are a franke Gentleman, and full of liberalitie,
Why, who had al the praise in London or England, but M.Master Hospitalitie?
But Ile Maister you nowe Ile holde you a groat.

Hospi.

What will you kill me?

Vsery.

No, Ile do nothing but cut thy throat.

Hospi.

O helpe, helpe, helpe, for Gods sake.

¶Enter Conscience running apace

Consci.

What lamentable crie was that I heard one make?

Hospi.

O Ladie Conscience, now or neuer helpe me.

Consci.

Why, what wilt thou do with him Usurie?

Vsery.

What will I do with him? mary cut his throat, and then no more.

Consci.

O doest thou not consider that thou shalt deerely answere for Hospi-
talitie that good member, refraine it therefore.

Vsery.

Refraine me no refraining, nor answere mee no answering,
The matter is answered well enough in this thing.

Consci.

For Gods sake spare him, for cuntry sake spare him, for pitie sake spare
him, for Loue sake spare him, for Conscience sake forbeare him.

Vsury.

Let cuntry, pittie, Loue, Conscience, and all go in respect of my selfe,
He shalt die, come ye feeble wretch, Ile dresse ye like an elfe.

Consci.

But yet Usurie, consider the lamentable crie of the poore,
For lacke of Hospitalitie, fatherles children are turned out of doore.
Consider againe the complaint of the sicke, blind and lame,
That will crie vnto the Lorde for vengeance on thy head in his name.
Is the feare of God so farre from thee that thou hast no feeling at all?
O repent Usurie, leaue Hospitalitie, and for mercie at the Lordes hande
call.

Vsury.

Leaue prating Conscience, thou canst not mollifie my hart,
He shall in spite of thee and all other feele his deadly smart.
Yet Ile not commit the murder openly,
But hale the villaine into a corner, and so kill him secretly.
Come ye miserable drudge, and receiue thy death.

Hale him in.

Hospi.

Helpe good Ladie, helpe, he will stop my breath.

Consci.

Alas I would help thee, but I haue not the power.

Hospi.

Farewell Ladie Conscience, you shall haue Hospitalitie in London nor
England no more.

Consci.

O helpe, helpe, helpe, some good bodie.

¶Enter Dissimulation and Simplicitie hastily.

Dissim.

Who is that that calles for helpe so hastily?

Consci.

Out alas thy fellowe Usurie hath killed Hospitalitie.

Simpli.

Now Gods blessing on his hart, why twas time that he was dead,
He was an olde churle, with neuer a good tooth in his head.
And he nere kept no good cheere that I could see:

For

of the three Ladies of London.

For if one had not come at dinner time, hee shoulde haue gone away
hungrie.
I could neuer get my bellie full of meate.
He had nothing but beefe, bread, and cheese for me to eate.
Nowe I would haue had some Pyes, or bagge puddings with great
lumpes of fat:
But I warrant ye he did keepe my mouth well enough from that.
Faith and he be dead he is deade, let him go to the deuill, and he will,
Or if he will not go thither, let him euen lie there still.
Ile nere make wamentation for an olde churlde,
For hee has beene a great while, and nowe tis time that he were out of
the worlde.

Enter Lucar.

Lucar.

What Conscience, thou lookest like a poore pidgeon puld of late.

Consci.

What Lucar, thou lookest like a whore full of deadly hate.

Lucar.

Alas Conscience I am sorie for thee, but I cannot weepe.

Consci.

Alas Lucar I am sorie for thee, that thou canst no honestie keepe.
But such as thou art, such are thy attenders on thee,
As appeares by thy seruaunt Usurie, that hath killed that good member
Hospitalitie.

Simpli.

Faith Hospitalitie is killed, and hath made his will,
And hath giuen Dissimulation three trees vpon an high hill.

Lucar.

Come hither Dissimulation, and hie you hence so fast as you may,
And helpe thy fellowe Usurie to conuay himselfe out of the way.
Further, will the Iustices, if they chaunce to see him, not to know him,
Or knowe him, not by any meanes to hinder him.
And they shall commaund thrise so much at my hand,
Go trudge, runne out away, how doest thou stand?

Dissim.

Nay good Lady, sende my fellowe Symonie,
For I haue an earnest suite to yee.

Lucar.

Then Symony go do what I haue wild.

Symo.

I runne Madam, your mind shall be fulfild.

exit.

Cons.

Well well Lucar, Audeo, et taceo, I see and say nothing:
But I feare the plague of God on thy head it will bring.

Dissim.

Good Ladie graunt that Loue be your waiting Maide,
For I thinke beeing brought so lowe, she will be well apaide.

Lucar.

Speakest thou in good earnest, or doest thou but dissemble?
I knowe not how to haue thee thou art so variable.

Dissim.

Ladie, though my name bee Dissimulation, yet I speake bona fide
nowe,
If it please you my petitions to allowe.

Enter Symony.

Lucar.

Stand by, Ile answere thee anon. What newes Symonie,
Bringest thou of thy fellowe Usurie?

Symo.

Mary Madam good newes: for Usurie lies close

D.ii. Hid

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Hid in a rich mans house, that will not let him loose,
Untill they see the matter brought to a good ende,
For Usurie in this cuntrie hath many a good freende.
And late I sawe Hospitalitie carried to burying.

Lucar.

I pray thee tell mee, who were they that followed him?

Symo.

There were many of the Cleargie, and many of the Nobilitie,
And many right worshipfull rich Citizens,
Substantiall, gracious, and verie welthie Farmars.
But to see how the poore followed him it was a woonder,
Neuer yet at any buryall I haue seene such a number.

Lucar.

But what say the people of the murder?

Sym.

Many are sorie and say tis great pitie that he was slaine,
But who be they? the poore beggarly people that so complaine:
As for the other, they say twas a cruell bloodie fact,
But I perceiue none will hinder the murderer for this cruell act.

Lucar.

Tis well, I am glad of it, nowe Dissimulation if you can get Loues
good will,
I am contented withall my hart to graunt there vntill.

Dissim.

I thanke you good Ladie, and I doubt not but she
With a little intreatie will thereto agree.

Simpli.

Nowe I haue it in my breeches, for I can tell,
That I and my Ladie with mistrisse Lucar shall dwell.
But if I be her seruing fellowe, and dwell there,
I must learne to cog, lie, foist and sweare.
And sure I shall neuer learne, marie and twere to lie a bed all day,
I know to that kind of liuing I can giue a good say.
Or if twere to eate ones meate, then I knew what I had to do:
How say ye sirra, can I not, ile be drudge by you?

Lucar.

Now to you little mouse, did I not tell you before,
That I should ere twere long turne you both out of doore?
How say you pretie soule, ist come to passe, yea or no?
I thinke I haue puld your peacockes plumes somewhat lowe.
And yet you be so stout as though you felt no griefe,
But I know ere it be long you will come puling to me for reliefe.

Consci.

Well Lucar well, you know pride will haue a fall:
What auauntageth it thee to win the world, and lose thy soule withall?
Yet better it is to liue with litle, and keepe a conscience cleare,
Which is to God a Sacrifice, and accounted of most deare.

Lucar.

Nay Conscience, and you be bookish I meane to leaue ye,
And the cold ground to comfort your feet I bequeath ye.
Me thinke you beeing so deepely learned, may do well to keepe a schoole,
Why, I haue seene so cunning a Clarke in time to proue a foole.

Exeunt Lucar and Symony.

Simpli.

Sirra, if thou shouldst marry my Lady thou wouldst keepe her braue,
For I thinke now thou art a plaguie rich knaue.

Dissim.

Rich I am, but as for knaue keepe to thy selfe,
Come giue me my Ladies gowne thou asse headed elfe.

Simpli.

Why ile go with thee, for I must dwell with my Ladie.

Dissim.

Packe hence away, Jacke Drums intertainement, she will none

of the three Ladies of London.

of thee.

Exit.

Simpli.

This is as my coossen and I went to M.Master Nemos house,
There was no bodie to bid a dog drinke, or to chaunge a man a louse.
But Ladie Conscience (nay whoe there) scratch that name away,
Is she a Lady that is turned out of all her beray?
Do not be cald no more Ladie, and if you be wise,
For euerie bodie will mocke you, and say you be not woorth twoo
butter flies.

Consci.

What remedie Simplicitie? I cannot do withall.
But what shall we go do, or whereto shall we fall?

Simpli.

Why to our vittailes, I know nothing els we haue to do,
And marke if I cannot eate twentie times as much as you.

Consci.

If I go lie in an Inne, I shall be sore greeued to see,
The deceit of the Ostler, the powling of the Tapster, as in most houses
of lodging they be.
If in a Brewers house, at the ouer plentie of water, and scarcenes of
mault I should greeue,
Whereby to enrich themselues, all other with vnsauorie thinne drinke
they deceiue.
If in a Tanners house, with his great deceit in tanning,
If in a Weauers house, with his great coosening in weauing.
If in a Bakers house, with light bread, and very euill woorking:
If in a Chaundlers, with deceitfull waights, false measures, selling for
a halfepeny that is scant worth a farthing.
And if in an Alehouse, with the great resort of poore vnthriftes,
that with swearing at the Cardes consume their liues
Hauing greater delight to spend a shilling that way,
then a groat at home to sustaine their needie children and wiues.
For which I iudge it best for me to get some solitarie place,
Where I may with patience this my heauie crosse embrace.
And learne to seeke brome, whereby to get my liuing,
Using that as a quiet meane to keepe my selfe from begging.
Wherefore Simplicitie if thou wilt do the like,
Settle thy selfe to it, and with true labour thy liuing do seeke.

Exit Conscience.

Simpli

No faith mistars Conscience, Ile not, for and I should seeke broome,
The Maides would coossen me to competually with their olde shoone.
And too I cannot worke, and you would hang mee out of the way,
For when I was a miller, Will did grind the meale while I did play.
Therefore Ile haue as easie an occupation as I had when my Father
was aliue,
Faith Ile go euen a begging, why tis a good trade, a man shall bee sure to
thriue.
For I am sure my prayers will get bread and cheese, and my singing will
get me drinke,
Then shall not I doe better then Mistars Conscience? tell mee as you
thinke.
Therefore God Panne in the kitchin, and God Potte in the butterie,
Come and resist me, that I may sing with the more meliositie.

D.iii. But

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

But sirs marke my cauled countenaunce when I begin,
But yonder is a fellow that gapes to bite me or els to eate that which I
sing.
Why thou art a foole canst not thou keepe thy mouth strait together?
And when it comes snap at it as my fathers dogge wod doe at a liuer.
But thou art so greedie,
That thou thinkest to eate it before it come nye thee.
Simplicitie singes.
Simplicitie singes it, and sperience doth proue,
No biding in London for Conscience and Loue.
The Countrey hath no peare,
where Conscience comes not once a yeare:
And Loue so welcome to euery towne,
as winde that blowes the honses downe.
Sing downe adowne, downe, downe, downe.
Simplicitie singes it and sperience doth proue,
No dwelling in London, no biding in London for Conscience and Loue.

Simpli.

Now sirra hast eaten vp my song? and ye haue ye shall eate no more
to day,
For euery body may see your belly is growne bigger with eating vp our
play:
He has fild his belly, bat I am neuer a whit the better,
Therefore ile go seeke some vittailes, and member for eating vp my song
you shall be my debter.

Enter Mercadorus the Merchaunt and Gerontus a Iewe.

Geron.

But senior Mercadorus tell me, did ye serue me well or no?
That hauing gotten my money would seeme the countrey to forgoe:
You know I lent you two thousand duckets for three monthes space,
And care the time came you got an other thousand by flatterie and your
smooth face.
So when the time came that I should haue receaued my money,
You were not to be found but was fled out of the countrey:
Surely if we that be Jewes should deale so one with an other,
We should not be trusted againe of our owne brother:
But many of you Christians make no conscience to falsifie your fayth and
breake your day.
I should haue bene paide at the monthes end, and now it is two yeare
you haue bene away.
Well I am glad you be come againe to Turky, now I trust I shall re-
ceiue the interest of you so well as the principall.

Merca.

A good a maister Geronto pra hartly bare a me a little while,
And me shall pay ye all without any deceite or guile:
Me haue a much businesse for by prety knackes to send to England,
Good a sir bare a me foure or fiue daies, mele dispatch your money out of
hand.

Senior

of the three Ladies of London.

Geron.

Senior Me rcadore, I know no reason why because you haue dealt
with me so ill,
Sure you did it not for neede, but of set purpose and will:
And I tell ye to beare with ye foure or fiue dayes goes sore against my
minde,
Least you should steale away and forget to leaue my money behinde.

Merca.

Pra hartly doe tink a no such ting my good friend a me,
Be me trot and sayt mele pay you all euery peny.

Geron.

Well Ile take your faith and troth once more, ile trust to your honesty
In hope that for my long tarying you will deale well with me:
Tell me what ware you would buy for England, such necessaries
as they lacke.

Merca.

O no lack some prettie fine toy or some fantastike new knack,
For da Gentlewomans in England buy much tinges for fantasie:
You pleasure a me sir what me meane a dare buy.

Geron.

I vnderstand you sir, but keepe tutch with me, and ile bring you to
great store,
Such as I perceaue you came to this countrey for:
As Muske, Amber, sweete Powders, fine Oders, pleasaunt perfumes,
and many such toys:
Wherein I perceaue consisteth that country gentlewomans Ioyes.
Besides I haue Diamondes, Rubyes, Emerodes, Safiors, Smara-
dines, Opalies, Onacles, Iasinkes, Aggattes, Turkasir, and almost of
all kinde of precious stones:
And many moe fit thinges to sucke away mony from such greene headed
wantons.

Merca.

Fatta my good frend me tanke you most hartly alway,
Me shall a content your debt within dis two or tree day.

Geron.

Well looke you doe keepe your promise, and an other time you shall
commaund me:
Come, goe we home where our commodities you may at pleasure see.

Enter Conscience with broomes at her back sing-
ing as followeth.

New broomes, greene broomes, will you by any,
Come maydens, come quickly, let me take a peny.
My broomes are not steeped,
but very well bound:
My broomes be not crooked,
but smooth cut and round.
I wish it should please you,
to buy of my broome:
Then would it well ease me,
if market were done.
Haue you any olde bootes,
or any olde shoone:
Powch-ringes or Buskins,
to cope for new broome.
If so you haue maydens,
I pray you bring hether:
That you and I frendly,
may bargen together.
New broomes, greene broomes, will you buy any:
Come Maydens, come quickly, let me take a peny.

Consci.

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Conscience speaketh.
Thus am I driuen to make a vertue of necessitie
And seeing God almightie will haue it so, I imbrace it thankfully:
Desiring God to mollefie and lesten Useries hard heart,
That the poore people, feele not the like penurie and smart:
But Userie is made tollerable amongst Christians as a necessary thing.
So that going beyond the limites of our law, they extorte, and many to
miserie bring.
But if we should follow Gods law we should not receaue aboue that wee
lend.
For if we lend for reward, how can we say we are out neighbors friend?
O how blessed shall that man be that lendes without abuse:
But thrise accursed shall he be that greatly couets vse:
For he that couet ouer much vnsaciate is his minde,
So that to periurie and crueltie, he holy is inclinde:
Wherewith they sore oppresse the poore by diuers sundry wayes,
Which makes them cry vnto the Lord to shorten cutthroates dayes:
Paule calleth them theeues that doth not geue the needie of their store,
And thrise accurst are they that take one penny from the poore:
But while I stand reasoning thus I forget my market cleane,
And sith God hath ordained this way, I am to vse the meane.

Sing agayne.

Hiue ye any olde shoes, or haue ye any bootes, haue ye any buskines, or will
ye buy any brome.
Who bargen or chop with conscience, what will no customer
come?

Enter Vserie.

Vsury.

Who is it that cries bromes, what cons.Conscience selling bromes about y street?

Consci.

What Userie, it is great pitie thou art vnhanged yet.

Vsury.

Beleue me Conscience, it greeues me thou art brought so low.

Consci.

Beleue me Userie it greeues me thou wast not hanged long agoe.
For if thou hadst bene hanged before thou slewest Hospitalitie,
Thou hadst not made me and thousandes more to feele like pouertie.

Enter Lucar.

Lucar.

Me thought I heard one cry bromes along the dore.

Vsery.

I marrie Madam it was Conscience, who seemes to be offended at
at me verie sore.

Lucar.

Alas Conscience art thou become a poore bromewife?

Consc.

Alas Lucar wilt thou continue a harlot all dayes of thy life?

Lucar.

Alas I thinke it is a greefe to thee that thou art so poore.

Consci.

Alas Lucar I thinke it is not paine to thee that thou still plaiest the
whore.

Lucar.

Well well Conscience that sharpe tonge of thine hath not been thy
furtheraunce.

of the three Ladies of London.

If thou hadst kept thy tongue, thou hadst kept thy friend, and not haue
had such hinderaunce:
But wottest thou who shalbe married to morrow?
Loue with my Dissimilation,
For I thinke to bid the gesse, they are by this time well nye gone:
And hauing occasion to vse broomes, I care not if I buy them all.

Consci.

Then geue me a shilling and with a good will haue them you
shall.

Lucar.

Userie carrie in these broomes and geue them t o the maide,
For I know of such store she will be well apaid.
Exit Vserie with the broomes.
Hould Cons.Conscience though thy broomes be not worth a quarter so much,
Yet to geue thee a peece of gould I doe it not grutch:
And if thou wouldst follow my mynd, thou shouldst not liue in such sort,
But passe thy dayes with pleasure store of euery kinde of sport.

Consci.

I thinke you lead the worlde in a string, for euery body followes
you.
And sith euery one doth it, why may not I doe it too,
For that I see your free hart, and great liberallitie:
I maruell not that all people are so willing to follow ye.

Lucar.

Then sweete soule marke what I would haue thee doe for me,
That is to decke vp thy poore Cottage hansomely:
And for that perpose I haue fiue thousandes Crownes in store,
And when it is spent thou shalt haue twise as much more,
But onely see thy roomes be neat when I shal thither resort:
With familiar friendes to play and passe the time in sport:
For the Debutie, Cunstable, and spitefull neighbours doe spy, pry, and
eye about my house:
That I dare not be once merrie within, but still mute like a mouse.

Consci.

My good Ladie Lucar I will fulfil your minde in euery kinde of
thing.
So that you shalbe welcome at all houres whome soeuer you doe
bring:
And all the dogges in the towne shall not barke at your doings I trow,
For your full pretence and intent I doe throughly know:
Euen so well as if you had opened the very secrettes of your heart:
For whiche I doubt not but to rest in your sauour by my desart:
But here comes your man Userie.

Enter Vserie.

Lucar.

Ile send him home for the money,
Userie steppe in and bring me the boxe of all abhomination that standes
in the window:
It is little and round painted with diuers colours and is prettie to the
show.

Vserie.

Madam is there any superscription there on?

Lucar.

Haue I not tolde you the name: for shame get you gone.
Well my wenche I doubt not but our pleasures shall excell,

E.1. seeing

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Seeing thou hast got a corner fit where few neighbours dwell,
And they be of the poorest sorte which fits our turne so right:
Because they dare not speake against our sportes and sweete delight,
And if they should (alas their wordes) would nought at al be wayd,
And for to speake before my face, they wilbe al afrayd.

Enter Vserie with a paynted boxe of
incke in hys hand.

Vsury.

Madam I deeme the same be it, so farre as I can gesse.

Lucar.

Thou saiest the trueth tis it in deede, the outside shewes no lesse.
But Userie I thinke Dissimulation hath not seene you since your
comming home:
Therefore goe see him, he will reioyce when you to him are showne,
It is a busie time with him, help to further him if you can.

Vsery.

He may commaund me to attend at boord to be his man.

Exit Vserie.
Here let Lucar open the boxe and dip her finger in
it, and spotte Conscience face, saying
as followeth.

Lucar.

Hould here my sweete, and them ouer to see if any want,
The more I doe behold this face, the more my minde doth vaunt:
This face is of fauor, these cheekes are reddy and white,
These lips are cherry red, and full of deepe delight.
Quicke rowling eyes, her temples hygh, and forhead white as snowe,
Her eye-browes seemely set in frame, with dimpled chinne below:
O how beautie hath adorned thee with euery seemely hew,
In limmes, in lookes, with all the rest, proportion keeping dew:
Sure I haue not seene a finer soule in euery kinde of part,
I can not choose but kisse thee with my lippes that loue thee with my
heart.

Cons.

I haue tould the crownes and here are iust so many as you to me did
say.

Lucar.

Then when thou wilt thou maist depart, and homewardes take thy
way.
And I pray thee make haste in decking of thy rome,
That I may undo thy lodging fine, when with my friend I come.

Consci.

Ile make speede, and where I haue with broomes oft times bene
roming:
I meane hencefoorth not to be seene, but sitte to watche your com-
ming.

Exit Conscience.

Lucar.

O how ioyfull may I be, that such successe doe finde,
No maruell, for pouertie and desire of Lucar doe force them follow my
minde:

Now

of the three Ladies of London.

Now may I reioyce in full contentation,
That shall marry Loue with Dissimulation:
And haue spotted Conscience with all abhomination,
But I forget my selfe, for I must to the wedding,
Both dauntingly and flauntingly, although I had no bidding.

Exit Lucar.
Enter Dissimulation and Coggin hys
man, and Symony.

Cog.

Sir although you be my maister I woulde not haue you to vpbraide
my name,
But I would haue you vse the right skill and title of the same:
For my name is neither scogging, not scragging, but auncient Cogging:
Sir my Ancestors were fiue of the foure worthies,
And your selfe are of my neare kinne.

Dissim.

Indeede thou sayst true for Coggin is a kinsman to Dissimulation,
But tell me haue you taken the names of the guestes?

Cog.

Yea sir.

Dissim.

Let me heare after what fashion.

The names of the guestes tolde
by Coggin.

Cog.

There is first and formost maister forgery, and maister Flatterie,
Maister Periurie and maister Iniurie:
Maister Crueltie, and maister Pickarie, maister Bribery and mayster
Trecherie:
Maister Wincke at wrong, and maister Headstrong, mistris priuie Theft
And maister deepe Deceit, maister Abhomination, and maister Fornica-
cation his wife, Fardinando false-waight, and frissit false-nicasure
his wife.

Dissim.

Stay, Fornication and Fryssit false-measure they are often familiar
with my Lady Lucar, and one of them she accountes her friend:
Therefore they shall sit with the Bride in the middest, and the men at
eche end:
Let me see, there are sixteene, euen as many as well neare is able
To dine in the sommer parlor at the playing tab e:
Beside my fellow Fraud, and you ellow Symony,
But I shall haue a great misse of my fellow Userie.

Symo.

Take no care for that, he came home yesterday euen no longer,
His pardon was quickly begged, and that by a Courtyer:
And sirra since he came home he had like to haue slaine good neigh-
bourhood and liberalitie,
Had not true friendship stept betweene them very sodenly:
But sirra he hit true riendship s che a blow on the eare,
That he keepes out of all mens sight, I thinke for shame or for feare.

E.ii. Now

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

Dissim.

Now of my troth it is a prettie iest, hath he made true friendship hide
his head?
Sure if it be so good neighbourhoode and liberalitie for feare are fled.

Symo.

But fellow Dissimulation tel me what Priest shall marry ye?

Dissim.

Mary that shal an olde frend of mine Maister Doctor Hipocrisie.

Symo.

Why will you not haue sir Peter Pleaseman to supply that want?

Dissim.

Indeede sir Peter is a good Priest, but Doctaur Hipocrisie is most
auncient.
But coosin Coggin, I pray you goe to inuite the gestes,
And tell them that they neede not disturbe their quietnes:
Desire them to come at dinner time and it shall suffise,
Because I know they will be loth so early to rise.
But at any hand will Doctor Hipocrisie,
That he meete vs at the Churche very early:
For I would not haue all the world to wonder at our match,
It is an olde prouerbe, tis good hauing a hach before the dore, but ile
haue a doore before the hatch.

Cog.

Sir I will about it as fast as I can hye,
Ile first to that scalde balde knaue Doctor Hispocrisie.

Exit Cog.

Symo.

But fellow Dissimulation how darest thou marry with Loue, bea-
ring no loue at all?
For thou doest nothing but dissemble, then thy loue must needes be
small:
Thou canst not loue but from the teeth forward,
Sure the wife that marries thee shall highly be prefard:

Dissim.

Tush tush, you are a merry man, I warrant you I know what I do.
And can yeald a good reason for it I may say vnto you.
What and if the world should channge and runne all on her side?
Then might I by her meanes still in good credite abide:
Thou knowest loue is auncient and liues peaceably without any
strife.
Then sure the people will thinke well of me because shee is my
wife.

Symo.

Trust me thou art as craftie to haue an eye to the mayne chaunce:
As the Taylor that out of seuen yardes stole one and a halfe of durance.
He serued at that time the deuill in likenesse of Sainct Katherine,
Such Taylors will thriue that out of a doublet and a payre of hose,
can steale their wife an Aporne:
The Dublet sleeues three fingers were to short,
The Uenecians came nothing neare the knee.

Dissim.

Then for to make them long inough I pray thee what did
hee?

Symo.

Two peeces set an handfull broad to lengthen them withall,
Yet for all that below the knee by no meanes they could fall.
He seeing that desired the partie to buy as much to make an other paire
The partie did, yet for all that he stole a quarter there.

Dissim.

Now sure I can him thanke he could his occupation:

of the three Ladies of London.

My fellowe Fraude would laugh to heare one drest of such a fashion.
But fellowe Symony, I thanke you hartily for comparing the Taylor
to me,
As who should say, his knauerie and my pollicie did not agree.

Symo.

Not so, but I was the willinger to tell thee, because I know it to bee
a true tale,
And to see howe Artificers doe extoll Fraude, by whome they beare
their soule.
But come let vs walke, and talke no more of this,
Your pollicie was very good, and so no doubt was his.

Exeunt.
¶Enter Mercadorus reading a letter to himselfe, and
let Gerontus the Iewe followe him, and
speake as followeth.

Geron.

Senior Mercadore, why doe you not pay mee? thinke you I will bee
mockt in this sorte?
This is three times you haue flowted mee, it seemes you make thereat
a sporte.
Trulie pay me my money, and that euen nowe presently,
Or by mightie Mahomet I sweare, I will forthwith arrest yee.

Merca.

Ha pray a bare wit me tre or foure daies, mee haue much businesse
in hand:
Me be troubled with letters you see heere, dat comes from England.

Geron.

Tush this is not my matter, I haue nothing therewith to do,
Pay me my money or Ile make you, before to your lodging you go.
I haue Officers stand watching for you, so that you cannot passe by,
Therefore you were best to pay me, or els in prison you shall lie.

Merca.

Arrest me dou skal knaue, mary do and if thou dare,
Me will not pay de one peny, arrest me, doo, me do not care.
Me will be a Turke, me came hedar for dat cause,
Darefore me care not for de so mush as two strawes.

Geron.

This is but your wordes, because you would defeate me,
I cannot thinke you will forsake your faith so lightly.
But seeing you driue me to doubt, Ile trie your honestie:
Therefore be sure of this, Ile go about it presently.

Exit.

Merca.

Mary farewell and be hangd, sitten scald drunken Jew.
I warrant yee me shalbe able very vell to pay you.
My Lady Lucar haue sent me heere dis letter,
Praying me to coossen de Jewe for loue a her.
Darefore mele go to get a some Turks apparell,
Dat me may coossen da Jewe, and end dis quarrell.

Exit.
¶Enter three Beggars, that is to say, Tom
Beggar, wily Will, and Simplicitie
singing.
E.iii. The

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
The Song.

To the wedding, to the wedding, to the wedding go wee,
To the wedding a begging, a begging, all three.
TOM Beggar shall braue it, and wyly Will to,
Simplicitie shall knaue it where euer we go:
With lustely Brauado, take care that care will,
To catch it, and snatch it, we haue the braue skill.
Our fingers are lime-twigges, and Barbars we be,
To catch sheetes from hedges most pleasant to see:
Then to the alewife roundly we set them to sale,
And spend the money merily vpon her good ale.
To the wedding, to the wedding, to the wedding go wee,
To the wedding a begging, a begging all three.

FINIS.

Tom.

Now truely my maisters, of all occupations vnder the sunne, begging
is the best,
For when a man is wearie, then may he lay him downe to rest.
Tell me, is it not a Lordes life in Sommer to lowse one vnder a hedge,
And then leauing that game, may go clepe and coll his Madge?
Or els may walke to take the wholesome ayre abroade for his delight,
Where he may tumble on the grasse, haue sweete smels, and see manie a
pretie sight.
Why, an Emperour for all his wealth can haue but his pleasure,
And surely I would not lose my charter of libertie, for all the kinges
treasure.

Will.

Shall I tell thee Tom Beggar? by the faith of a Gentleman, this
auncieut freedome I would not forgo,
If I might haue whole Mynes of money at my will to bestowe.
Then a mans mind should be troubled to keepe that he had,
And you knowe it were not for me, it would make my valiant mind mad.
For now we neither pay Church money, subsidies, fifteenes, scot, nor lot.
All the payings we pay, it to pay the good ale pot.

Simpli.

But fellowe Beggars, you coossen me, and take away all the best meat,
And leaue me nothing but browne bread, or finne of fish to eate.
When you be at the Alehouse, you drinke vp the strong ale, and giue mee
small beare:
You tell me tis better then the strong, to make me sing cleare.
Indeede you know with my singing I get twise so much as ye,
But and you serue me so, you shall sing your selues, and beg alone for me.

Tom.

We stand prating heere, come let vs go to the gate,
Mas I am greatly afraid we are come somewhat too late.
Good gentle M.Master Porter your reward do bestowe,
On a poore lame man, that hath but a paire of legges to goe.

of the three Ladies of London.

Will.

For the honour of God good Mas Porter, geue somewhat to the blind
That the way to the Alehouse in his sleepe cannot find.

Tom.

For the good Lords sake take compassion on the poore.

¶Enter Fraud with a basket of meat on his arme

Fraude.

How now Sirs, you are vengeance hastie, can ye not tarrie?
But stand bauling so at my Ladies doore.
Heere take it amongst you, yet twere a good almes deede to geue you
nothing,
Because you were so hastie, and kept such a calling.

Tom.

I beseech ye not so Sir, for we were verie hungrie.
That made vs so earnest, but we are sorie we troubled yee.

Simpli.

Looke how greedie they be, like dogs that fall a snatching,
You shall see that I shall haue the greatest almes, because I saide no-
thing.
Fraude knowes me, therefore hele be my freend I am sure of that,
They haue nothing but leane beefe, ye shall see I shall haue a peece that
is fat.
Mister Fraude you haue forgot me, pray ye let me haue my share.

Fraude.

Faith all is gone, thou camest too late, thou seeest all is giuen there.
By the faith of a Gentleman I haue it not, I would I were able to
geue thee more.

Simpli.

O Sir, I sawe your armes hang out at a stable dore.

Fraude.

Indeed my armes are at the Painters, belike he hung them out to drie,
I pray thee tell me what they were, if thou canst them descrie.

Simpli.

Mary there was neuer a scutchin, but there was 2. trees rampant,
And then ouer them lay a sower tree parsant,
With a man like you in a greene field pendant,
Hauing a hempten halter about his necke, with a knot vnder the left eare
because you are a younger brother.
Then Sir, there stand on ech side holding vp the crease,
A worthie Ostlers hand in a dich of grease:
Besides all this, on the helmet stands the hangmans hand,
Ready to turne the Ladder where on your picture did stand:
Then vnder the helmet hung Tables like chaines, and for what they are
I cannot deuise
Excepe it be to make you hang fast, that the Crowes might picke out
your eies.

Fraude.

What a swad is this? I had beene better to haue sent him to the backe
doore,
To haue gotten some almes amongst the rest of the poore:
Thou pratst thou canst not tell what, or els art not well in thy wit,
I am sure my armes are not blazd so farre abroad as yet.

Simpli.

O yes sir, your armes were knowne a great while ago,
For your elder brother Deceite did giue those armies too.
Marry the difference is all, which is the knot vnder the left eare:
The Painter saies when he is hang you may put out the knot without
feare.
I am sure they were your armes, for there was written in Romaine
letters about the hempen collar,

Geuen

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Geuen by the worthie valiant Captaine Maister Fraud the Ostlar.
Now God be wie ye sir, Ile get me euen close to the backe dore.
Farewell Tom Beggar, and wylie Will, Ile begge with you no more.

Exit.

Tom.

O farewell Simiplicitie, we are verie loth to lose thy companie.

Fraude.

Now he is gone giue eare to me. You seeme to be sound men in euerie
ioynt and lim,
And can ye liue in this forte, to goe vp and downe the country a begging?
O base minds I trow, I had rather hacke it out by the high way side,
Then such miserie and penurie still to abide.
Sirs, if you will be rulde by me, and do what I shall say,
Ile bring ye where we shall haue a notable fine pray.
It is so Sirs, that a Merchant, one Mercadorus, is comming from
Turky,
And it is my Ladies pleasure that he robbed should be,
She hath sworne that we shalbe all sharers alike,
And vpon that willed me some such companions as you be to seeke.

Tom.

O worthie Captaine Fraude, you haue wonne my noble hart:
You shall see how manfully I can play my part.
And heeres wylie Will, as good a fellowe as your hart can wish,
To go a fishing with a cranke through a windowe, or to set limetwigges
to catch a pan, potte, or dish.

Will.

He sayes true, for I tell you I am one that will not geue backe,
Not for a double shot out of a blacke Jacke.
O sir you bring vs a bed when ye talke of this geare,
Come, shall we go werthy Captaine? I long till we be there.

Fraude.

I, let vs about it, to prouide our weapons ready,
And when the time serues, I my selfe will conduct yee.

Tom.

O Ualiantly spoken, come wily Will, two pots of ale wele bestowe,
On our Captaine coragiously for a parting blowe.

Exeunt.
¶Enter the Iudge of Turkie, with Geron-
tus and Mercadorus.

Iudge.

Sir Gerontus, because you are the plaintife, you first your minde
shall say,
Declare the cause you did arrest this Merchant yesterday.

Geron.

Then learned Iudge attende. This Mercadorus whome you see in
place,
Did borrowe two thousand Duckets of mee, but for a fiue weeks space.
Then Sir, before the day came, by his flatterie he obtained one thousand
more,
And promist mee at two monthes ende I should receiue my store:
But before the time exspired, he was closly fled away,
So that I neuer heard of him at least this two yeeres day:
Till at the last I met with him, and my money did demande,
Who sware to me at fiue daies end, he would pay me out of hand.
The fiue daies came, and three daies more, then one day he requested,

of the three Ladies of London.

I perceiuing that he flouted me, haue got him thus arrested:
And now he comes in Turkish weedes to defeat me of my mony,
But I trow he wil not forsake his faith, I deeme he hath more honestie.

Iudge.

Sir Gerontus you knowe, if any man forsake his faith, king, countrie,
and become a Mahomet,
All debtes are paide, tis the lawe of our Realme, and you may not gaine-
say it.

Geron.

Most true (reuerent Iudge) we may not, nor I will not against our
Lawes grudge.

Iudge.

Senior Mercadorus is this true that Gerontus doth tell?

Merca.

My Lord Iudge, de matter, and de circumstance be true me know well.
But me will be a Turke, and for dat cause me came heere.

Iudge.

Then it is but a follie to make many wordes. Senior Mercadorus
draw neere.
Lay your hand vpon this booke, and say after mee,

Merca.

With a good will my Lord Iudge, me be all readie.

Geron.

Not for any deuotion, but for Lucars sake of my monie.

Iudg & Merca.

Say I Mercadorus, do vtterly renounce before all the world, my dutie
to my Prince, my honour to my parents, and my good wil to my cuntry:
Furthermore I protest and sweare to be true to this country during life,
and therevpon I forsake my Christian faith.

Geron.

Stay there most puissant Iudge. Senior Mercadorus, consider what
you doo,
Pay me the principall, as for the interest, I forgiue it you:
And yet the interest is allowed amongst you Christians, as well as in
Turky,
Therefore respect your faith, and do not seeme to deceiue me.

Merca.

No point da interest, no point da principall.

Geron.

Then pay me the one halfe, if you will not pay me all.

Merca.

No point da halfe, no point denere, me will be a Turke I say,
Me be wearie of my Christes religion, and for dat me come away.

Geron.

Well seeing it is so, I would be loth to heare the people say, it was long
of me
Thou forsakest thy faith, wherefore I forgiue thee franke and free:
Protesting before the Iudge, and all the world, neuer to demaund peny
nor halfepeny.

Merca.

O Sir Gerontus, me take a your proffer, and tanke you most hartily.

Iudge.

But seneor Mercadorus, I trow ye will be a Turke for all this.

Merca.

Seneor no not for all da good in da world, me forsake a my Christ.

Iudge.

Why then it is as sir Gerontus saide, you did more for the greedines of
the mony,
Then for any zeale or good will you bare to Turky.

Merca.

Oh Sir, you make a great offence,
You must not iudge a my conscience.

Iudge.

One may iudge and speake truth as appeeres by this.
Jewes seeke to excell in Christianitie, and Christians in Jewisnes.

(Exit

Merca.

Uell vell, but me tanke you Sir Gerontus with all my very hart.

Geron.

Much good may it do you sir. I repent it not for my part.
But yet I would not haue this bolden you to serue an other so,
Seeke to pay, & keepe day with men, so a good name on you wil go.

(Exit. F. You

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Merca.

You say vel Sir: it dus me good, dat me haue coossend de Jewe,
Faith I would my Ladie Lucar de whole matter nowe knewe.
What is dat me will not do for her sweete sake,
But now me will prouide my iourney toward England to take.
Me be a Turke, no, it will make my Ladie Lucar to smile,
When she knowes how me did da scall Jewe beguile.

Exit.
¶Enter Lucar, and Loue with a visard
behind.

Lucar.

Mistrisse Loue, I maruell not a little what coy conceite is crepte into
your head,
That you seeme so sad and sorrowfull since the time you first did wed.
Tell me sweete wench what thou aylest, and if I can ease thy griefe,
I will be prest to pleasure thee in yeelding of reliefe.
Sure thou makest me for to thinke some thing hath chaunst amisse.
I pray thee tell me what thou aylest, and what the matter is.

Loue.

My griefe alas I shame to show, because my bad intent,
Hath brought on me a iust reward, and eke a straunge euent.
Shall I be counted Loue? nay rather lasciuious Lust,
Because vnto Dissimulation I did repose such trust.
But now I mone too late, and blush my hap to tell,
My head in monstrous sort alas, doth more and more still swell.

Lucar.

Is your head then swollen good Mistrisse Loue, I pray you let me see.
Of troth it is, behold a fate, that seemes to smile on me:
It is faire and well fauoured, with a countenance smooth and good,
Woonder is the worst, to see two faces in a hood.
Come lets go, wele finde some sports to spurne away such toyes,

Loue.

Were it not for Lucar, sure Loue had lost her ioyes.

Exeunt.
¶Enter Seruiceable Dilligence the Constable,
and Simplicitie, with an Officer to whip
him, or two if you can.

Simpli.

Why, but must I be whipt M.Master Constable in deed?
You may saue your labour, for I haue no need.

Dilli.

I must needes see thee punished, there is no remedie,
Except thou wilt confesse, and tell me,
Where thy fellowes are become that did the robberie.

Simpli.

Indeede M.Master Constable, I do not knowe of their stealing,
For I did not see them since we went togither a begging:
Therefore pray ye Sir, be miserable to me, and let me go,
For I labour to get my liuing with begging you know.

Dilli.

Thou wast seene in their companie a little before the deede was
doone,
Therefore it is most likely thou knowest where they are become.

Why

of the three Ladies of London.

Simpli.

Why maister Constable if a sheepe goe among Wolues all days.
Shall the sheepe be blamde if they steale any thing away.

Dilli.

I marrie shall he, for it is a great presumption,
That keeping them companie he is of like profession,
But dispatche sirz, strip him and whip him:
Stand not to reason the question.

Simpli.

Indeede twas Fraud so it was, it was not I,
And here he comes himselfe, aske him if I lye.

Enter Fraud.

Dilli.

What saiest thou Uillain? I would aduise thee hold thy tongue,
I know him to be a wealthy man and a Burges of the Towne:
Sir and it please your maistership, heres one slanders you with fellony,
He sayth you were the chiefe doer of a robberie.

Fraude.

What sayes the rascall? but you know,
It standeth not wth my credite to braule:
But good maister Constable for his slaunderous report,
Pay him double, and in a greater matter commaund me you shall.

Exit.

Simpli.

Maister Constable must the countenaunce carry out the knaue,
Why then if one will face folkes out, some fine reparlment he must haue.

Bedle put off his Clothes.

Come sir iack sauce: make quicke dispatche at once,
You shall see how finely we will fetche the skin from your bones.

Simpli.

Nay but tell me whether you be both right handed or no?

Bedle.

What is that to thee, why wouldest thou so faine know?

Simpli.

Marrie if you should be both right handed, the one would hinder
the other,
Then it would not be done finely according to order:
For if I be not whipt with credite it is not worth a pinne,
Therefore I pray maister Constable let me be whipt vpon my skinne.

Dilli.

Whereon doest thou think they would whip thee, I pray thee declare?
That thou puttest vs in minde, and takest such great care.

Sympli.

I was afrayd you woulde haue worne out my clothes with whip-
ping.
Then afterward I should goe naked a begging.

Bedle.

Haue no doubt of that: we will fauour thy clothes,
Thou shalt iudge that thy selfe, by feeling the blowes.

Lead him once or twise about, whipping
him, and so Exit.

Enter Iudge Nemo the clarke of the Sies, the Crior,
and seruiceable Dilligence, the Iudge and Clarke being
sett, the Crier shall sound three times. F.ii. Seruiceable

A pithie and pleasant Comoedie

Iudge.

Seruiceable Dilligence, bring hither such prisoners as are in your cu- (stodie,
My dilligence shall be applied very willingly.

Dilli.

Pleaseth it you, there are but three prisoners so farre as I knowe,
Which are Lucar and Conscience, with a deformed creature much like
Bifrons the base daughter of Juno.

Iudge.

No? Where is that wretch Dissimulation?

Dilli.

He hath transformed himselfe after a straunge fashion.

Iudge.

Fraude: where is he become?

Dilli.

He was seene in the streetes walking in a Citizens gowne.

Iudge.

What is become of Usurie?

Dilli.

He was seene at the Exchainge very lately.

Iudge.

Tell me, when haue you heard of Symony?

Dilli.

He was seene this day walking in Paules, hauing conference and very
great familiaritie with some of the Cleargie.

Iudge.

Fetch Lucar and Conscience to the Barre.

Dilli.

Behold worthie Iudge, heere ready they are.

¶Enter Lucar and Conscience.

Iudge.

Stand foorth: Dilligence deuide them a soonder.

Clarke.

Lucar, thou art indited by the name of Lucar,
To haue committed adulterie with Mercadorus the Merchant, and
Creticus the Lawyer.
Thou art also endyted for the robberie of Mercadore:
Lastly, and chiefly, for the consenting to the murder of Hospitalitie.
What saiest thou, art thou guiltie or not in these causes?

Lucar.

Not guiltie, where are mine accusers, they may shame to shew thier fa- (ces?
I warrant you none comes, nor dare to discredite my name:
In despite of the teeth of them that dare: I speake in disdaine.

Iudge.

Impudent, canst thou deny deedes so manifestly knowne.

Lucar.

In deniall standes triall: I shame not, let them be showne,
It grindes my gall, they should sclaunder me on this sorte:
They are some olde cankered currish corrupt carles that gaue me this re- (port
My soule craues reuenge on such my sacred foes,
And reuengement I will haue, if body and soule I lose.

Iudge.

Thy hatefull heart declares thy wicked life,
In the aboundance of thy abhomination all euils are rife:
But what sayest thou Conscience to thy accusation,
That art accused to haue bene bawd vnto Lucar, and spotted with all (abomination.

Consci.

What should I say, nay what would I say in this our naughty liuing

Lucar.

Good Conscience if thou loue me say nothing.

Clarke.

Dilligence, suffer her not to stand prating.

Let him put her aside.

Iudge.

What letter is y in thy bosome Conscience? Dilligence reache it hither.
Make as though ye read it.
Conscience speake on, let me heare what thou canst say,
For I know in singlenesse thou wilt a truth bewray.

Consci.

My good Lord I haue no way to excuse my selfe,
She hath corrupted me by flatterie, and her accursed pelfe:
What need further triall, sith I Conscience am a thousand witnesses,

of the three Ladies of London.

I cannot chuse but condemne vs all in liuing amisse,
Such terror doth affright me, that liuing, I wish to dye:
I am afrayd there is no sparke left for me of Gods mercy.

Iudge.

Conscience where hadst thou this letter?

Consci.

It was put into my bosome by Lucar.
Wiliing me to keepe secret our lasciuious liuing,
I cannot but condemne vs all in this thing.

Iudge.

How now mallepart stand you still in defence or no?
This letter declares thy giltie Conscience, how saiest thou is it not so?
Tell me, why standest thou in a mase? speake quickly:
Hadst thou thy tongue so liberall, and now stand to study?

Lucar

O Conscience thou hast kild me, by thee I am ouerthrowne,

Iudge.

It is happie that by Conscience thy abhomination is knowne,
Wherefore I pronounce iudgement against thee on this wise.
Thou shalt passe to the place of darcknesse, where thou shalt heare fearful
cries.
Weeping, wayling, gnashing of teeth, and torment without end,
Burning in the lake of fire and brimstone because thou canst not amend:
Wherfore Dilligence conuey her hence, throw her down to the lowest hel.
Where the infernall sprites and damned ghostes do dwell.
And bring forth Loue.
Exit Lucar and Dilligence.
Let Lucar make ready for Loue quickly, and come
with Dilligence.
Declare the cause Conscience at large, how thou commest so spotted,
Whereby many by thee hath bene greatly infected:
For vnder the colour of Conscience thou deceiuedst many,
Causing them to defile the temple of God, whiche is mans body:
A cleane conscience is a sacrifice: Gods own resting place,
Why wast thou then corrupted so, and spotted on thy face?

Consci.

When Hospitalitie had his throate cut by Userie,
He oppressed me with crueltie, and brought me to beggery:
Turning me out of house and home, and in the end,
My gowne to pay my rent, to him I did send:
So driuen to that extremitie, I haue fallen to that you see,
Yet after iudgement I hope of Gods mercy.

Iudge.

O Conscience, shall cankered quoyn corrupt thy heart?
Or shall want in this world cause thee to feele euerlasting smart?
O Conscience what a small time thou hast on earth to liue,
Why doest thou not then, to God all honor geue?
Considering the time is euerlasting that thou shalt liue in blisse,
If by thy life thou rise from death, to iudgement, mercy, and forgeuenes:
Enter Loue with Dilligence.
Stand aside Conscience:bring Loue to the barre,

F.iii. What

A pithie and pleasaunt Comoedie

What saiest thou to thy deformitie, who was the cause?

Loue.

Ladie Lucar.

Iu g e.

Did Lucar choke thee so, that thou gauest thy selfe ouer vnto lust?
And did prodigall exspences cause thee in Dissimulation to trust?
Thou wast pure (Loue) and art thou become a monster,
Bolstering thy selfe vpon the lasciuiousnes of Lucar?
Loue answere for thy selfe, speake in thy defence.

Loue.

I cannot chuse but yeeld, confounded by Conscience.

Iudg.

Then iudgement I pronounce on thee, because thou followed Lucar,
Whereby thou hast sould thy soule, to feele like torment with her.
Which torments comprehended are in the worme of Conscience,
Who raging still, shall nere haue end, a plague for thine offence.
Care shall be thy comfort, and sorrow shall thy life sustaine,
Thou shalt be dying, yet neuer dead, but pining still in endles paine.
Dilligence, conuay her to Lucar, let that be her reward,
Because vnto her cankered coine she gaue her whole regard.
But as for Conscience carry her to prison,
There to remaine vntill the day of the generall session:
Thus we make an ende,
Knowing that the best of vs all may amend:
Whiche God graunt, to his good will and pleasure,
That we be not corrupted with the vnsatiate desire of banishing
.earthly treasure:
For Couetousnesse is the cause of wresting mans Conscience,
Therefore restraine thy lust, and thou shalt shonne the offence.

FINIS. Paule Bucke.

Prosopography

Abby Flight

Remediator and encoder, 2024–present. Abby Flight completed her BA in English at the University of Victoria in 2024, and is now an MA student focusing on Medieval and Early Modern Studies.

Andrew Griffin

Andrew Griffin is an associate professor in the department of English and an affiliate professor in the department of Theater and Dance at the University of California, Santa Barbara. He is general editor (text) of Queen’s Men Editions. He studies early modern drama and early modern historiography while serving as the lead editor at the EMC Imprint. He has co-edited with Helen Ostovich and Holger Schott Syme Locating the Queen’s Men (2009) and has co-edited The Making of a Broadside Ballad (2016) with Patricia Fumerton and Carl Stahmer. His monograph, Untimely Deaths in Renaissance Drama: Biography, History, Catastrophe, was published with the University of Toronto Press in 2019. He is editor of the anonymous The Chronicle History of King Leir (Queen’s Men Editions, 2011). He can be contacted at griffin@english.ucsb.edu.

Chantelle Thauvette

Chantelle Thauvette (Three Ladies of London1592 Q2 text) completed her PhD in English and Cultural Studies, 2013, at McMaster, with a Doctoral Diploma in Gender Studies and Feminist Research. She has published a book chapter in Magic, Marriage, and Midwifery: Eroticism in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance (Turnhout: Brepols, 2014), and articles in SEL: Studies in English Literature, The Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies, The Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies, and has presented papers at interdisciplinary early modern conferences including the Renaissance Society of America, the Canadian Society for Renaissance Studies, Shakespeare Association of America, and the Society for the Study of Early Modern Women. She can be contacted at cthauvette@siena.edu.

Erin Julian

Erin Julian (Three Ladies of London, performance) completed her SSHRC-funded dissertation (Laughing Matters: Sexual Violence in Jacobean and Caroline Comedy) in English and Cultural Studies in 2014 at McMaster. She currently holds a SSHRC Postdoctoral Fellowship at Western University (Rape Under Erasure in Early/Modern Shakespeare). Her recent publications include Review Essay: New Directions in Jonson Criticism for Early Theatre 17.1 (2014) and (co-authored with Helen Ostovich) Pedagogical and Web Resources in Julian and Ostovich (eds), The Alchemist: A Critical Reader(Bloomsbury, 2013). She is also co-editor of The Dutch Courtesan for the Complete Works of John Marston (OUP, forthcoming) and editor of the website associated with the performance of the play in March 2019. Her essay on performance, Our hurtless mirth: What’s Funny about The Dutch Courtesan? appears in Early Theatre 23.1 (2000), the special issue on Marston’s play. She can be contacted at ejulian@uwo.ca.

Helen Ostovich

Helen Ostovich, professor emerita of English at McMaster University, is the founder and general editor of Queen’s Men Editions. She is a general editor of The Revels Plays (Manchester University Press); Series Editor of Studies in Performance and Early Modern Drama (Ashgate, now Routledge), and series co-editor of Late Tudor and Stuart Drama (MIP); play-editor of several works by Ben Jonson, in Four Comedies: Ben Jonson (1997); Every Man Out of his Humour (Revels 2001); and The Magnetic Lady (Cambridge 2012). She has also edited the Norton Shakespeare 3 The Merry Wives of Windsor Q1602 and F1623 (2015); The Late Lancashire Witches and A Jovial Crew for Richard Brome Online, revised for a 4-volume set from OUP 2021; The Ball, for the Oxford Complete Works of James Shirley (2021); The Merry Wives of Windsor for Internet Shakespeare Editions, and The Dutch Courtesan (with Erin Julian) for the Complete Works of John Marston, OUP 2022. She has published many articles and book chapters on Jonson, Shakespeare, and others, and several book collections, most recently Magical Transformations of the Early Modern English Stage with Lisa Hopkins (2014), and the equivalent to book website, Performance as Research in Early English Theatre Studies: The Three Ladies of London in Context containing scripts, glossary, almost fifty conference papers edited and updated to essays; video; link to Queen’s Mens Ediitons and YouTube: http://threeladiesoflondon.mcmaster.ca/contexts/index.htm, 2015. Recently, she was guest editor of Strangers and Aliens in London ca 1605, Special Issue on Marston, Early Theatre 23.1 (June 2020). She can be contacted at ostovich@mcmaster.ca.

Janelle Jenstad

Janelle Jenstad is a Professor of English at the University of Victoria, Director of The Map of Early Modern London, and Director of Linked Early Modern Drama Online. With Jennifer Roberts-Smith and Mark Beatrice Kaethler, she co-edited Shakespeare’s Language in Digital Media: Old Words, New Tools (Routledge). She has edited John Stow’s A Survey of London (1598 text) for MoEML and is currently editing The Merchant of Venice (with Stephen Wittek) and Heywood’s 2 If You Know Not Me You Know Nobody for DRE. Her articles have appeared in Digital Humanities Quarterly, Elizabethan Theatre, Early Modern Literary Studies, Shakespeare Bulletin, Renaissance and Reformation, and The Journal of Medieval and Early Modern Studies. She contributed chapters to Approaches to Teaching Othello (MLA); Teaching Early Modern Literature from the Archives (MLA); Institutional Culture in Early Modern England (Brill); Shakespeare, Language, and the Stage (Arden); Performing Maternity in Early Modern England (Ashgate); New Directions in the Geohumanities (Routledge); Early Modern Studies and the Digital Turn (Iter); Placing Names: Enriching and Integrating Gazetteers (Indiana); Making Things and Drawing Boundaries (Minnesota); Rethinking Shakespeare Source Study: Audiences, Authors, and Digital Technologies (Routledge); and Civic Performance: Pageantry and Entertainments in Early Modern London (Routledge). For more details, see janellejenstad.com.

Jessica Dell

Jessica Dell (Three Ladies of London, Q1 1584) defended her doctoral dissertation, Vanishing Acts: Absence, Gender, and Magic in Early Modern Drama, 1558–1642, in September 2014 at McMaster University. In 2016, she became a full-time instructor at Aurora College (NWT) in the Bachelor of Education program which partners with the University of Saskatchewan and the Indian Teacher Education Program (ITEP). Recent publications include A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean!: Image Magic and Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor in Magical Transformations on the Early Modern English Stage (2014) and, with David Klausner and Helen Ostovich, co-edited The Chester Cycle in Context, 1555–1575: Religion, Drama, and the Impact of Change (2012). She can be contacted at Jdell@auroracollege.nt.ca.

Kate LeBere

Project Manager, 2020–2021. Assistant Project Manager, 2019–2020. Textual Remediator and Encoder, 2019–2021. Kate LeBere completed her BA (Hons.) in History and English at the University of Victoria in 2020. During her degree she published papers in The Corvette (2018), The Albatross (2019), and PLVS VLTRA (2020) and presented at the English Undergraduate Conference (2019), Qualicum History Conference (2020), and the Digital Humanities Summer Institute’s Project Management in the Humanities Conference (2021). While her primary research focus was sixteenth and seventeenth century England, she completed her honours thesis on Soviet ballet during the Russian Cultural Revolution. She is currently a student at the University of British Columbia’s iSchool, working on her masters in library and information science.

Mahayla Galliford

Project manager, 2025-present; research assistant, 2021-present. Mahayla Galliford (she/her) graduated with a BA (Hons with distinction) from the University of Victoria in 2024. Mahayla’s undergraduate research explored early modern stage directions and civic water pageantry. Mahayla continues her studies through UVic’s English MA program and her SSHRC-funded thesis project focuses on editing and encoding girls’ manuscripts, specifically Lady Rachel Fane’s dramatic entertainments, in collaboration with LEMDO.

Navarra Houldin

Training and Documentation Lead 2025–present. LEMDO project manager 2022–2025. Textual remediator 2021–present. Navarra Houldin (they/them) completed their BA with a major in history and minor in Spanish at the University of Victoria in 2022. Their primary research was on gender and sexuality in early modern Europe and Latin America. They are continuing their education through an MA program in Gender and Social Justice Studies at the University of Alberta where they will specialize in Digital Humanities.

Peter Cockett

Peter Cockett is an associate professor in the Theatre and Film Studies at McMaster University. He is the general editor (performance), and technical co-ordinating editor of Queen’s Men Editions. He was the stage director for the Shakespeare and the Queen’s Men project (SQM), directing King Leir, The Famous Victories of Henry V, and Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (2006) and he is the performance editor for our editions of those plays. The process behind those productions is documented in depth on his website Performing the Queen’s Men. Also featured on this site are his PAR productions of Clyomon and Clamydes (2009) and Three Ladies of London (2014). For the PLS, the University of Toronto’s Medieval and Renaissance Players, he has directed the Digby Mary Magdalene (2003) and the double bill of George Peele’s The Old Wives Tale and the Chester Antichrist (2004). He also directed An Experiment in Elizabethan Comedy (2005) for the SQM project and Inside Out: The Persistence of Allegory (2008) in collaboration with Alan Dessen. Peter is a professional actor and director with numerous stage and screen credits. He can be contacted at cockett@mcmaster.ca.

Robert Wilson

Actor with the Queen’s Men. See Robert Wilson (d. 1600).

Sarah Johnon

Sofia Spiteri

Sofia Spiteri is currently completing her Bachelor of Arts in History at the University of Victoria. During the summer of 2023, she had the opportunity to work with LEMDO as a recipient of the Valerie Kuehne Undergraduate Research Award (VKURA). Her work with LEMDO primarily includes semi-diplomatic transcriptions for The Winter’s Tale and Mucedorus.

Tracey El Hajj

Junior Programmer 2019–2020. Research Associate 2020–2021. Tracey received her PhD from the Department of English at the University of Victoria in the field of Science and Technology Studies. Her research focuses on the algorhythmics of networked communications. She was a 2019–2020 President’s Fellow in Research-Enriched Teaching at UVic, where she taught an advanced course on Artificial Intelligence and Everyday Life. Tracey was also a member of the Map of Early Modern London team, between 2018 and 2021. Between 2020 and 2021, she was a fellow in residence at the Praxis Studio for Comparative Media Studies, where she investigated the relationships between artificial intelligence, creativity, health, and justice. As of July 2021, Tracey has moved into the alt-ac world for a term position, while also teaching in the English Department at the University of Victoria.

Orgography

LEMDO Team (LEMD1)

The LEMDO Team is based at the University of Victoria and normally comprises the project director, the lead developer, project manager, junior developers(s), remediators, encoders, and remediating editors.

Queen’s Men Editions (QME1)

The Queen’s Men Editions anthology is led by Helen Ostovich, General Editor; Peter Cockett, General Editor (Performance); and Andrew Griffin, General Editor (Text).

University of Victoria (UVIC1)

https://www.uvic.ca/

Metadata

Authority title	The Three Ladies of London, Quarto 1
Type of text	Primary Source Text
Publisher	University of Victoria on the Linked Early Modern Drama Online Platform
Series
Source	This file has been converted from IML, the SGML markup language of the Internet Shakespeare Editions platform. IML files do not indicate the copy or copytext transcribed. LEMDO acknowledges that we are not the main source of transcription, and that we do not know the witness transcribed in this transcription. As time permits, we will compare this transcription to an open-access digital surrogate and align the transcription that surrogate. If you have worked on ISE and/or may have an idea as to the source of this file, please contact lemdo@uvic.ca.
Editorial declaration	Encoded in TEI P5 according to the LEMDO Customization and Encoding Guidelines
Edition
Encoding description
Document status	IML-TEI_INP
License/availability

Edition: The Three Ladies of LondonThe Three Ladies of London, Quarto 1

A right excellent and famous Comoedy called the three Ladies of London.

WHEREIN IS NOTA- BLIE DECLARED AND SET foorth, how by the meanes of Lucar, Loue and Conscience is so corrupted, that the one is married to Dissi- mulation, the other fraught with all abhomina- tion.

¶A PERFECT PATTERNE FOR ALL Estates to looke into, and a worke right wor- thie to be marked. Written by R.W. as it hath beene publiquely played.

Prosopography

Abby Flight

Andrew Griffin

Chantelle Thauvette

Erin Julian

Helen Ostovich

Janelle Jenstad

Jessica Dell

Kate LeBere

Mahayla Galliford

Navarra Houldin

Peter Cockett

Robert Wilson

Sarah Johnon

Sofia Spiteri

Tracey El Hajj

Orgography

LEMDO Team (LEMD1)

Queen’s Men Editions (QME1)

University of Victoria (UVIC1)

Metadata

A right excellent
and famous Comoedy called
the three Ladies of London.

WHEREIN IS NOTA-
BLIE DECLARED AND SET
foorth, how by the meanes of Lucar, Loue
and Conscience is so corrupted, that
the one is married to Dissi-
mulation, the other fraught
with all abhomina-
tion.

¶A PERFECT PATTERNE FOR ALL
Estates to looke into, and a worke right wor-
thie to be marked. Written by R.W.
as it hath beene publiquely
played.