Edition: The Three Ladies of LondonThe Three Ladies of London, Quarto 2


A
Right excellent
and famous Comedy, called
The Three Ladies of London.

 


VVHEREIN IS NOTABLIE
declared and set forth, how by the meanes of
Lucar, Loue and Conscience is so corrup-
ted, that the one is married to Dissimu-
lation, the other fraught with all
abhomination.


A perfect patterne for all Estates to looke into,
and a worke right worthie to be marked.
Written by R.W. as it hath been
publiquely plaied.


AT LONDON,
Printed by Iohn Danter, dwelling in Ducke
Lane, neere Smithfield.
1592.

The Prologue.
 
Sp1
TO sit on Honors seate, it is a loftie reach,
To seeke for praise by making bragges, oft times doth get a (breach.
We list not ride the rowling rackes, that dims the christall skies,
We mean to set no glimmering glance before your curteous eies:
VVe search not Plutoes pensiue pit, nor taste of Limbo lake:
VVe do not shew of warlike fight, as shield and sword to shake:
VVe speak not of the powers diuine, ne yet of furious sprights:
VVe do not seeke high hils to clime, nor talke of loues delights:
VVe do not here present to you the threshar with his flayle,
Ne do we here present to you the milk-maid with her payle:
VVe shew not you of countrey toile, as hedger with his bill:
VVe do not bring the husbandman to lop and top with skill:
VVe play not here the Gardners part to plant, to set and sow:
You meruaile then what wares we haue to furnish out our show.
Your patience yet we craue a while till we haue trimd our stall:
Then yong and old come and behold our wares, & buy them all.
Then if our wares shall seeme to you, well wouen, good & fine,
VVe hope we shall your custome haue againe another time.
 
FINIS.

A py
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie of the three Ladies of London.  
The First Act

Enter Fame sounding before Loue and Conscience.
Sp2Loue.

LAdie Conscience, what shall we say to our estates,
to whom shall we complaine?
Or how shall we abridge such fates, as heapeth up our paine?
Tis Lucar now that rules the rout, tis she is all in all,
Tis she that holds her head so stout, in fine tis she that works our fal.
Oh Conscience, I feare, I feare a day,
that we by her and Usurie shall quite be cast away.

Sp3Con.
Indeed I feare the worst, for euerie man doth sew
and comes from countreys strange and farre, of her to haue view.
Although they ought to seeke true Loue and Conscience cleare:
but Loue and Conscience few doo like, that leane on Lucars chaire.
Men ought be rulde by vs, we ought in them beare sway:
so should each neighbor liue by other in good estate alway.

Sp4 Loue.
For Lucar men come from Italy, Barbarie, Turkie,
From Iurie: nay the Pagan himselfe,
Indangers his bodie to gape for her pelfe.
They forsake mother, prince, countrey, religion, kiffe and kin,
Nay men care not what they forsake, so ladie Lucar they win.
That we poore ladies may sigh to see our states thus turned and tost,
and worse and worse is like to be, where Lucar rules the rost.

Sp5Con.
You say the truth, yet God I trust will not admit it so,
that Loue and Conscience by Lucars lust shall catch an ouerthrow.

Sp6Fame.
Good ladies rest content, and you no doubt shall see
them plagud with painfull punishment for such their crueltie:
And if true Loue and Conscience liue from Lucars lust lasciuious,
theu Fame a triple crowne will giue, which lasteth ay victorious.

Sp7Con.
God grant that Conscience keep within the bounds of right,
and that vile Lucar doo not daunt her heart with deadly spight.

Sp8Loue.
And grant O God that Loue be found in citie, towne & countrie,
which causeth wealth and peace abound, and pleaseth God almightie.

Sp9Fame.
But Ladies, ist your pleasure to walke abroad a while,
and recreate your selues with measure your sorrowes to beguile.

Sp10Con.
Passe on good Fame, your steps doo frame, on you we will attend,
and pray to God that holds the rod, our states for to defend.
Exeunt.
Enter Dissimulation, hauing on a Farmers long coate, and a cap, and
his poll and beard painted motley.

Sp11Dissim.
Nay no lesse than a farmer, a right honest man,
but my tong cannot stay me to tell what I am:
Nay, who is it that knowes me not by my partie coloured head?
They may well thinke that see me, my honestie is fled.
A2 Tush
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp12
Tush, a figge for honestie, tut let that go.
Sith men, women, and children my name and doings do know,
My name is Dissimulation, and no base mind I beare,
For my outward effects my inward zeale do declare:
For men do dissemble with their wiues, & their wiues with them again,
So that in the hearts of them I alwaies remaine:
The child dissembles with his father, the sister with her brother,
the mayden with her mistris, and the yongman with his louer.
There is Dissimulation betweene neighbor and neighbor, friend and
friend, one with another.
Betweene the seruant and his maister, betweene brother and brother.
then why make you it strange that euer you knew me,
Seeing so often I raunge throughout euery degree?
But forget my basenes, ile towards London as fast as I can,
to get entertainment of one of the three Ladies, like an honest man.

Enter simplicitie like a Miller all mealy with a
wand in his hande.

Sp13simp.
They say there is preferment in London to haue,
Mas and there be ile be passing and braue:
Why ile be no more a miller, because the maydens call me dusty pole,
One thumps me on the necke, and another strikes me on the nose:
And you see I am a hansome fellow, marke the comporknance of my
stature,
Faith ile go seeke peraduentures, and be a seruing creature.

Sp14Dissim.
Whither away good fellow? I pray thee declare.

Sp15simp.
Mary ile clare thee, to London, would thou didst go there.

Sp16Dissim.
What if I did, would it be better for thee?

Sp17simp.
I marry should it, for I loue honest company.

Sp18Dissim.
Agreed, there is a bargen, but what shall I call thee?

Sp19simp.
Cause thou art an honest man ile tel thee, my name is Simplicity

Sp20Dissim.
A name agreeing to thy nature, but stay here comes more com=(pany.

Enter Fraud with a sword and buckler like a Ruffin.
Sp21Fraud.
Huffe once aloft, and if I may hit in the right vaine,
Where I may beguile easily without any great paine:
I will flaunt it and braue it after the lusty swash,
Ile deceiue thousands, what care I who lie in the lash.

Sp22Dissim.
What Fraud well met, whither trauellest thou this way?

Sp23Fraud.
To London, to get entertainment there if I may,
Of the three ladyes, Lucar, Loue, and Conscience,
What care I to serue the Deuill, so I may get pence?

Sp24simp.
O Fraud I know thee for a deceitfull knaue,
And art thou gotten so boniacion and braue?
I knew thee when thou dwelt at a place called Grauesend,
And the guests knew thee too, because thou wast not their friend,
For when thou wouldst bring reckoning to thy gesse,
thou wouldst say twise so much, and sweare it cost thy dame no lesse.
So thou didst deceiue them, and thy dame too:
A 3 ndA
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp25
And because they spied thy knauerie, away thou didst goe.
Then thou didst go into Hartfordshyre to a place called Ware,
And because horses stood at hay for a pennie a night there,
So that thou couldst get nothing that kinde of way,
Thou didst greaze the horses teeth, that they should not eate hay,
And wouldst tell the rider his horse no hay would eate,
So the man would say, giue him some other kinde of meate.
Sir shall I giue him oates, fitches pease barley, or bread,
But what ere thou gaust him, thou stolst three quarters when he was in (bed,
And now thou art so proud with thy filching & coosning art,
But I thinke one day thou wilt be proud of the Rope and the Cart:
take a wise fellowes counsell Fraud, leaue thy coosning and filching.

Sp26Fraud.
Thou horeson rascall swad auant, ile bang thee for thy brauling.
How darest thou defame a Gentleman that hath so large a liuing?

Sp27Sim.
A goodly Gentleman Ostler, I thinke none of you al beleeue him.

Sp28Fraud.
What a clinchpoop drudge is this? I can forbeare him no more.

Let Fraud make as though he would strike him, but let
Dissimulation step betweene them.

Sp29Dis im.
My good friend Fraud refraine, and care not therefore,
tis Simplicitie that patch, he knoweth not good from bad,
And to stand in contention with him, I would thinke you were mad
But tell me Fraud tell me, hast thou been an Ostler in thy dayes?

Sp30Fraud.
Faith I haue prooued an hundred such wayes.
For when I could not thriue by all other trades,
I became a squire to waite vpon iades.
But then was then, and now is now, so let that passe,
I am as thou seest me, what care I the diueil what I was.

Sp31Dissim.
Y say you go to London, in faith haue with you than.

Sp32Simpl.
Nay come and go with me, good honest man:
For if thou goe with him, he will teach thee all his knauerie,
there is none will go with him that hath anie honestie.
A bots on thy motley beard, I know thee thou art Dissimulation,
And hast thou got an honest mans coate to semble this fashion?
Ile tell thee what, thou wilt euen semble & cog with thine own father:
A couple of false knaues together, a theefe and a broker:
thou makst townes folk beleeue thou art an honest man in the country.
yet dost nothing but cog, lye, and foyst with hypocrisie.
You shall be hanged together and go alone together for mee,
For if I should go the folkes would say, we were knaues all three.

Enter Symonie and Vsurie hand in hand.
Sp33Sym.
Freend Usurie, I thinke we are welneare at our iournies end:
But knowest thou whom I haue espied?

Sp34Vsurie.
No.

Sp35Sym.
Fraud our great freend.

Sp36Vsur.
And I see another that is now come into my remembrance.

Sp37Sym.
Who is that?

Sp38Vsur.
Mary M.Master Dauie Dissimulation, a good helper, and our olde ac=(quaintance.
Simpl.
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp39Simpl.
Now all the cards in the stocke are dealt about,
the foure knaues in a cluster comes ruffling out.

Sp40Sym.
What Fraud and Dissimulation happely found out,
I meruaile what peece of worke you two goe about?

Sp41Fraud.
Faith sir we met by chance, and towards London are bent.

Sp42Vsurie.
And to London we hye it is our chiefest intent,
to see if we can get entertainment of the Ladies or no.

Sp43Dissim.
And for the selfe same matter euen thether we goe.

Sp44Sym.
Then we are luckely well met, & seing we wish al for one thing,
I would we our wills and wishing might winne.

Sp45Sim l.
Yes they will be sure to winne the diuell and all,
Or else theyle make a man to spue out his gall:
O that vile Usury, he lent my father a little mony, & for breking one day.
He tooke the fee-simple of his house and mill quite away:
And yet he borrowed not halfe a quarter so much as it cost,
But I thinke if it had been but a shilling it had been lost:
So he kild my father with sorrow, and undid me quite,
And you deale with him sirs, you shall finde him a knaue full of spight.
And Simon I per se I. Symonie too, he is a knaue for for the nonce,
He loues to haue twentie liuings at once:
And if he let an honest man as I am to haue one,
Hele let it so deare that he shall be undone.
And he seekes to get Parsons liuings into his hand,
And puts in some odd dunce that to his paiment will stand:
So, if the parsonage be worth fortie or fiftie pound a yere,
He will giue one twentie nobles to mumble seruice once a month there.

Sp46Symonie and Vsurie both.

What rascall is he, that speakes by vs such villanie?

Sp47Dissim.
Sirs, he was at vs erewhile too, it is no matter, it is a simple
soule called Simplicitie.
 
Enter Loue and Conscience.
Sp48
But here come two of the Ladies, therefore make readie.

Sp49Fraud.
But which of vs all shall first breake the matter?

Sp50Dissim.
Mary let Symonie doo it, for he finely can flatter.

Sp51Vsur.
Nay sirs, because none of vs shal haue preheminence aboue other,
We will sing in fellewship together like brother and brother.

Sp52Sym.
Of troth agreed my masters let it be so.

Sp53Simpl.
Nay and they sing, ile sing too.

The Song.
Sp54
Good Ladies take pittie, and graunt our desire.

Sp55 Conscience reply.

Speake boldly and tell me what ist you require.

Sp56 Their reply.

Your seruice good Ladies, is that we doo craue.

Sp57 Her reply.

We like not nor list not such seruants to haue.
Theyr.
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp58 Their replie.
If you entertaine vs, we trusty will be,
but if you refraine vs, then most unhappy:
We will come we will runne we will bend at our becke,
we will plie, we will hie, for feare of a checke.

Sp59 Her replie.
You doe faine, you do flatter, you do lie, you doe prate,
you will steale, you will robbe, you will kill in your hate:
I denie you, I defie you, then cease off your talking,
I refraine you, I disdaine you, therefore get you walking.

Sp60Con.
What Fraud, Dissimulation, Usurie, and Symonie,
How dare you for shame presume so boldly.
As once to shew your selues before Loue and Conscience,
Not yeelding your lewd liues first to repentance?
Thinke you not that God will plague your wicked practises,
If you intend not to amend your liues so farre amisse?
Thinke you not God knowes your thoughts words and works,
And what secret mischiefs in your hearts there lurks?
then how dare you offend his heauenly maiestie,
With your dissembling deceit, your flatterie, and your Usurie?

Sp61Fraud.
Tut sirs, seeing lady Conscience is so scrupulous,
I will not speake to her, for I see it is friuolous.
But what say you lady Loue, will you graunt vs fauour?

Sp62Loue.
Ile no such seruants so ill of behauiour:
Seruants more fitter for Lucar than Loue,
And happie are they which refraine for to proue:
Shamelesse, pittilesse, gracelesse, and quite past honestie,
then who of good conscience but will hate your companie.

Sp63Vsu.
Here is scrupulous Conscience and nice Loue indeed,
Tush, if they will not, others will, I know we shall speed.

Sp64simp.
But lady I stand still behind, for I am none of their company.

Sp65Con.
Why, what art thou? oh I know thou art simplicitie.

Sp66simp.
I faith, I am simplicitie, and would faine serue ye.

Sp67Con.
No, I may haue no fooles to dwell with me.

Sp68Simp.
Why, then lady Loue will you haue me than?

Sp69Loue.
Yes simplicitie thou shalt be my man.

Sp70Simp.
But shall I be your good man?

Sp71Loue.
Yea my good man indeed.

Sp72Simp.
I but I would be your goodman, & swap vp a wedding with speed

Sp73Loue.
No, Loue may not marry in any case with Simplicitie.
But if thou wilt serue me, ile receiue it willingly,
And if thou wilt not, what remedie.

Sp74Simp.
Yes ile serue ye, but will you go in to dinner, for I am hungry?

Sp75Loue.
Come lady Conscience, wil you walk home from this companye?

Sp76Con.
With right good will, for their sights likes not me.

Exeunt Loue and Conscience.
Sp77Fraud.
Fraud is the clubbish knaue, and Usury the hard harted knaue
And Symonie the diamond dainty knaue,
And Dissimulation the spitefull knaue of spade.
Come
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp78
Come there any moe knaues, come there any moe:
I see foure knaues stand on a rowe.
 
Let Fraud runne at him, and let Simplicitie runne in, and
come out againe straight.

Sp79Fraud.
Away Drudge, be gone quickly.

Sp80Simp.
I wis, doe thrust out mine eyes with a Lady.

Exit Simplicitie.
Sp81Vsury.
Did you euer see Gentleman so rated at before,
But it skils not, I hope one day to turne them both out at dore.

Sp82Symo.
We were arrantly flowted, rayled at, and skoft in our kind,
That same Conscience is a vild terrour to mans mind:
Yet faith I care not, for I haue borne many more than these,
When I was conuersant with the Clergie beyond the Seas,
And he that will liue in this world must not care what such say,
For they are blossoms blown down, not to be found after May.

Sp83Fraud.
Faith care that care will, for I care not a point,
I haue shifted hitherto, and whilest I liue I will ieopard a ioynt:
And at my death I will leaue my inheritour behind,
That shall be of the right stampe to follow my mind:
Therefore let them prate till their hearts ake, and spit out their euill,
She cannot quaile me, if she came in likenesse of the great deuill.

Sp84Dissim.
Masse Fraud, thou hast a doughtie hart to make a hangman of,
For thou hast good skill to helpe men from the coffe,
But we were arrantly flowted, yet I thought she had not knowne me,
But I perceiue though Dissimulatio do disguise him, Conscience can see.
What though Conscience perceiue it, all the world cannot beside?
Tush there be a thousand places where we our selues may prouide:
But looke sirs, here commeth a lusty Lady towards vs in haste,
But speake to her if you will,that we may be all plaste.
 
Enter Lady Lucar.
Sp85Vsu.
I pray thee doe, for thou art the likeliest to speed.

Sp86Dissim.
Why then ile toit with a stomacke in hope of good speed,
Faire Lady, all the Gods of good fellowship kisse ye(I would say blesse ye)

Sp87Luc.
Thou art very pleasant & ful of thy roperipe, I would say rhetorick

Sp88Dissim.
Lady you tooke me at the worst, I beseech you therefore,
To pardon my boldnesse offending no more.

Sp89Luc.
We do, the matter is not great, but what wouldst thou haue?
How shall I call thee, and what ist thou doest craue?

Sp90Dissim.
I am called Dissimulation, and my earnest request,
Is to craue entertainment for me and the rest,
Whose names are Fraud, Usurie, and Symonie,
Great carers for your health, wealth, and prosperitie.

Sp91Luc.
Fraud, Dissimulation, Usurie, and Symonie,
Now truly I thanke you for proffering your seruice to me:
You are all hartily welcome, and I will appoint straight way,
B Where
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp92
where each one in his office in great honor shall stay.
But Usurie didst thou neuer know my grandmother the old Ladie Lu-
car of Uenice?

Sp93Vsurie.
Yes Madame, I was seruant vnto her, and liued ther in blisse.

Sp94Lucar.
But why camest thou into England, seeing Uenice is a Citie
where Usurie by Lucar may liue in great glorie?

Sp95Vsurie.
I haue often heard your good grandmother tell,
that she had in England a daughter, which her farre did excell:
And that England was such a place for Lucar to bide,
as was not in Europe and the whole world beside:
then lusting greatly to see you and the countrey, she being dead,
I made hast to come ouer to serue you in her stead.

Sp96Lucar.
Gramercie Usury, & doubt not but to liue here as pleasantly,
and pleasanter too: but whence came you Symonie, tell me.

Sp97sym.
My birth, nurserie & bringing vp hithertoo hath bin in Rome, that
ancient religious citie:
On a time the monkes & friers made a banket, whereto they inuited me
with certaine other English merchants, which belike were of their fa-
miliaritie.
So talking of manie matters, amongst others one began to debate
of the abundant substance still brought to that state.
Some said the encrease of their substance and wealth,
came from other Princes, and was brought thether by stealth:
But the friars and monkes with all the ancient companie,
said that it first came, and is now vpholden by me Symonie:
which the Englishmen gaue eare too, then they flattred a little too much,
as English merchants can do for aduantage when encrease it doth tuch:
And being a shipboord merrie, and ouercome with drinke on a day,
the winde serued, they hoyst sayle, and so brought me away:
and landing here, I heard in what great estimation you were.
made bold to your honor to make my repaire.

Sp98Lucar.
Wel Symonie, I thank thee, but as for Fraud & Dissimulation
I know their long continuance, and after what fashion.
Therefore Dissimulation, you shall be my steward,
An office that euerie mans case by you must be preferd.
And you Fraud shall be my rent-gatherer, my letter of leases & my pur-
chaser of land,
so that manie olde bribes will come to thy hand.
And Usurie because I know you be trustie, you shall be my secretarie,
to deale amongst merchants, to bargen and exchange money.
And Symonie, because you are a slie fellow, & haue your tongue liberall,
we will place you ouer such matters as are Ecclesiasticall
And though we appoint sundrie offices where now ye are in,
Yet ioyntly we meane to vse you together ofttimes in one thing.

Sp99All.
Ladie we rest at your commaund in ought we can or may.

Sp100Lucar.
Then master Dauie to my pallaice hast thee away,
and will Craftie Conueyance my butler to make readie
The
of the three Ladies of London
Sp101
The best fare in the house, to welcome thee and thy companie:
but stay Dissimulation, my selfe will go with thee.
Gentlemen ile goe before, but see in anie case,
so soone as ye please resort to my place.

Exeunt, Dissim.& Lucar.  
Sp102sym.
Doubt not faire Ladie, we will not long absent be.

Sp103Vsurie.
Fellow Symonie this fell out pat, so well as heart could wish.
we are cunning anglers, we haue caught the fattest fish.
Certainly it is true that her grandmother told,
Here is good to be done by vse of siluer and gold.
And seeing we are so well setled in this countrey,
Rich and poore shall be pincht whosoeuer come to me.

Sp104sym.
Sirra, being at Rome, and dwelling in the Friarie,
they would talke how England yerely sent ouer a great masse of money;
and that this little Yland was more worth to the Pope,
than three bigger Realmes that had a great deale more scope:
For here were smoke pence, peter pence, and powle pence to be paid,
besides much other money that to the Popes vse was made.
Why, it is but lately since the Pope receiued this fine,
Not much more than 33.yeares since, it was in Queene Maries time.
But England had neuer knowen what this geare had meant,
Had frier Austen from the Pope not hether been sent.
For the Pope hearing it to be a little Yland, sent him with a great Ar-
mie ouer.
And winning the victorie, he landed about Rye, Sandwych, or Douer.
Then he erected lawes hauing the people in subiection,
and for the most part, England hath paid tribute so long.
I hearing of the great store and wealth in the Countrey,
could not chuse but perswade my selfe the people loued symonie.

Sp105Vsurie.
But stay your talke till some other time, we forget my Ladie.

Sp106Sym.
Of troth you say true, for she bad vs make hast,
but my talke me thought sauoured well, and had a good tast.

Exeunt ambo.  
Enter Mercadore like an Italien Merchant.  
Sp107Merc.
Me iudge in my minda dat me be not verie far
from de place where dwells my Ladie Lucar:
But here come vne shentle mana so he doo.
 
Enter Dissimulation.
Sp108
Pray ye heartely signior leta me speaka you,
Pray ye do ye know vn shentleman dat meshier Dauie doo call?

Sp109Dissim.
Yes sir, my selfe am he, and what would you withall?

Sp110Merca.
Good a my friend meshter Dauie, helpa me pray ye heartely,
For haue sum acquaintance a with Madona Lucar your Lady.
B2 Dissim.
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp111
Sir vpon condition I will, therefore I would you should know,
That on me and my fellowes you must largely bestow:
Whose names are Fraud, Usurie, and Symony, men of great credit and
calling,
And to get my Ladies good wil and theirs it is no small thing
But tell me can you be content to winne Lucar by Dissimulation?

Sp112Merca.
A good a my friend ara me no shush a question,
For he dat will liue in de world must be of the world sure,
And de world will loue his owne, so long as the world indure.

Enter Lucar.
Sp113Dissim.
I commend your wit Sir, but here comes my Lady.

Sp114Merca.
Come hider, heers too tree Crownes for de speke me.

Sp115Dissim.
Well sir I thank you, I will go speake for you.

Sp116Lucar.
Maister Dauy Dissimulation, what new acquaintance haue ye (gotten there?

Sp117Dissim.
Such a one Madam that vnto your state hath great care:
And surely in my minde the Gentleman is worthie
To be well thought on for his liberality, bounty, & great care to seeke yee.

Sp118Lucar.
Gentleman, you are hartily welcome, how are you called, I pray you tell vs?

Sp119Merca.
Madona, me be a Mershant and be cald senior Merkadorus.

Sp120Lucar.
But I pray you tell me what Countryman.

Sp121Merca.
Me be Madona an Italian.

Sp122Lucar.
Yet let me trouble ye, I beseech ye whence came ye?

Sp123Merca.
For sarua voutra boungrace, me come from Turkie.

Sp124Lucar.
Gramercie, but senior Mercadore dare you not vndertake,
Secretly to conuey good commodities out of this country for my sake?

Sp125Merca.
Madona, me doe for loue of you tinke no paine too mush,
And to doe any ting for you me will not grush:
Me will a forsake a my Fader, Moder, King, Country, & more den dat,
Me will lie and forsweare my selfe for a quarter so much as my hat.
What is dat for loue of Lucar me dare or will not doe:
Me care not for all the world, the great Deuil, nay make my God angry
for you.

Sp126Luc.
You say wel Mercadorus, yet Lucar by this is not throwly won
But giue eare and I will shew what by thee must be done:
Thou must carry ouer Wheate, Pease, Barly, Oates, and Fitches, and
all kind of graine,
Which is well sold beyond sea and bring such merchants great gaine.
Then thou must carry beside lether, tallow, beefe, bacon, bell mettell, and
euery thing,
And for these good commodities, trifles into England thou must bring:
As Bugles to make bables, coloured bones, glasse beades to make brace-
lettes withall:
For euery day Gentlewomen of England doe aske for such trifles from
stall to stall,
And you must bring more, as Amber, Ieat, Corall, Christall, and euerie
such bable,
That
of the three Ladies of London
Sp127
That is slight pretty and pleasant, they care not to haue it profitable.
And if they demaund wherefore your wares and merchandize agree,
You must say Ieat will take vp a straw, Amber will make one fat,
Corrall will looke pale when you be sicke, and Christall wil stanch blood.
So with lying, flattering, and glosing you must vtter your ware,
And you shall winne me to your will, if you can deceitfully sweare.

Sp128Merca.
Tinke ye not dat me haue carried ouer corne, Ledar, Beefe, and
Bacon too all tis while:
And brought hedar many bables dese country men to beguile?
Yes, shall me tell you Madona, me and my countrimans haue sent ouer,
Bell mettel for make ordinance, yea and ordinance it selfe beside,
Dat my country and other countries bee so well furnisht as dis country,
and has neuer beene spide.

Sp129Luc.
Now I perceiue you loue me, and if you continue in this still,
You shal not only be with me, but command me when & where you will.

Sp130Merca.
Lady, for to do all dis and more for you me be content:
But I tinke some skall knaue will put a bill in da Parliament,
For dat such a tings shall not be brought heere.

Sp131Luc.
Tush Mercadore, I warrant thee, thou needest not to feare:
What and one do? there is some other will flatter and say,
They do no hurt to the country, and with a sleight fetch that bill away.
And if they doe not so, that by acte of Parliament it be past,
I knew you merchants haue many a sleight and subtill cast,
So that you will by stealth bring ouer great store,
And say it was in the Realme a long time before.
For being so many of these trifles here as there is at this day,
You may increase them at pleasure, when you send ouer sea,
And doe but giue the searcher an odde bribe in his hand,
I warrant you he wil let you scape roundly with such things in and out (the land
But senior Mercadore, I pray you walke in with me,
And as I find you kind to me, so will I fauour ye,

Sp132Merca.
Me tanke my good Lady. But M.Master Dissimulation, heere is for
your fellows, Fraud, Usurie, and Symonie, and say me giue it dem.

Exeunt Lucar and Mercadore.
Sp133Dissim.
I marry Sir, these bribes haue welcome beene,
Good faith I perceiue, Dissimulation, Fraud, Symonie and Usurie shal (liue
In spite of Loue and Conscience, though their hearts it doth greeue.
Mas maisters, he that cannot lie, cog, dissemble and flatter now a dayes,
Is not worthy to liue in the world, nor in the Court to haue praise.

Enter Artifex an Artificer.
Sp134Art.
I beseech you good M.Master Dissimulation,befreend a poore man,
To serue Lady Lucar and sure sir. ile consider hereafter if I can.

Sp135Dissim.
What, consider me? doest thou thinke that I am a bribe taker?
Faith it lies not in me to further thy matter.

Sp136Art.
Good M.Master Dissimulation helpe me, I am almost quite vndone,
But yet my liuing hitherto with Conscience I haue wonne,
But my true working, my early rising and my late going to bed,
B3 Is
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp137
Is scant able to find my selfe, wife and children drie bread:
For there be such a sort of strangers in this country,
That worke fine to please the eye, though it be deceitfully.
And that which is sleight, and seemes to the eye well,
Shall sooner than a peece of good worke be proffered to sell,
And our English men be growne so foolish and nice,
That they will not giue a penny aboue the ordinary price.

Sp138Dissim.
Faith I cannot helpe thee, tis my fellow Fraud must pleasure (thee
Heere comes my fellow Fraud, speake to him, and ile do what I can.

Enter Fraude.
Sp139Art.
I beseech you be good vnto me right honest Gentleman.

Sp140Fraud.
Why and whereto? what wouldst thou haue me doe?

Sp141Art.
That my estate you will so much prefar,
As to get me to be a workman to Lady Lucar:
And sir I doubt not but to please you so well for your paine,
That you shall thinke very well of me, if I in her seruice remaine.

Sp142Dissim.
Good fellow Fraud do so much for I see he is very willing to (liue
And some peece of worke to thee for thy paines he will giue.

Sp143Fraud.
Well vpon that condition I wil but I care not so much for his (gifts,
As that he will by my name declare how he came by his great thrifts.
And that he will set out in euery kind of thing,
That Fraud is a good husband, and great profit doth bring.
Therefore the next peece of worke that thou doest make,
Let me see how deceitfull thou wilt do it for my sake.

Sp144Art.
Yes sir I will sir, of that be you sure,
Ile honour your name while life doth endure.

Sp145Dissim.
Fellow Fraud, here comes a Cittizen as I deeme.

Sp146Fraud.
Nay rather a Lawyer, or some petty fogger he doth seeme.

Enter a Lawyer.
Sp147Law.
Gentleman, my earnest suite is to desire ye,
That vnto your Ladies seruice you would helpe me:
For I am an attorney of the law and pleader at the bar,
And haue a great desire to plead for Lady Lucar.
I haue beene earnest Sir, as is needfull in such a case,
For feare an other come before me, and obtaine my place.
I haue pleaded for Loue and Conscience till I wis wearie,
I had many Clients, and many matters, that made my purse light, and
my heart heauie.
Therefore let them plead for Conscience that list for me,
Ile plead no more for such as bring nothing but beggery.

Sp148Dissim.
Sir, vpon this condition that youle keepe men in Law,
Ten or twelue yeeres for matters not worth a straw:
And that you will make an ill matter seeme good and firmable in deed,
Faith I am content for my part that you shall speed.

Sp149Fraud.
Nay fellow thou knowest that Symonie and Usurie hath an ill
matter in law at this time,
Now if thou canst handle the matter so subtill and fine,
As
of the three Ladies of London
Sp150
As to plead that ill matter good and firmable at the bar,
Then thou shalt shew thy selfe worthy to winne Lady Lucar.
Therefore tell me if you can and will do it or no.
Yf you doe it, be sure to get my Ladies good will ere you go.

Sp151Dissim.
By my honestie well remembred, I had quite forgot,
Tis about that, a fortnight ago fell out the matter I wot.

Sp152Law.
Tush sir, I can make blacke white, and white blacke againe,
Tut he that will be a Lawyer, must haue a thousand waies to faine,
And many times we Lawyers do one befreend another,
And let good matters slip, tut we agree like brother and brother.
Why sir, what shall let vs to wrest and turne the law as we list.
Seeing we haue them printed in the palmes of our fist?
Therefore doubt you not, but make bold report,
That I can, and will plead their ill cause in good kind of sort.

Sp153Fraud.
Of troth how likest thou this fellow Dissimulation?

Sp154Dissim.
Mary I like him well, hee is a cunning Clarke, and one of our (profession.
But come sir, go with vs and we will prefer you.

Sp155Art.
Good M.Master Fraud remember me.

Sp156Fraud
Leaue thy prating, I will I tell thee.

Sp157Art.
Good M.Master Dissimulation thinke on me,

Sp158Dissim.
Thou art too importunate and greedy.

Sp159Fraud.
Come after dinner, or some other time when we are at leysure.

Dissim. Fraud and Lawyer exeunt.
Sp160Art.
Come after dinner, or some other time indeed.
For full little do they thinke of a poore mans need:
These fellowes will do nothing for pittie and loue,
And thrise happy are they that hath no need them to proue.
God he knowes the world is growne to such a stay,
That men must vse Fraud and Dissimulation too, or beg by the way.
Therefore ile do as the most doth, the fewest shall laugh me to scorne,
And be a fellow amongst good fellows to hold by S.SaintLukes horne.
(Exit.
Enter Simplicitie and Sinceritie.
Sp161Sinc.
Good coossen Simplicitie do something for me.

Sp162Simp.
Yes faith coossen Sinceritie, ile do any thing for thee?
What wouldst thou haue me do for thee canst tell that?
Mas I cannot tell what shouldst do for me, except thou wouldst giue me
a new hat.

Sp163Sinc.
Alas I am not able to giue thee a new.

Sp164Simp.
Why then I maruell how thou doest doe:
Doest thou get thy liuing amongst beggars from doore to doore?
Indeed coossen Sinceritie, I thought thou wast not so poore.

Sp165Sinc.
Nay cossen Simplicity I got my liuing hardly but yet I hope iust
And with good Conscience too although I am restrained from my lust.
But this it is coosen Simplicitie, I would request you do for me:
Which is, to get Lady Loue, and Lady Conscience hand to a letter:
That by their menes I may get some benefice to make me liue the better

Sp166Simp.
Yes Ile do so much for thee coosen, but hast thou any heere?
B4 I
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp167Sincer.
I behold they are ready drawne, if assined they were.

Let Simplicitie make as though he read it, and looke quite
ouer, meane while let Conscience enter.

Sp168Simp.
Let me see coossen, for I can read:
Mas tis brauely done, didst thou it indeed?
Mistris Conscience, I haue a matter to bequest you too.

Sp169Con.
What ist? I doubt not but tis some wise thing if it be for you.

Sp170Simp.
Mary my cossen Sincerity, wad besire to scribe these papers here
That he may get some preferment, but I know not where.

Sp171Con.
Be these your letters?what would you haue me doe,and how shall
I call ye?

Sp172Sinc.
Lady, my name is Sinceritie.

Sp173Con.
And from whence came ye?

Sp174Sinc.
I came from Oxford, but in Cambridge I studied late,
Hauing nothing, thought good if I could, to make better my state.
But if I had in stead of Diuinitie, the Law, Astronomie, Astrologie,
Phisiognomie, Palmestrie, Arithmetike, Logicke, Musicke, Phisicke, or
any such thing,
I had not doubted then, but to haue had some better liuing.
But Diuines that preach the word of God sincerely and truly,
Are in these dayes little or nothing set by.
God grant the good Preachers be not taken away for our vnthankfulnes
There was neuer more preaching and lesse following, the people lyue so
amisse:
But what is he that may not on the Sabaath day attend to heare Gods (word?
But we wil rather run to bowls, sit at the alehouse, than one hour afford:
Telling a tale of Robin hood, sitting at Cards, playing at kettels, or some
other vaine thing.
That I feare Gods vengeance on your head it will bring.
God graunt amendment, but Lady Conscience I pray,
In my behalfe vnto Lucar do what ye may.

Sp175Simp.
Mas my coossen can say his booke well, I had not thought it,
Hes worthy to haue a benefice, and it will hit.

Sp176Con.
God be blessed Sinceritie, for the good comfort I haue of thee,
I would it lay in vs to pleasure such beleeue me.
We will do what we can: But vltra posse non et esse, you know.
It is Lucar that hath brought vs poore soules so low.
For we haue sould our house, we are brought so poore,
And feare by her shortly to be shut out of doore.
Yet to subscribe our name we will with all our hart,
Perchaunce for our sake some thing she will impart:
Come hither Simplicitie, let me write on thy backe.

Sp177Simp.
Here is the right picture of that fellow that sits in the corner.

Enter Hospitalitie while she is a writing.
Sp178Hospi.
Lady, me thinks you are busie.

Sp179Con.
I haue done sir, I was setting my hand to a letter to Lucar for our
friend
of the three Ladies of London
Sp180
freend Sinceritie.
But I would lady Loue were heere too.

Sp181Hosp.
She is at home with mee, but if it please you, so much in her be-
halfe ile doo.

Sp182Con.
I pray you hartily, and it shall suffise the turne well now:
Good Simplicitie, once more thy body do bow.

Sp183Simp.
I thinke youle make me serue to be a washing blocke for you.
I would do it for you, but am afraid yonder boy will mocke me.

Sp184Hos.
No ile warrant thee.

Sp185Con.
Here take thy letters Sinceritie, & prosperous be they to thee.

Sp186Sinc.
I yeeld you most hartie thanks my good lady.

Sp187Hosp.
L.LadyConscience, pleaseth it you to walke home and dine with me.

Sp188Con.
Thankes my good friend Hospitalitie,
But tell me sir, haue you inuited to dinner any straungers?

Sp189Hos.
No sure, none but lady Loue, and three or foure honestneighbors.

Sp190Simp.
Mas my lady is gotten to dinner already,
I beleeue she rose at ten of clocke she is so hungry.
What if I should come to dinner, is there any good cheare?

Sp191Hos.
Theres bread & beare, one ioynt of meat, & welcome thy best fare.

Sp192Simp.
Why, art thou cald Hospitalitie, & hast no better chear than that
Faith and thou hast no more meat for so many, theile nere be fat,
What if my coossen nay my selfe alone to dinner should come?
Where should my lady and the rest dine? for I would eat vp euerie crum.
Thou art an old miser doest thou keepe no better fare in thy house?
Hast no great bagge pudding, nor hogges face, that is called sowse

Sp193Hosp.
My friend, Hospitalitie doth not consiist in great fare and ban-
quetting,
But in doing good vnto the poore, and to yeeld them some refreshing.
Therefore if thou and Sinceritie will come and take part,
Such as there is ile giue you with a free and willing hart.

Exeunt Hospitalitie and Conscience.
Sp194Simp.
He speakes well coossen, lets go to dinner with him.
the olde man shall not thinke but we will pleasure him.
Faith he might haue richer fellowes to take his part,
But he shall neuer haue better eating fellowes if hee would swelte his
heart.
Here be they that will eate with the proudest of them.
For my mother said I could eate as much as fiue men.
Nay I am sure the gift of eating is giuen to me,
For our Maydes would neuer beleeue I put all the meate in my belly,
But yonder comes a knaue, my lady Lucars cogging man.
Giue me your letters coossen, ile prefer you if I can.
 
Enter Dissimulation.
Sp195Sinc.
Dissimulation, out vpon him, he shall be no spokeman for me.

Sp196Simp.
Why then you are a foole coossen Sinceritie,
Giue me am then, for I know hele do it for me.
C Seeing
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp197sinc.
Seeing thou wilt haue it, heere receiue it, but it greeues my hart
that this dissembling wretch should speake on my part.

Sp198simp.
Heare ye sir, I would request to liuer this letter.
to your good wholesome mistars lady Lucar.

Sp199Dissim.
Where hadst thou it tell me?

Sp200simp.
Mary of my coossen Sinceritie.

Sp201Dissim.
Why I haue nothing to do in it, tis not to me thou should come
I haue not to do with Sincerities matters, tis my fellow Symonies
roome.

Sp202sinc.
Thou art a kin to the lawyer, thou wilt do nothing without a fee,
But thou, Fraud, Usurie, nor yet Symonie shall haue nothing of me.
And thou wilt do it, do it, and thou wilt not chuse:
Both thee and their dealing I hate and refuse.

Sp203Dissim.
Why, and I am not bound to thee so farre as knaue go,
And therefore in despite of thee and thy coossen, there thy letters be.
What, thinkst thou by captious words to make me do it?
Let them deliuer your letters that hath a stomacke to it.

Sp204simp.
Faith coossen, hes such a testern and semblation knaue,
that hele do nothing les some bribery he haue.
Theres a great many such promoting knaues that gets their liuing.
With nothing els but facing, lying, swearing and flattering.
Why he has a face like a blacke dogge, and blusheth like the backe side of
a chimney.
Twas not for nothing thy Godfathers a cogging name gaue thee.

Enter Lady Lucar.
Sp205
But here comes his mistrisse lady Lucar,
Now coossen ile liuer your letter.
Mistrisse lady Lucar, heeres a letter for ye.

Sp206Lucar.
Hast thou a letter for me?

Sp207simp.
Yes by saint Marie.
How say you coossen, she reades your letter?
And you can flatter, perhaps you shall speed better.

Sp208sinc.
Thou speakst the truth Simplicitie, for flatterers now a dayes,
liue, Gentlemen-like, and with prating get praise.

Sp209Lucar.
Sir, I haue read the tenure of your letter, wherein I find,
that at the request of Loue and Conscience I should shew my selfe kinde,
And bestow some spirituall liuing on you, parsonage, or benefice,
For you stand greatly in need, as appeares by this.
And trust me would do for you, but it lies not in me,
For all such matters are referred to my seruant Symonie.
You must speake to him, and if you can get his good will,
then be sure of mine, their minds to fulfill.

Sp210sinc.
Lady, I shall neuer get his goodwill for want of abilitie,
For he will do nothing except one bring money.
And if you graunt it not, then it is past all doubt,
I shall be neuer the nearer, but go quite without.

Sp211Dissim .
Madam, ile tell you what you may giue,
Not
of the three Ladies of London
Sp212
Not hurting your selfe whereby he may liue,
And without my fellow Symonies consent,
Yf to follow my mind you are any whit bent.

Sp213Lucar.
Pray thee what is it? for thou knowest while for their house
I am bargaining,
And it be neuer so little, I must seeme to do something.

Sp214Dissim.
Why, haue not you the parsonage of S.Saint Nihil to bestow?
yf you giue him that, Symonie shall neuer know.

Sp215Lucar.
Thou saiest true indeed: draw neare Sinceritie,
Loe for their sakes I will bestow frankly on thee,
The parsonage of saint Nihil ile giue thee to pleasure them withall,
And such another to it, if thou watch till it fall.

Sp216simp.
My lady axes you when you will take possession of your house,
and lend the rest of the money.

Sp217Lucar.
What are they so hastie? belike they spent it merrily.

Sp218simp.
Faith no, for they would eate it if they could get it, when they
are a hungrie.
But you may be happy, for you haue sped wel to day(speaking to Sincerity
You may thanke God and good company that you came this way,
The parsonage of S.Saint Michels, bir Lady if you haue nothing els,
you shall be sure of a liuing, beside a good ring of Bels.
Coossen, ile tell thee what thou shalt do, sell the bels and make money,

Sp219sinc.
Thou maiest well be Simplicitie for thou shewest thy folly.
I haue a parsonage, but of what? of saint Nihil, and Nihil is nothing.
Then where is the Church, or any Bels for to ring?
Thou vnderstandest her not, she was set for to flout,
I thought comming in their names I should go without,
Tis easie to see that Lucar loues not Loue and Conscience:
But God I trust will one day yeeld her iust recompence.

Sp220simp.
Coossen, you said that some thing to me you would giue,
When you had gotten preferment of Lucar to liue:
And I trust you will remember your poore coossen simplicitie,
you know to lady Conscience and ery body I did speake for you.

Sp221sinc.
Good Simplicitie hold thy peace, my state is yet nought,
I will helpe thee sure, if euer I get ought.
But here comes sir Nicholas Nemo, to him I will go,
And see if for their sakes he will any thing bestow.

Enter sir Nicholas Nemo.
Sp222Nemo.
You come from Loue and Conscience, seemeth me here,
My speciall good friends, whom I account of most deare,
And you are called Sinceritie, your state shews the same,
you are welcome to me for their sakes, and for your owne name,
And for their sakes you shall see what I will do for you,
without Dissimulation, Fraud, Usurie, or Symonie:
For they will do nothing without some kind of gaine,
such cankered corruption in their harts doth remaine.
But come in to dinner with me, and when you haue dinde,
C2 you
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp223
you shall haue.
Presently go out.
Sp224Sinc.
You shall haue, but what? a liuing that is blowne downe with
the winde.

Sp225Simp.
Now cossen dismember your frends, seeing two liuings you haue
One that this man promist and another that lady Lucar gaue.
Mas youl be a iolly man and you had three or foure more,
Lets beg apace coossen, and we shall get vs great store.
Do thou get some more letters, and ile get them scribed of mistars Loue
and Conscience,
And wele go beg liuings together, wele beg no small pence.
How saiest thou coossen wut do so mich?
If we can speake faire and semble, we shall be plaguie rich.

Sp226sinc.
Good Simplicitie content thee, I am neuer the better for this.
But of force must leaue off, s oeing how vaine it is:
Nor bootes it Sinceritie to looke for reliefe.
So few regard that to me is a greefe.
This was Nicholas Nemo, and no man hath no place.
then how can I speed well in this kind of case?
And no man bid me to dinner, when shall I dine?
Or how shall I find him, where, when, and at what time?
Wherefore the reliefe had and to be had is small,
But to speake truth, the reliefe is nothing at all.
But come Simplicitie, let vs go see what may be had,
Sinceritie in these daies was sure borne to be sad.

Sp227Simp.
Come lets go to dinner coossen, for the Gentleman I think hath
almost dinde.
But if I get vittels inough ile warrant you ile not be behind.

Sp228sinc.
What if thou canst not get it, then how wilt thou eate?

Sp229simp.
Mary on this fashion, with both hands at once, ye shall see when
I get meate.

Sp230sinc.
why his name was Nemo and Nemo hath no beeing.

Sp231simp.
I beleeue coossen you be not hungry, that you stand prating.
Faith ile go do him a pleasure because he hath need.
Why and hele needs haue meate eate, a shall see how ile feed.
I beleeue he will not bid me come againe to him,
Mas and he do, a shall find a fellow that has his eating.

Exeunt ambo.
Enter Vsurie and Conscience.
Sp232Vsu.
Lady Conscience, is there any body within your house can you
tell?

Sp233Con.
There is no body at all be ye sure. I know certainely well.

Sp234Vsu.
You know when one comes to take possession of any peece of land
There must not be one within, for against the order of lawe it doth
stand.
Therefore I thought good to aske you, but I pray you thinke not a-
misse:
For both you, and almost all other knowes, that an old custome it is,
You
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp235Con.
You say truth, take possession when you please, good leaue haue ye
Doubt you not, there is neither man, woman, nor child, that will or shall
hinder you.

Sp236Vsu.
Why then I will boldly enter.
Exit.
Sp237Con.
Who is more bold than Usurie to venter?
He maketh the matter dangerous where is no need at all,
But he thinks it not perillous to seeke euery mans fall:
Both he and Lucar hath so pincht vs, we know not what to doe,
Were it not for Hospitalitie, we knew not whither to goe.
Great is the miserie that we poore ladyes abide,
And much more is the crueltie of Lucar and Usury beside.
O Conscience, thou art not accounted of, O Loue, thou art little set by,
For almost euery one, true loue, and pure conscience doth denie:
So hath Lucar crept vnto the bosome of man, woman and child,
That euery one doth practise his deare friend to beguile.
But God graunt Hospitalitie be not by them ouer prest,
In whom all our stay and chiefest comfort doth rest:
But Usurie hates Hospitalitie and cannot him abide,
Because he for the poore and comfortlesse doth prouide.
Here he comes, that hath vndone many an honest man,
And daily seeks to destroy, deface, and bring to ruine if he can.
Now sir, haue you tooke possession as your deare lady wild you?
 
Enter Vsurie.  
Sp238Vsu.
I haue done, and I thinke you haue receiued your money,
But this to you: my lady wild me to bid you prouide some other house
out of hand,
For she would not by her will haue Loue and Conscience to dwell on
her land:
Therefore tis best to prouide ye?
So shall you saue charges, for a lesse house may serueye:

Sp239Con.
I pray you hartily let vs stay there, and we will be content
to giue you tenne pound a yeare, which is the olde rent.

Sp240Vsu.
Ten pound a yeare, that were a stale feast,
Yf I should take the olde rent to follow your request:
Nay after fortie pound a yeare you shall haue it for a quarter,
And you may thinke too, you are befriended in this matter:
But no longer than for a quarter to you ile set it,
For my lady perhaps will sell it, or to some other wil let it.

Sp241Con.
Well, sith we are driuen to this hard and bitter drift,
We accept it, and are contented to make bare and hard shift.

Sp242Vsu.
Then get you gone, and see at a day your rent be readie.

Sp243Con.
We must haue patience perforce, seeing there is no remedie.

Exit Conscience.
Sp244Vsu.
What a foole was I to let it so reasonable?
I might so well haue had after threescore, as such a trifle,
C 3 For
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp245
For seeing they were distressed they would haue giuen largely
I was a right sot, but ile be ouerseene no more beleeue me.
 
Enter Mercadore.  
Sp246Merca.
Ah my good a friend M.Master Usurie, be my trot you be very well
mette:
Me be mush beholding to you for your good will, me be in your debt.
But a me take a your part so mich against a scal shurle cald Hospitalitie:
Did speake against you, and sayes you bring good honest men to beggery.

Sp247Vsu.
I thanke you sir, did he speake such euill of me as now you say?
I doubt not but to reward him for his trechery one day.

Sp248Merca.
But I pray tell a me how fare a my lady all dis while?

Sp249Vsu.
Marie well sir, and here she comes if my selfe I do not beguile.
 
Enter Lucar.  
Sp250Luc.
What seneor Mercadore, I haue not seene you this many a day,
I maruell what is the cause you kept so long away

Sp251Merca.
Shall me say to you Madama, dat me haue had such businesse
for you in hand,
For send away good commodities out of dis little countrey England:
Mee haue now sent ouer brasse, copper pewter, and many odar ting,
And for dat me sall ha for Gentlewomans fine trifles, that great profit
will bring.

Sp252Lucar.
I perceiue you haue beene mindfull of me,for which I thanke
yee:
But Usurie tell me, how haue you sped in that you went about?

Sp253Vsu.
Indifferently Lady, you need not to doubt,
I haue taken possession, and because they were destitute,
I haue let it for a quarter my tale to conclude.
Marry I haue a little raised the rent, but it is but after forty pound by the yeare:
But if it were to let now, would let it more deare.

Sp254Luc
Indeed it is but a triffle, it makes no matter,
I force it not greatly, being but for a quarter.

Sp255Merca.
Madona me a you vat you sall do, let dem to straunger dat
are content,
To dwell in a little roome, and pay mush rent:
For you know da Frenchmans and Flemings in dis country be many,
So dat they make shift to be ten houses in one very gladly.
And be content a for pay fiftie or threescore pound a yeare,
For dat which da Englishmans say twenty marke is too deare.

Sp256Luc.
Why seneor Mercadore, thinke you not that I
Haue infinite numbers in London that my want doth supply.
Beside in Bristow, Northampton, Norwich, Westchester, Canterbury,
Douer, Sandwich, Rie, Porchmouth, Plimmouth, and many mo,
That
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp257
That great rents vpon little roome do bestow.
Yes I warrant you,and truly I may thanke the straungers for this,
That they haue made houses so deare, whereby I liue in blisse.
But seneor Mercadore, dare you to trauell vndertake:
And go amongst the Moores, Turkes, and Pagans for my sake?

Sp258Merca.
Madona, me dare go to de Turkes, Moores, Pagans, and
more too,
What do me care and me go to da great deuill for you.
Commaund a me Madona and you sall see plaine,
Data for your sake me refusa no paine.

Sp259Luc.
Then seneor Mercadore I am forthwith to send yee
From hence, to search for some new toyes in Barbary or in Turkie,
Such trifles as you thinke will please wantons best:
For you know in this country tis their chiefest request.

Sp260Merca.
Indeed de Gentlewomans heere buy so mush vaine toyes,
Dat me straungers laugh a to tinke wherein da haue deir ioyes.
Fait Madona me will search all da strange countries me can tell,
But me will haue sush tings dat please dese Gentlewomans veil.

Sp261Luc.
Why then let vs prouide things ready to hast you away.

Sp262Merca.
I voutro commaundemento Madona me obay.

Exeunt.  
Enter Symonie, and Peter Pleaseman like a Priest.  
Sp263Sym.
Now proceed with thy tale and ile heare thee.

Sp264Peter.
And so sir as I was about to tell you,
This same Presco, and this some Cracko, be both my parishioners now,
And sir they fell out maruellously about you:
The same Cracko tooke your part, and said that the Clergie
Was maintained by you, and vpholden very worshipfully.
So sir, Presco he would not graunt that in any case,
But said that you did corrupt the clergie, and dishonor that holy place.
Now sir I was weary to heare them at such great strife,
For I loue to please men so long as I haue life:
Therefore I beseech your maistership to speake to Lady Lucar,
That I may be her Chaplaine, or else to serue her.

Sp265Sym.
What is your name?

Sp266Peter.
Sir Peter.

Sp267Sym.
What more?

Sp268Peter.
Forsooth Pleaseman.

Sp269Sym.
Then your name is sir Peter Pleaseman.

Sp270Peter.
Yea forsooth.

Sp271Sym.
And please woman too now and than,

Sp272Peter.
You know that homo is indifferent.

Sp273sym.
Now surely a good scholler in my iudgement,
I pray you of what Uniuersitie were ye?

Sp274Peter.
Of no Uniuersitie truely.
C4 Mary
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp275
Mary I haue gone to schoole in a Colledge, where I haue studied two
or three places of Diuinitie:
And all for lady Lucars sake, sir you may stedfastly beleeue me.

Sp276Sym.
Nay I beleeue ye but of what religion are you can ye tell?

Sp277Peter.
Mary sir of all religions, I know not my selfe very well.

Sp278Symo.
You are a Protestant now, and I thinke to that now wil grant

Sp279Peter.
Indeed I haue beene a Catholicke, mary now for the most part
a Protestant.
But and if my seruice may please her, harke in your eare sir,
I warrant you my religion shall not offend her.

Sp280symo.
You say well, but if I helpe you to such great preferment,
Would you be willing for my paine,
I shall haue yearely halfe the gaine.
For it to reason you know that if I helpe you to a liuing,
That you should vnto me be somewhat beholding,

Sp281Peter.
Yea sir, and reason good, ile be as your mastership please,
I care not what you do, so I may liue at ease.

Sp282Sym.
Then this man is answered, sir Peter pleasman come with me,
And ile preferre you straight way to my ladie.

Sp283Peter.
Oh sir I thanke ye.
Exeunt.  
Enter Simplicitie with a basket on his arms.  
Sp284Simp.
You thinke I am going to market to buy rost meat, do ye not?
But see how you are deceiued, for well I wot,
I am neither going to the Butchers to buy mutton, veale nor beefe,
But am going to a bloudsucker, and who is it? faith Usurie that theefe.
Why sirs, twas no marckle he vndood my father that was called Plaine
dealing,
When he has vndone my Lady and Conscience too with his vsuring.
Trust him not sirs, for hele flatter bonacion and sore,
till he has gotten the Bakers vauntage, then hele turne you out of doore.
 
Enter Dissimulation.  
Sp285Dissim.
Simplicitie, now of mine honestie very hartily well met,

Sp286simp.
What Semblation sweare not, for thou swearest by that thou
couldst neuer get:
Thou haue honestie now? thy honestie is quite gone:
Mary thou hadst honestie at xi of clocke, but it went from you ere noone:
Why, how canst thou haue honestie, when it dare not come me thee?
I warrant Semblation, he that has lesse honestie than thou, may
defie thee:
thou hast honestie sirreuerence, come out dogge, where art thou?
Euen as much honestie as hath my mothers great hoggish sow:
No faith thou maist put out mine eye with honestie, & thou hadst it here,
Hast not left it at the alehouse in gage for a pot of strong beere?
Pray
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp287Dissim.
Pray thee leaue prating Simplicitie, and tell me what thou
hast there?

Sp288Simp.
Why, tis nothing for thee, thou doest not deale with such kinde
of ware.
Sirra there is no beceit in a bag pudding, is there?nor in a plaine pud-
ding pie:
Sirra ile tell thee, I will not tell thee, and yet ile tell thee, now I mem-
ber me too:
Canst tell, or wouldst know whither with this parlament I go?
Faith euen to sickswill thy fellow Usurie I am sent,
With my lady Loues gowne, and lady Conscience too, for a quarter-
rent.

Sp289Dissim.
Alas poore lady Loue, art thou driuen so low?
Some little pittance on thee ile bestow.
Hold Simplicitie, carry her three or foure Duckats from me.
And commend me to her euen very hartily.

Sp290simp.
Ducke egges, yes ile carry them, and twere as many as this
would holde.

Sp291Dissim.
Tush thou knowest not what I meane, take this, tis golde.

Sp292simp.
Mas tis gold indeed, why, wilt lend away thy golde, hast thou
no more need?
I thinke thou art growne plaguy rich with thy dissembling trade,
But ile carry my ladie the gold for this will make her well apaid.

Sp293Dissim.
And sir; a,carry lady Loues gowne backe againe, for my fel-
low Usurie
Shall not haue her gowne, I am sure so much he will befriend me.

Sp294simp.
But what shal Conscience gown do, shall I carry it backe again (too?

Sp295Dissim.
Nay, let Conscience gowne and skin to Usurie go.
If no body cared for Conscience more than I,
They would hang her vp like bacon in a chimney to drie.

Sp296simp.
Faith I told thee thou caredst not for Conscience nor honesttie:
I thinke indeed it will neuer be the death of thee.
But ile go conspatch my arrant so s oone as I can tell ye,
For now I ha gold, I would faine haue some good meat in my belly,

Exit.
Sp297Dissim.
Nay ile hie me after, that I may send back lady Loues gown.
For I would not haue Loue bought quite out of towne.
Mary for Conscience tut, I care not two strawes,
Why I should take care for her, I know no kind of cause.
Exit.
Enter Hospitalitie.
Sp298Hosp.
Oh what shall I say? Usurie hath vndone mee, and now he
hates me to the death.
And seekes by all meanes possible for to bereaue me of breath.
I cannot rest in any place, but he hunts and followes me euery where.
That I know no place to abide, I liue so much in feare.
But out alas, here comes he that will shorten my daies,

Enter Vsurie. D Vsu.
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp299Vsu.
O haue I caught your olde gray beard, you be the man whome
the people so praise:
You are a franke Gentleman, and full of liberalitie.
Why, who had all the praise in London or England, but M.Master Hospitality?
But ile maister you now ile hold you a groat.

Sp300Hos.
What will you kill me?

Sp301Vsu.
No, ile do nothing but cut thy throate.

Sp302Hos.
O helpe, helpe, helpe for Gods sake.

Enter Conscience running apace.
Sp303Con.
What lamentable crie was that I heard one make?

Sp304Hos.
O lady Conscience, now or neuer helpe me.

Sp305Con.
Why, what wilt thou do with him Usurie?

Sp306Vsu.
What will I do with him?mary cut his throat, and then no more

Sp307Con.
O doest thou not remember that thou shalt dearly answer for
Hospitalitie that good member, refraine it therefore.

Sp308Vsu.
Refraine me no refraining nor answere me no answering.
The matter is answered well inough in this thing,

Sp309Con.
For Gods sake spare him, for cuntry sake spare him, for pitie sake
spare him, for Loue sake spare him, for Conscience sake forbeare him.

Sp310Vsu.
Let cuntry, pittie, Loue, Conscience, & all go in respect of my selfe,
He shall die, come ye feeble wretch, ile dresse ye like an elfe.

Sp311Con.
But yet Usurie, consider the lamentable crie of the poore,
For lacke of Hospitalitie, fatherlesse children are turned out of doore.
Consider againe the complaint of the sicke, blind and lame,
That will crie vnto the Lord for vengeance on thy head in his name.
Is the feare of God so farre from thee that thou hast no feeling at all?
O repent Usurie, leaue Hospitalitie, and for mercie at the Lords hands
call.

Sp312Vsu.
Leaue prating Conscience, thou canst not mollifie my hart,
He shall in despite of theee and all other feele his deadly smart.
Yet ile not commit the murther openly,
But hale the villaine into a corner, and so kill him secretly.
Come ye miserable drudge, and receiue thy death.

Hale him in.
Sp313Hos.
Helpe good lady, helpe, he will stop my breath.

Sp314Con.
Alas I would helpe thee, but I haue not the power.

Sp315Hos.
Farewell lady Conscience, you shall haue Hospitalitie in London
nor England no more.

Sp316Con.
O helpe, helpe helpe some good bodie.

Enter Dissimulation and Simplicitie hastily.
Sp317Dissim.
Who is that calles for helpe so hastily?

Sp318Con.
Out alas thy fellow Usurie hath killed Hospitalitie.

Sp319Simp.
Now Gods blessing on his heart, why twas time he were dead,
He was an olde churle, with neuer a good tooth in his head.
And he nere kept no good cheare that I could see:
For if one had not come at dinner time, hee should haue gone away
hungrie.
I
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp320
I could neuer get my belly full of meat,
he had nothing but beefe, bread and cheese for me to eate.
Now I would haue had some Pyes or bag puddings with great lumps
of fat:
But he did keepe my mouth well enough from that.
Faith and he be dead, he is dead, let him go to the deuill and he will.
Or if he will not go thither, let him euen lie there still.
Ile nere make a lamentation for an olde churlde,
For he has liude a great while, and now tis time that he were out of the
worlde.
 
Enter Lucar.
Sp321Luc.
What Conscience, thou lookst like a poore pidgeon puld of late.

Sp322Con.
What Lucar, thou lookst like a whore full of deadly hate.

Sp323Luc.
Alas Conscience, I am sorie for thee, but cannot weepe.

Sp324Con.
Alas Lucar, I am sorie for thee that thou canst no honestie keep:
But such as thou art,such are thy attenders on thee,
As appeares by thy seruant Usurie, that hath killed that good member Hospitalitie.

Sp325Simp.
Faith Hospitalitie is killed and hath made his will,
And hath giuen Dissimulation three trees vpon a high hill.

Sp326Luc.
Come hither Dissimulation, and hie you hence so fast as you may
And helpe thy fellow Usurie to conuey himselfe out of the way,
Further, will the Justices, if they chaunce to see him, not to know him,
Or know him not by any meanes to hinder him.
And they shall commaund thrise so much at my hand.
Go trudge, runne out away, how doest thou stand?

Sp327Dissim.
Nay good lady, send my fellow Simonie,
For I haue an earnest suite to ye.

Sp328Luc.
Then Symonie go do what I haue wild.

Sp329Sym.
I runne Madam your mind shall be fulfild.
exit.
Sp330Con.
Well well Lucar, audeo & taceo, I see and say nothing:
But I feare the plague of God on thy head it will bring.

Sp331Disim.
Good lady graunt that Loue be your waiting maid,
For I thinke beeing brought so low, she will be well apaid.

Sp332Luc.
Speakest thou in good earnest, or doest thou but dissemble?
I know not how to haue thee, thou art so variable.

Sp333Dissim.
Lady, though my name be Dissimulation, yet I speake bona
fide now.
Yf it please you my petitions to allow.
 
Enter Symonie.
Sp334Luc.
Stand by, ile answere thee anon: what newes Symonie
Bringest thou of thy fellowe Usurie?

Sp335Sym.
Mary madam good newes: for Usurie lies close
Hid in a rich mans house, that will not let him lose,
Untill they see the matter brought to a good ende,
D2
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp336
For Usurie in this countrey hath many a good friend:
And late I saw Hospitalitie carried to buryeng.

Sp337Luc.
I pray thee tell me who were they that followed him?

Sp338sym.
There were many of the clergie and many of the nobilitie.
And many right worshipfull rich Cittizens,
Substantiall, gratious and very wealthie Farmars.
But to see how the poore followed him it was a wonder,
Neuer yet at any buriall was seene such a number.

Sp339Luc.
But what say the people to the murder?

Sp340sym.
Many are sorry, and say tis great pittie that he was slaine:
But who be they? the poore beggarly people that so complaine:
As for the other they say twas a cruell bloudy fact,
But I perceiue none will hinder the murderer for this cruell act.

Sp341Luc.
Tis well, I am glad of it, now Dissimulation if thou canst get
Loues good will.
I am contented with all my heart to graunt there vntill.

Sp342Dissim.
Thankes to you ladie, and I doubt not but she
With a little intreatie will thereto agree.

Sp343simp
Now I haue it in my breeches, and very well can tell,
That I and my ladie with mistars Lucar shall dwell.
But if I be her seruing fellow, and dwell there,
I must learne to cog lie, foyst and sweare.
And surely I shall neuer learne, marie and twere to lie a bed all day,
To that kind of lying I should giue a good say.
Or if twere to eate ones meat, then I knew what for to do.
How say you sirra, can I not, ile be drudge by you?

Sp344Luc.
Now to you little mouse, did I not tell you before.
That I should ere twere long turne you both out of doore?
How say you pretie louse, ist come to passe, yea or no?
Me thinkes I haue puld your peacockes plumes somewhat low.
And yet you be so stout as though you felt no griefe,
But ere it be long you will come puling to me for reliefe.

Sp345Con.
Well Lucar well, you know pride will haue a fall:
What auaileth it thee to win the world, and loose thy soule withall?
Yet better it is to liue with little, and keepe a conscience cleare.
Which is to God a sacrifice, and accounted of most deare.

Sp346Luc.
Nay Conscience, and you be bookish ile leaue ye,
And the cold ground to comfort your feet ile bequeath ye.
Me thinke you being so deeply learned, may do well to keepe a schoole.
Why, I haue seene so cunning a Clarke in time to proue a foole.

Exeunt Lucar and Symonie.
Sp347Simp.
Sirra, if thou shouldst marry my Lady thou wouldst keepe her (braue,
For me thinkes thou art a plaguie rich knaue.

Sp348Dissim.
Rich I am, but as for knaue keepe to thy selfe.
Come giue me my Ladies gowne thou asseheaded elfe.

Sp349simp.
Why ile go with thee, for I must dwell with my Lady.

Sp350Dissim.
Packe hence away, Iacke Drums entertainment, the wil none
of
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp351
of thee.
Exit.
Sp352Simp.
This is as my coossen and I went to M.Master Nemos house,
There was no man to bid a dog drinke, or to change a man a louse.
But lady Conscience (nay who there scratch that name away,
Can she be a lady that is turned out of all her array?
Do not be cald no more lady, and if you be wise,
For euery bodie will mocke you, and say you be not woorth two butter(flies.

Sp353Con.
What remedie Simplicitie? I cannot do withall:
But what shall we go do? or whereto shall we fall?

Sp354Simpl.
Why, to our vittails, what else haue we to do?
And marke if I cannot eate twenty times so much as you.

Sp355Con.
Yf I go lie in an Inne, it will greeue me to see,
The deceit of the Ostler, the powling of the Tapster, as in most houses
of lodging they be,
If in a brewers house, at the ouer plentie of water, and scarcenes of male
I should greeue,
Wherby to enrich themselues, all other with vnsauory thinne drinke they
deceiue.
If in a Tanners house, with his great deceit in tanning,
If in a Weauers house, with his great coosening in weauing.
If in a Bakers house, with light bread, and very euill working.
If in a Chaundlers with deceitfull weights, false measures, selling for a
halfepeny that is scant worth a farthing.
And if in an Alehouse, with the great resort of poore vnthrifts, that with
swearing at the Cardes consume their liues,
Hauing greater delight to spend a shilling that way, than a groat at
home to sustaine their needie children and wiues.
For which I iudge it best for me to get some solitary place,
where I may with patience this my heauie crosse imbrace,
And learne to sell broome, whereby to get my liuing,
Using that as a quiet meane to keepe my selfe from begging:
wherefore Simplicitie if thou wilt do the like.
settle thy selfe to it,and with true labour thy liuing do seeke.

Exit Conscience.
Sp356Simp.
No faith M.Mistress Conscience ile not for and I should sell broome,
the Maides would coossen me too competually with their olde shoone.
And too I cannot worke, and you would hang me out of the way.
For when I was a miller, Will did grind the meale while I did play.
Therefore ile haue as easie an occupation as I had when my Father
was aliue,
Faith ile go euen a begging, why tis a good trade a man shall be sure to
thriue.
For I am sure my praiers will get bread and cheese, and my singing wit
get me drinke.
Then shall not I do better than M.MistressConscience? tell me as you thinke.
Therefore God Pan in the kitchin, and God Pot in the buttery,
Come and resist me, that I may sing with the more meliositie.
D3 But
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie

But sirs, marke my cauled countenance when I begin,
But yonder is a fellow that gapes to bite me, or els to eate that which
I sing.
Why thou art a foole, canst not thou keepe thy mouth strait together?
And when it comes snap at it as my fathers dogge wod do-at a liuer.
But thou art so greedie,
That thou thinkest to eate it before it come nie thee.

Simplicitie singes.
Sp357
Simplicitie sings, and sperience doth proue,
No biding in London for Conscience and Loue.  
 The Country hath no peare,
 Where Conscience comes not once a yeare:
 And Loue so welcome to euery towne,
 as winde that blowes the houses downe.
 Sing downe adowne, downe, downe, downe.
Simplicitie sings it, and sperience doth proue,
No dwelling in London, no biding in London for Conscience and Loue.
 
Sp358Simp.
Now sirra, hast eaten vp my song? and ye haue ye shall eate no
more to day,
For euery body may see your belly is growne bigger with eating vp our
play.
e has fild his belly but I am neuer a whit the better,
Therefore ile go seeke some vittels, and member for eating vp my song
you shall be my debter.

Enter Mercadorus the Merchant, and Gerontus a Iewe.
Sp359Geron,
But seneor Mercadorus tell me, did ye serue me well or no?
That hauing gotten my money would seeme the country to forgo:
You know I lent you two thousand duckats for three monthes space,
And ere the time came you got another thousand by flatterie, and thy
smooth face.
So when the time came that I should haue receiued my money,
You were not to be found, but were fled out of the countrey,
Surely if we that be Iewes should deale so one with an other.
we should not be trusted againe of our owne brother
But many of you Christians make no conscience to falsifie your faith
and breake your day.
I should haue beene paid at three monthes end, and now it is two yeare you haue beene away.
Well I am glad you be come againe to Turkie now I trust I shall re-
ceiue the interest of you so well as the principall

Sp360Merca.
A good a maister Geronto pray hartly bare a me a little while,
And me shall pay ye all without any deceit or guile:
Me haue much businesse for buy pretie knacks to send to England.
Good sir, beare a me foure fiue daies, mele dispatch your money out of
hand.
Seneor
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp361Geron.
Seneor Mercadore, I know no reason why, because you haue
dealt with me so ill,
Sure you did it not for need, but of set purpose and will:
And to beare with ye foure or fiue dayes goes sore against my mind.
Least you should steale away, and forget to leaue my money behind.

Sp362Merca.
Pra hartly do tink no such ting my good friend a me,
Be me trot and fait mele pay you all euery peny.

Sp363Geron.
Ile take your faith and troth once more, & trust to your honesty
In hope that for my long tarrying you will deale wel with me.
Tell me what good ware for England you do lacke

Sp364Merca.
O no lacke some pretie fine toy, or some fantasticke new knack
For da Gentlewomans in England buy mush tings for fantasie:
You pleasure a me sir, vat me meane a dare buy.

Sp365Geron.
I vnderstand you sir, but keepe tutch with me, and ile bring
you to great store.
Such as I know you came to this country for:
As Muske, Amber, sweete Powders, fine odors pleasant perfumes,
and many such toyes,
Wherein I perceiue consisteth that country Gentlewomans ioyes.
Besides I haue Diamonds, Rubies, Emerodes, Saphires, Smara-
dines, Opalles Onackes, Iacynthes, Aggattes, Turkasir, and almost
of all kind of pretious stones:
And many fit things to sucke money from such greene headed wantons.

Sp366Merca.
Fatta me good friend me tanke you most hartly alway.
Me shall a content your debt within dis two or tree day.

Sp367Geron.
Well, see you hold your promise, and another time you shall
commaund me.
Come, go we home, where our commodities you may at pleasure see.

Enter Conscience, with broomes at her backe, sing-
ing as followeth.
 
Sp368
New broomes, greene broomes, will you buy any,
Come maidens, come quickly, let me take a penny.


My broomes are not steeped;
but very well bound:
My broomes be not crooked,
but smooth cut and round.
I wish it should please you
to buy of my broome,
Then would it well ease me,
if market were done.
Haue you any olde bootes,
or any olde shooes:
Pouch rings or Buskins.
to cope for new broome,
If so you haue maydens,
I pray you bring hither:
That you and I friendly
may bargen together.  
New broomes, greene broomes, will you buy any:
Come Maydens, come quickly, let me take a penny.
D4 Consci.
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie
Conscience speaketh.
Sp369
Thus am I driuen to make a vertue of necessitie,
And seeing God almightie will haue it so, I imbrace it thankfully:
Desiring God to mollifie and lesten Usuries hard heart,
That the poore people feele not the like penurie and smart:
But Usurie is made tollerable amongst Christians as a necessary thing
So that going beyond the limits of our law, they extort, and manie to
miserie bring.
But if we should follow Gods law, we should not receiue aboue that we
lend.
For if we lend for reward how can we say we are our neighbors frend?
O how blessed shall that man be that leads without abuse:
But thrise accursed shall he be that greatly couets vse:
For he that couets ouer much insaciate is his minde,
So that to periurie and crueltie he wholly is inclinde:
Wherewith they sore oppresse the poore, by diuers sundrie waies,
Which makes them crie vnto the Lord to shorten cutthrotes dayes:
Paule calleth them theeues that doth not giue the needie of their store,
And thrise accurst are they that take one penny from the poore,
But while I stand reasoning thus I forget my market cleane,
And sith God hath ordained this way, I am to vse the meane.
 
Sing againe.  
Sp370
Haue ye any olde shoes, or haue ye any bootes, haue ye any buskins, or will
ye buy any broome.
Who bargens or chops with Conscience, what will no customer come?
 
Enter Vsurie.
Sp371Vsu.
Who is it that cries broomes, what Conscience selling broomes
about the street?

Sp372Con.
What Usurie, it is great pittie thou art vnhanged yet.

Sp373Vsu.
Beleeue me Conscience, it greeues me thou art brought so low.

Sp374Con.
Beleue me Usurie it greeues me thou wast not hanged long ago
For if thou hadst beene hanged before thou slewest Hospitalitie,
Thou hadst not made me and thousands more to feele the like pouertie.

Enter Lucar.
Sp375Luc.
Me thought I heard one crie broomes along the dore.

Sp376Vsu.
I mary Madam it was Conscience, who seemes to be offended
at me verie sore.

Sp377Luc.
Alas Conscience art thou become a poore broome wife?

Sp378Con.
Alas Lucar, wilt thou continue a harlot all dayes of thy life?

Sp379Luc.
Alas me thinks it is a griefe to thee that thou art so poore.

Sp380Con.
Alas Lucar, me thinkes it is no paine to thee that thou still
plaiest the whore.

Sp381Luc.
Well well Conscience, that sharpe tongue of thine hath not beene
thy furtherance.
If
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp382
If thou hadst kept thy tongue, thou hadst kept thy friend, and not haue
had such hinderance.
But wottest thou who shall be married to morrow?
Loue with my Dissimulation:
For I thinke to bid the gesse, they are by this time well nie gone,
And hauing occasion to buy brooms, I care not if I buy them all.

Sp383Con.
Then giue me a shilling, and with a good will haue them you
shall.

Sp384Luc.
Usurie, carry in these broomes, and giue them to the mayd.
For I know of such store she will be well apaid.
Exit Vsurie vvith the broomes.
Hold Conscience, though thy broomes be not worth a quarter so much,
Yet to giue thee a peece of gold I do it not grutch:
And if thou wouldst follow my mind, thou shouldst not liue in such sort.
But passe thy daies with pleasure store of euery kind of sport.

Sp385Con.
I thinke you lead the world in a string, for euery body followes
you,
And sith euery one doth it, why may not I do it too:
For that I see your free heart and great liberalitie,
I maruell not that all people are so willing to follow ye.

Sp386Luc.
Then sweet soule, marke what I would haue thee do for me,
That is to decke vp thy poore Cottage hansomely:
And for that purpose I haue fiue thousand crownes in store,
And when it is spent thou shalt haue twise so much more.
But onely see thy roomes be neat when I shall thither resort,
With familiar friends to passe the time in sport:
For the Deputie, Constable, and spitefull neighbors do spie, prie, and eye
about my house:
That I dare not be once merrie within, but still mute like a mouse.

Sp387Con.
My good ladie Lucar, I will fulfill your mind in euery kind of
thing.
So that you shall be welcome at all houres, whosoeuer you bring.
And all the dogs in the towne shall not barke at your doings I trow,
For your full pretence and intent I do throughly know,
Euen so well as if you had opened the very secrets of your hart,
For which I doubt not but to rest in your fauour by my desart.
But here comes your man Usurie.
 
Enter Vsurie.
Sp388Luc.
Ile send him home for the money.
Usurie, steppe in and bring mee the boxe of all abhomination that stands
in the windowe:
It is little and round, painted with diuers colours, and is pretty to the
show.

Sp389Vsu.
Madam, is there any superscription thereon?

Sp390Luc.
Haue I not tolde you the name: for shame get you gone.
Well my wench, I doubt not but our pleasures shall excell,
E Seeing
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp391
Seeing thou hast got a corner fit where few neighbors dwell,
And they be of the poorest sort which fits our turne so right:
Because they dare not speake against our sports and sweet delight,
And if they should (alas) their wordes would nought at all be wayd,
And for to speake before my face, they will be all afraid.
 
Enter Vsurie with a painted Boxe of ynke
in his hande.
 
Sp392Vsu.
Madam, I deeme this same be it, so farre as I can gesse.

Sp393Luc.
Thou saiest the truth, tis it in deed, the outside shewes no lesse.
But Usurie I thinke Dissimulation hath not seene you since your com-
ming home,
therefore go see him, he will reioice when to him you are showne.
It is a busie time with him, helpe to further him if you can.

Sp394Vsu.
He may commaund me to attend at boord to be his man.

Exit Vsurie.  
Here let Lucar open the Boxe, and dip her finger in it, and
spot Conscience face, saying as followeth.
 
Sp395Luc.
Hold here my sweet, and then ouer to see what doth want,
the more I do behold this face, the more my mind doth vaunt:
This face is of fauour, these cheekes are reddy and white,
these lips are cherrie red, and full of deepe delight,
Quicke rowling eyes, her temples high,and forhead white as snow,
Her eye-browes seemely set in frame, with dimpled chinne below:
O how beautie hath adorned thee with euery seemly hue,
In limmes, in lookes, with all the rest proportion keeping due:
Sure I haue not seene a finer soule in euery kind of part,
I cannot chuse but kisse thee with my lips, that loue thee with my
heart.

Sp396Con.
I haue told the crownes, and here are iust so many as you to me
did say.

Sp397Luc.
Then when thou wilt thou maiest depart, and homewards take
thy way,
And I pray thee make haste in decking of thy rome,
that I may find thy lodging fine, when with my friend I come.

Sp398Con.
Ile make speed, and where I haue with broomes ofttimes been
roming:
I meane henceforth not to be seene, but sitte to watch your comming.
 
Exit Conscience.  
Sp399Luc.
O how ioyfull may I be, that such successe doe finde,
No maruell, for pouertie and desire of Lucar do force them followe my
minde
Now
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp400
Now may I reioice in full contentation,
That shall marry Loue with Dissimulation:
And haue spotted Conscience with all abhomination,
But I forget my selfe, for I must to the wedding,
Both vauntingly and flauntingly, although I had no bidding.

Exit Lucar.  
Enter Dissimulation and Coggin his man,
and Symonie.
 
Sp401Cog.
Sir, although you be my maister, I would not haue you to vp-
brayd my name,
But I would haue you vse the right skill and title of the same:
For my name is neither scoggin nor scragging, but ancient Coggin:
Sir my ancestors were fiue of the foure worthies,
And your selfe are of my neare kinne.

Sp402Dissim.
Indeed thou saiest true, for Coggin is a kinsman to Dissimu-(lation.
But tell me haue you taken the names of the guestes?

Sp403Cog.
Yea sir.

Sp404Dissim.
Let me heare after what fashion.
 
The names of the guestes tolde
by Coggin.
 
Sp405Cog.
There is first and formost maister Forgery, and master Flattery
Maister Periurie, and maister Iniurie:
Maister Crueltie, and maister Pickerie, maister Bribery, and maister
Tretcherie:
Maister Wincke at wrong, and maister Headstrong, mistris priuy theft,
and maister deepe Deceit, maister Abhomination, and mistris Forni-
cation his wife, Fardinando false-waight, and Frissit false-measure
his wife.

Sp406Dissim.
Stay, Fornication & Frissit false-measure are often familiar
with my Lady Lucar, and one of them she accounts her friend:
Therefore they shall sit with the bride in the middest, and the men at
each ende:
Let me see, there are sixteene, euen as many as well neare is able
to dine in the sommer parlor at the playing table:
Beside my fellow Fraud, and you fellow Symonie,
But I shall haue a great misse of my fellow Usurie.

Sp407Sym.
Take no care for that, he came home yesterday euen no longer,
His pardon was quickly begged, and that by a Courtyer.
And sirra, since he came he had like to haue slaine good neighborhood and
liberalitie,
Had not true frendship stept betwene them verie sodainly:
But sirra, he hit true frendship such a blow on the eare,
That he keepes out of all mens sight, for shame or for feare.
E2 Not
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie.
Sp408Dissim.
Now of my troth it is a prettie iest, hath he made true friend-
ship hide his head?
Sure if it be so, good neighborhood and liberalitie for feare are fled.

Sp409Sym.
But fellow Dissimulation tel me, what Priest shall marry ye?

Sp410Dissim.
Mary that shall an old frend of mine M.Master Doctor Hipocrisie.

Sp411Sym.
Why will you not haue sir Peter Pleasman to supply that want?

Sp412Dissim.
Indeed sir Peter is a good Priest, but Doctor Hipocrisie is
most auncient.
But coossen Coggin, I pray you go to inuite the gesse,
And tell them that they need not disturbe their quietnes:
Desire them to come at dinner time, and it shall suffise,
Because I know they will be loth so early to rise.
But at any hand will Doctor Hipocrisie,
That he meet vs at the Church very early:
For I would not haue all the world to wonder at our match.
It is an olde prouerbe, tis good hauing a hatch before the doore, but ile
haue a doore before the hatch.

Sp413Cog.
Sir, I will about it as fast as I can hie,
Ile first to that scalde bald knaue Doctor Hipocrisie,

Exit Coggin.
Sp414Sym.
But fellow Dissimulation, how darest thou marry with Loue,
bearing no loue at all?
For thou doest nothing but dissemble, then thy loue must needs be
small.
Thou canst not loue but from the teeth forward,
Sure the wife that marries thee shall highly be prefard.

Sp415Dissim.
Tush tush, you are a mery man, I warrant I know what I do
And can yeeld a good reason for it I may say vnto you.
What and if the world should chaunge, and runne all on her side?
Then might I by her meanes still in good credite abide.
Thou knowest Loue is auncient, and liues peaceably without any
strife.
Then sure the people will thinke well of me because she is my wife.

Sp416Sym.
Trust me thou art as craftie to haue an eye to the maine chance,
As the taylor that out of seuen yards stole one and a halfe of durance.
He serued at that time the deuil in the likenesse of S.Saint Katherine.
Such Taylors will thriue, that out of a dublet and a paire of hose can
steale their wife an Aporne.
The Dublet sleeue three fingers were too short,
The Uenetians came nothing neare the knee.

Sp417Dissim.
Then for to make them long inough I pray thee what did
hee?

Sp418Sym.
Two peeces set an handfull broad to lengthen them withall.
Yet for all that below the knee by no meanes they could fall.
He seeing that, desired the partie to buy as much to make another paire,
The partie did, yet for all that he stole a quarter there.

Sp419Dissim.
Now sure I can him thanke, he could his occupation:
My
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp420
My fellow Fraud would laugh to heare one drest of such a fashion.
But fellow Symonie, I thanke you hartily for comparing the Taylor
to me,
As who should say his knauerie and my pollicy did agree.

Sp421Sym.
Not so, but I was the willinger to tell thee, because I know it
to be a true tale,
And to see how Artificers do extoll Fraud, by whom they beare their
sale.
But come let vs walke, and talke no more of this,
Your pollicie was very good, and so no doubt was his.

Exeunt.  
Enter Mercadorus reading a letter to himselfe, and
let Gerontus the Iew follow him,and
speake as followeth.
 
Sp422Geron.
Seneor Mercadore, why do you not pay me? thinke you I
will be mockt in this sort?
This is three times you haue flowted me, it seemes you make thereat
a sport.
Truly pay me my money and that euen now presently,
Or by mightie Mahomet I sweare, I will forthwith arrest yee.

Sp423Merca.
Ha pray a beare wit me tree or foure daies, me haue mush bu-
sinesse in hand.
Me be troubled wit letters you see heere dat comes from England.

Sp424Geron.
Tush this is not my matter, I haue nothing therewith to do,
Pay me my money or ile make you, before to your lodging you go.
I haue officers stand watching for you, so that you cannot passe by,
Therefore you were best to pay me, or else in prison you shall lie.

Sp425Merca.
Arrest me dou skal knaue, mary do if dou dare,
Me will not pay de one penny, arrest me, doo, me do not care,
Me will be a Turke, me came hedar for dat cause,
Darefore me care not for de so mush as two strawes.

Sp426Geron.
This is but your wordes, because you would defeat me,
I cannot thinke you will forsake your faith so lightly.
But seeing you driue me to doubt, ile trie your honestie:
Therefore be sure of this, ile go about it presently.
(exit.
Sp427Merca.
Mary farewell and be hangd, sitten scal drunken Iew,
I warrant ye me shall be able very vell to pay you.
My Ladie Lucar haue sent me heere dis letter,
Praying me to coossen de Iew for loue a her.
Darefore mele go to get a some Turks apparell,
Dat me may coossen da Iew, and end dis quarrel.
(Exit.  
Enter three Beggers, that is to say, Tom Beggar, Wily
Will, and Simplicitie singing.
E3 The
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie
The Song.
Sp428
To the wedding, to the wedding, to the wedding go we,
To the wedding a begging, a begging all three  
Tom Beggar shall braue it, and wily Will too,
Simplicitie shall knaue it where euer we go:
With lustily Brauado, take care that care will,
To catch it, and snatch it, we haue the braue skill.  
Our fingers are lime-twigges, and Barbars we be,
To catch sheetes from hedges most pleasant to see:
Then to the Alewife roundly we set them to sale,
And spend the money merily vpon her good ale.
 
To the wedding, to the wedding, to the wedding go we,
To the wedding a begging, a begging all three.
 
Sp429Tom.
Now truly my maisters,of all occupations vnder the sun, beg-
ging is the best,
For when a man is wearie, then may he lay him downe to rest.
Tell me, is it not a Lords life in sommer to lowse one vnder a hedge,
And then leauing that game, may go clepe and coll his Madge?
Or els may walke to take the wholesome ayre abroad for his delight,
Where he may tumble on the grasse, haue sweet smels, and see manie a
pretie sight.
Why, an Emperour for all his wealth can haue but his pleasure,
And surely I would not loose my charter of libertie, for all the kinges
treasure.

Sp430Will.
Shall I tell thee Tom Beggar, by the faith of a Gentleman,
this auncient freedome I would not forgo,
If I might haue whole mynes of money at my will to bestow.
Then a mans mind should be troubled to keepe that he had,
And you know it were not for me. it would make my valiant mind mad.
For now we neither pay Church money, subsidies, fifteens, scot nor lot,
All the payings we pay, is to pay the good ale pot.

Sp431Simp.
But fellow beggers you coossen me, & take away al the best meat.
And leaue me nothing but browne bread, or sinne of fish to eat.
When you be at the alehouse, you drinke vp the strong ale, and giue me
small beare:
You tell me tis better than the strong, to make me sing cleare.
Indeed you know with my singing I get twise as much as ye,
But and you serue me so you shall sing your selues, and beg alone for me.

Sp432Tom.
We stand prating heere, come let vs go to the gate,
Mas I am greatly afraid we are come somewhat too late,
Good gentle M.Master Porter, your reward do bestow,
On a poore lame man, that hath but a paire of legges to go.

Sp433Will.
For Gods sake good mas Porter, giue somewhat to the blind,
that
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp434
that the way to the Alehouse in his sleepe cannot find.

Sp435Tom.
For the good Lords sake take compassion on the poore.

Enter Fraud with a basket of meat on his arme.
Sp436Fraud.
How now sirs, you are vengeance hastie, can ye not tarrie?
But stand bauling so at my Ladies doore.
Heere take it amongst you, yet twere a good almesse deed to giue you
nothing,
Because you were so hastie and kept such a calling.

Sp437Tom.
I beseech ye not so sir, for we are verie hungrie,
that made vs so earnest, but we are sorie we troubled ye.

Sp438Simp.
Looke how greedie they be, like dogs that fall a snatching.
You shall see that I shal haue the greatest almes, because I said nothing
Fraud knowes me, therefore hele be my friend I am sure of that:
they haue nothing but leane beefe, ye shall see I shall haue a peece thats
fatte.
Maister Fraud you haue forgot me, pray ye let me haue my share,

Sp439Fraud.
Faith all is gone, thou comst too late, thou seest al is giuen there
By the faith of a Gentleman I haue it not, I would I were able to
giue thee more.

Sp440Simp.
O sir, I saw your armes hang out at a stable dore.

Sp441Fraud.
Indeed my armes are at the Painters, belike he hung them out (to dry
I pray thee tell me what they were, if thou canst them descrie.

Sp442Sim.
Mary there was neuer a scutchin, but there was 2 trees rampant
And then ouer them lay a sower tree parsant,
With a man like you in a greene field pendant,
Hauing a hempten halter about his necke, with a knot vnder the left
eare, because you are a yonger brother.
Then sir, there stands on each hand holding vp by the crease.
A worthie Ostlers hand in a dish of grease:
Besides all this, on the helmet stands the hangmans hand.
Readie to turne the Ladder whereon your picture did stand:
Then vnder the helmet hung tables like chaines, and for what they are
I cannot deuise.
Except it be to make you hang fast, that the crowes might picke out
your eyes.

Sp443Fraud.
What a swad is this? I had beene better to haue sent him to
the backe dore,
to haue gotten some almes amongst the rest of the poore.
Thou pratst thou canst not tell what, or els art not well in thy wit,
I am sure my armes are not blazd so farre abread as yet.

Sp444Simp.
O yes sir, your armes were knowne a great while ago,
For your elder brother Deceit did giue those armes too,
Mary the difference is all, which is the knot vnder the left eare.
the Painter saies when he is hangd, you may put out the knot without
feare.
I am sure they were your armes, for there was written in Romane
letters round about the hempten collar,
E4 Giuen
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp445
Giuen by the worthie valiant Captaine maister Fraud the Ostlar.
Now God be with ye sir, ile get me euen close to the backe dore.
Farewell Tom begger, and wily Will, ile beg with you no more.

Exit.
Sp446Tom.
O farewell Simplicitie, we are very loth to lose thy companie.

Sp447Fraud.
Now he is gone giue eare to me. You seeme to be sound men in
euery ioint and lim,
And can ye liue in this sort to go vp and downe the country a begging?
O base minds I trow, I had rather hacke it out by the high way side,
Than such miserie and penurie still to abide.
Sirs, if you will be rulde by me, and do what I shall say,
Ile bring ye where we shall haue a notable fine pray.
It is so sirs, that a merchant, one Mercadorus, is comming from Turky
And it is my Ladies pleasure that he robbed should be,
She hath sworne that we shall be all sharers alike,
And vpon that willed me some such companions as you be to seeke.

Sp448Tom
O worthy Captaine Fraud, you haue wonne my noble hart:
you shall see how manfully I can play my part.
And heres wily Will, as good a fellow as your heart can wish,
To go a fishing with a cranke through a window, or to set lime twigges
to catch a pan, pot, or dish.

Sp449Will.
He saies true for I tell you I am one that will not giue backe,
Not for a double shot out of a blacke Iacke.
O sir, you bring vs a bed when ye talke of this geare,
Come, shall we go worthy Captaine? I long till we be there.

Sp450Fraud.
I, let vs about it, to prouide our weapons ready,
And when the time serues, I my selfe will conduct yee.

Sp451Tom
O valiantly spoken, come wily Will, two pots of ale wele bestow
On our Captaine couragiously for a parting blow.
Exeunt,  
Enter the Iudge of Turkie, with Gerontus
and Mercadorus.
 
Sp452Iudge.
Sir Gerontus, because you are the plaintife, you first your mind shall say,
Declare the cause you did arrest this merchant yesterday.

Sp453Geron.
Then learned Iudge attend: this Mercadorus, whome you
see in place,
Did borrow two thousand duckats of me, but for a fiue weeks space.
Then sir, before the day came, by his flatterie he obtained one thousand
more,
And promist me at two monthes ende I should receiue my store:
But before the time expired, he was closely fled away,
So that I neuer heard of him, at least this two yeeres day,
till at the last I met with him, and did the money did demand,
Who sware to me at fiue daies end he would pay me out of hand.
The fiue daies came, and three daies more, then one day he requested:
I
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp454
I perceiuing that he flowted me, haue got him thus arrested:
And now he comes in Turkish weedes to defeat me of my monie,
But I trow he will not forsake his faith, I deeme he hath more honestie.

Sp455Iudge.
Sir Gerontus you knowe, if any man forsake his faith, King,
country, and become a Mahomet.
All debts are paide, tis the law of our Realme, and you may not gaine-
say it.

Sp456Geron.
Most true (reuerend iudge) we may not, nor I will not against
our Lawes grudge.

Sp457Iudge.
Senior Mercadorus is this true that Gerontus doth tell?

Sp458Merca.
My Lord iudge, de matter, and circumstance be true me know (well.
But me will be a Turke, and for dat cause me came here.

Sp459Iudge.
Then it is but a folly to make many words. Senior Mercado-
rus
draw neere.
Lay your hand on this booke, and say after me.

Sp460Merca.
With a good will my Lord iudge, me be all readie.

Sp461Geron.
Not for any deuotion, but for Lucars sake of my monie.

Sp462Iudge.
Say I Mercadorus doo vtterly renounce before all the world,
my duety to my Prince, my honour to my parents, and my good will to
my country.

Sp463Merca.
Furthermore I protest and sweare to be true to this countrie
during life, and thereupon I forsake my Christian faith.

Sp464Geron.
Stay there most puissant iudge.Senior mercadorus, consider
what you doo,
Pay me the principall, as for the interest, I forgiue it you:
And yet the interest is allowed amongst you Christians , as well as in
Turky
Therefore respect your faith, and do not seeme to deceiue me.

Sp465Merca.
No point da interest, no point da principall.

Sp466Geron.
Then pay me the one halfe, if you will not pay me all.

Sp467Merca.
No point da halfe, no point denere, me will be a Turke I say,
me be weary of my Christs religion, and for dat me come away.

Sp468Geron.
Well seeing it is so, I would be loth to heare the people say, it
was long of me
Thou forsakest thy faith, wherefore I forgiue thee franke and free:
Protesting before the iudge; and all the worlde, neuer to demaund peny
nor halfepeny.

Sp469Merca.
O sir Gerontus, me take a your proffer, and tanke you most
hartily.

Sp470Iudge.
But seneor mercadorus, I trow ye wil be a Turke for all this.

Sp471Merca.
Seneor no, not for all da gold in da world, me forsake a my Christ.

Sp472Iudge.
Why then it is as sir Gerontus said, you did more for the gree-
dines of the mony,
Then for any zeale or good will you bare to Turky.

Sp473Merca.
Oh sir, you make a great offence,
You must not iudge a my conscience.

Sp474Iudge.
One may iudge and speake truth, as appeares by this,
F Iewes
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp475
Iewes seeke to excell in Christianitie, & Christians in Iewishnes.
(Exit.
Sp476Mer.
Well vell, but me tanke you sir Gerontus wit all my very hart.

Sp477Geron.
Much good may it do you sir, I repent it not for my part.
But yet I would not haue this bolden you to serue another so,
Seeke to pay & keep day with men so a good name on you wil go.
(Exit.
Sp478Merca.
You say vel sir, it dus me good dat me haue coossend de Iew,
Faith I would my Lady Lucar de whole matter now knew.
Vat is dat me will not do for her sweet sake,
But now me will prouide my iourney toward England to take.
Me be a Turke, no, it will make my Lady Lucar to smile,
When she knowes how me did da scal Iew beguile.
Exit.  
Enter Lucar, and Loue, with a vizard behinde.  
Sp479Luc.
Mistrisse Loue, I maruell not a little what coy conceit is crept
into your head,
that you seeme so sad and sorrowfull since the time you first did wed,
tell me sweet wench what thou aylest, and if I can ease thy griefe,
I will be prest to pleasure thee in yeelding of reliefe.
Sure thou makest me for to thinke somewhat hath chaunst amisse,
I pray thee tell me what thou aylest, and what the matter is.

Sp480Loue.
My griefe alas I shame to show, because my bad intent
Hath brought on me a iust reward, and eke a strange euent.
Shall I be counted Loue, nay rather lasciuious Lust,
Because vnto Dissimulation I did repose such trust?
But now I mone too late, and blush my hap to tell,
My head in monstrous sort alas, doth more and more still swell,

Sp481Luc.
Is your head then swolne good mistris Loue, I pray you let mee
see.
Of truth it is behold a face that seemes to smile on me:
It is faire and well fauored, with a countenance smooth and good,
Wonder is the worst, to see two faces in a hood.
Come lets go, wele find some sports to spurne away such toyes,

Sp482Loue.
Were it not for Lucar, sure Loue had lost her ioyes.
(Exeunt.  
Enter Seruiceable Diligence the Constable, and Simplicitie
with an Officer to whip him, or two if you can.
 
Sp483Simp.
Why, but must I be whipt maister Constable indeed?
you may saue your labour, for I haue no need.

Sp484Dili.
I must needs see thee punished, there is no remedie,
Except thou wilt confesse, and tell me,
Where thy fellowes are become that did the robberie.

Sp485Simp.
Indeed maister Constable, I do not know of their stealing,
For I did not see them since we went togither a begging:
Therefore pray ye sir be miserable to me, and let me goe,
For I labour to get my liuing with begging you know,
Dili
of the three Ladies of London.
Sp486Dili.
Thou wast seene in their companie a little before the deed was done.
therefore it is most likely thou knowest where they are become.

Sp487Simp.
Why maister Constable, if a sheepe go among wolues all day,
Shall the sheepe be blamd if they steale any thing away?

Sp488Dili.
Yea mary shall he, for it is a great presumption,
that keeping them companie, he is of like profession.
But dispatch sirs, strip him, and whip him:
Stand not to reason the question.

Sp489Simp.
Indeed twas Fraud so it was, it was not I.
And here he comes himselfe, aske him if I lie.
 
Enter Fraud.  
Sp490Dili.
What saiest thou villaine? I would aduise thee hold thy toong.
I know him to be a wealthie man, and a Burgesse of the towne.
Sir, and it please your mastership, heres one slaunders you with felonie
He saith you were the chiefe doer of a robberie.

Sp491Fraud.
What saies the rascall? but you know,
It standeth not with my credite to braule:
But good maister Constable for his slaunderous report,
Pay him double, and in as great a matter commaund me you shall.

Exit.
Sp492Simp.
M.Master Constable, must the countnance carry out the knaue,
Why then if one will face folks out, some fine repariment he must haue.

Bedle put off his clothes.
Sp493Bedle.
Come sir iacke sauce: make quick dispatch at once,
You shall see how finely we will fetch the skin from your bones.

Sp494Simp.
Nay but tell me be you both right handed or no?

Sp495Bedle.
What is that to thee, why wouldst thou so faine know?

Sp496Simp.
Mary if you should both be right handed, the one would hinder
the other,
then it would not be done finely according to order:
For if you whip me not with credite it is not worth a pinne,
therefore I pray you M.Master Constable, let me be whipt on the skinne.

Sp497Dili.
Whereon dost thou thinke they would whip thee I pray thee de-(clare?
that thou puttest vs in minde, and takest so great care.

Sp498Simp.
I was afraid you would haue worne out my clothes with whip-
ping,
then afterward I should go naked a begging.

Sp499Bedle.
Haue no doubt of that, we will fauour thy clothes,
Thou shalt iudge that thy selfe, by feeling the blowes.

Lead him once or twise about whipping him, and so exit.  
Enter Iudge Nemo, the Clarke of the Size, the Crier, and
Seruiceable Diligence, the Iudge and Clarke
being set, the Crier shal sound thrise.
F2 Iudge
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Sp500Iudge.
Seruiseable Diligence, bring hither such prisoners as are in
your custodie.

Sp501Dili.
My diligence shall be applied very willinglie.
Pleaseth it you, there are but three prisoners so farre as I know,
Which are Lucar and Conscience, with a deformed creature much like
Bifrons the base daughter of Iuno.

Sp502Iudge.
Nor where is that wretch Dissimulation?

Sp503Dili.
He hath transformed himselfe after a strange fashion.

Sp504Iudge.
Fraude: where is he become?

Sp505Dili.
He was seene in the streets walking in a Citizens gowne.

Sp506Iudge.
What is become of Usurie?

Sp507Dili.
He was seene at the Exchange very lately.

Sp508Iudge.
Tell me, when you heard of Simony?

Sp509Dili.
He was seene this day walking in Paules, hauing conference &
very great familiaritie with some of the Cleargie.

Sp510Iudge.
Fetch Lucar and Conscience to the Barre.

Sp511Dili.
Behold worthy iudge, here readie they are.

Enter Lucar and Conscience.
Sp512Iudge.
Stand forth: Diligence deuide them a sunder.

Sp513Clarke.
Lucar, thou art indited by the name of Lucar,
To haue committed adulterie with mercadorus the merchant, and Cre-
ticus the Lawier.
Thou art also indited for the robberie of mercadore.
Lastly, and chieflie, for the consenting to the murder of Hospitalitie.
What saiest thou, art thou guiltie or not in these causes?

Sp514Luc.
Not guiltie, where are mine accusers, they may shame to shewe
their faces?
I warrant you none comes, nor dare to discredit my name:
In despite of the teeth of them that dare: I speake in disdaine.

Sp515Iudge.
Impudent, canst thou denie deedes so manifestly knowne.

Sp516Luc.
In deniall stands triall: I shame not, let them be showne,
It grinds my gall, they should slaunder me on this sort:
they are some olde cankered currish corrupt Carles that gaue mee this (report.
My soule craues reuenge on such my sacred foes,
And reuengement I will haue, if bodie and soule I lose.

Sp517Iudge.
Thy hatefull heart declares thy wicked life,
In the abundance of thy abhomination all euils are rife:
But what saiest thou Conscience to thy accusation
that art accused to haue beene bawde vnto Lucar; and spotted with all
abhomination.

Sp518Con.
What should I say, nay what would I say in this our naughtie
liuing.

Sp519Lucar.
Good Conscience if thou loue me say nothing.

Sp520Clarke.
Diligence, suffer her not to stand prating.

Let him put her aside.
Sp521Iudge.
What letter is that in thy bosome Conscience? Diligence reach
it hither. Make as though ye read it.
Conscience
of the three Ladies of London.

Conscience speake on, let me heare what thou canst say,
For I know in singlenes thou wilt a truth bewray.

Sp522Con.
My good Lord I haue no way to excuse my selfe,
She hath corrupted me by flattery, and her accursed pelfe:
What neede further triall, sith I Conscience am a thousand witnesses,
I cannot choose but condemne vs all in liuing amisse.
Such terror doth affright me, that liuing, I wish to die:
I am afraid there is no sparke left for me of Gods mercie.

Sp523Iudge.
Conscience where hadst thou this letter?

Sp524Con.
It was put into my bosome by Lucar:
Willing me to keepe secret our lasciuious liuing,
I cannot but condemne vs all in this thing.

Sp525Iudge.
How now mallepart stand you still in defence or no?
This letter declares thy guiltie Conscience, how saiest thou is it not so?
Tell me, why standest thou in a maze? speake quicklie:
Hadst thou thy tongue so liberall, and now stand to studie?

Sp526Lucar.
O Conscience thou hast kild me, by thee I am ouerthrowne.

Sp527Iudge.
It is happie that by Conscience thy abhomination is knowne,
Wherefore I pronounce iudgement against thee on this wise:
Thou shalt passe to the place of darknesse, where thou shalt heare feare-
full cries.
Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, and torment without end,
Burning in the lake of fire and brimstone because thou canst not amend:
Wherefore Diligence conuey her hence, throw her downe to the lowest
hell,
Where the infernall sprites and damned ghosts do dwell.
And bring forth Loue. Exit Lucar and Diligence.  
Let Lucar make ready for Loue quickly, and come with Diligence.
Declare the cause Conscience at large, how thou commest so spotted,
Whereby many by thee hath beene greatly infected:
For vnder the colour of Conscience thou deceiuedst manie,
Causing them to defile the temple of God, which is mans bodie:
A cleane conscience is a sacrifice: Gods owne resting place,
Why wast thou then corrupted so, and spotted on thy face?

Sp528Con.
When Hospitalitie had his throate cut by Usurie,
He oppressed me with crueltie, and brought me to beggerie:
Turning me out of house and home, and in the end,
my gowne to paie my rent, to him I did send:
So driuen to that extremitie, I haue fallen to that you see,
Yet after iudgement I hope of Gods mercie.

Sp529Iudge.
O Conscience, shall cankered quoin corrupt thy heart?
Or shall want in this world cause thee to feele euerlasting smart?
O Conscience what a small time thou hast on earth to liue,
why doest thou not then, to God all honor giue?
Considering the time is euerlasting that thou shalt liue in blisse,
If by thy life thou rise from death, to iudgement mercie, and forgiuenes.
F3 Enter
A pithie and pleasant Comoedie
Enter Loue with Diligence.
Sp530
Stand aside Conscience, bring Loue to the barre.
What saiest thou to thy deformitie, who was the cause?

Sp531Loue.
Ladie Lucar.

Sp532Iudge.
Did Lucar choke thee so, that thou gauest thy selfe ouer to lust?
And did prodigall expences cause thee in Dissimulation to trust?
Thou wast pure Loue, and art thou become a monster,
Bolstring thy selfe vpon the lasciuiousnes of Lucar?
Loue answere for thy selfe, speake in thy defence.

Sp533Loue.
I cannot chuse but yeeld, confounded by Conscience.

Sp534Iudge.
Then iudgement I pronounce on thee, because thou followed
Lucar,
Whereby thou hast solde thy soule to feele like torment with her,
Which torments comprehended are in the worme of Conscience,
Who raging still, shall nere haue end, a plague for thine offence,
Care shall be thy comfort, and sorrow shall thy life sustaine,
thou shalt be dying, yet neuer dead, but pining still in endlesse paine.
Diligence, conuey her to Lucar, let that be her reward,
Because vnto her cankered coyne she gaue her whole regard.
But as for Conscience, carrie her to prison,
there to remaine vntill the day of generall session:
Thus we make an end,
knowing that the best of vs all may amend:
UUhich God graunt to his good will and pleasure,
That we be not corrupted with the vnsatiate desire of vanishing earthly
treasure:
For Couetousnesse is the cause of wresting mans Conscience,
Therefore restraine thy lust, and thou shalt shun the offence.
 
FINIS. Paule Bucke.

Prosopography

Abby Flight

Remediator and encoder, 2024–present. Abby Flight completed her BA in English at the University of Victoria in 2024, and is now an MA student focusing on Medieval and Early Modern Studies.

Chantelle Thauvette

Chantelle Thauvette (Three Ladies of London1592 Q2 text) completed her PhD in English and Cultural Studies, 2013, at McMaster, with a Doctoral Diploma in Gender Studies and Feminist Research. She has published a book chapter in Magic, Marriage, and Midwifery: Eroticism in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance (Turnhout: Brepols, 2014), and articles in SEL: Studies in English Literature, The Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies, The Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies, and has presented papers at interdisciplinary early modern conferences including the Renaissance Society of America, the Canadian Society for Renaissance Studies, Shakespeare Association of America, and the Society for the Study of Early Modern Women. She can be contacted at cthauvette@siena.edu.

Erin Julian

Erin Julian (Three Ladies of London, performance) completed her SSHRC-funded dissertation (Laughing Matters: Sexual Violence in Jacobean and Caroline Comedy) in English and Cultural Studies in 2014 at McMaster. She currently holds a SSHRC Postdoctoral Fellowship at Western University (Rape Under Erasure in Early/Modern Shakespeare). Her recent publications include Review Essay: New Directions in Jonson Criticism for Early Theatre 17.1 (2014) and (co-authored with Helen Ostovich) Pedagogical and Web Resources in Julian and Ostovich (eds), The Alchemist: A Critical Reader(Bloomsbury, 2013). She is also co-editor of The Dutch Courtesan for the Complete Works of John Marston (OUP, forthcoming) and editor of the website associated with the performance of the play in March 2019. Her essay on performance, Our hurtless mirth: What’s Funny about The Dutch Courtesan? appears in Early Theatre 23.1 (2000), the special issue on Marston’s play. She can be contacted at ejulian@uwo.ca.

Helen Ostovich

Helen Ostovich, professor emerita of English at McMaster University, is the founder and general editor of Queen’s Men Editions. She is a general editor of The Revels Plays (Manchester University Press); Series Editor of Studies in Performance and Early Modern Drama (Ashgate, now Routledge), and series co-editor of Late Tudor and Stuart Drama (MIP); play-editor of several works by Ben Jonson, in Four Comedies: Ben Jonson (1997); Every Man Out of his Humour (Revels 2001); and The Magnetic Lady (Cambridge 2012). She has also edited the Norton Shakespeare 3 The Merry Wives of Windsor Q1602 and F1623 (2015); The Late Lancashire Witches and A Jovial Crew for Richard Brome Online, revised for a 4-volume set from OUP 2021; The Ball, for the Oxford Complete Works of James Shirley (2021); The Merry Wives of Windsor for Internet Shakespeare Editions, and The Dutch Courtesan (with Erin Julian) for the Complete Works of John Marston, OUP 2022. She has published many articles and book chapters on Jonson, Shakespeare, and others, and several book collections, most recently Magical Transformations of the Early Modern English Stage with Lisa Hopkins (2014), and the equivalent to book website, Performance as Research in Early English Theatre Studies: The Three Ladies of London in Context containing scripts, glossary, almost fifty conference papers edited and updated to essays; video; link to Queen’s Mens Ediitons and YouTube: http://threeladiesoflondon.mcmaster.ca/contexts/index.htm, 2015. Recently, she was guest editor of Strangers and Aliens in London ca 1605, Special Issue on Marston, Early Theatre 23.1 (June 2020). She can be contacted at ostovich@mcmaster.ca.

Janelle Jenstad

Janelle Jenstad is a Professor of English at the University of Victoria, Director of The Map of Early Modern London, and Director of Linked Early Modern Drama Online. With Jennifer Roberts-Smith and Mark Beatrice Kaethler, she co-edited Shakespeare’s Language in Digital Media: Old Words, New Tools (Routledge). She has edited John Stow’s A Survey of London (1598 text) for MoEML and is currently editing The Merchant of Venice (with Stephen Wittek) and Heywood’s 2 If You Know Not Me You Know Nobody for DRE. Her articles have appeared in Digital Humanities Quarterly, Elizabethan Theatre, Early Modern Literary Studies, Shakespeare Bulletin, Renaissance and Reformation, and The Journal of Medieval and Early Modern Studies. She contributed chapters to Approaches to Teaching Othello (MLA); Teaching Early Modern Literature from the Archives (MLA); Institutional Culture in Early Modern England (Brill); Shakespeare, Language, and the Stage (Arden); Performing Maternity in Early Modern England (Ashgate); New Directions in the Geohumanities (Routledge); Early Modern Studies and the Digital Turn (Iter); Placing Names: Enriching and Integrating Gazetteers (Indiana); Making Things and Drawing Boundaries (Minnesota); Rethinking Shakespeare Source Study: Audiences, Authors, and Digital Technologies (Routledge); and Civic Performance: Pageantry and Entertainments in Early Modern London (Routledge). For more details, see janellejenstad.com.

Jessica Dell

Jessica Dell (Three Ladies of London, Q1 1584) defended her doctoral dissertation, Vanishing Acts: Absence, Gender, and Magic in Early Modern Drama, 1558–1642, in September 2014 at McMaster University. In 2016, she became a full-time instructor at Aurora College (NWT) in the Bachelor of Education program which partners with the University of Saskatchewan and the Indian Teacher Education Program (ITEP). Recent publications include A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean!: Image Magic and Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor in Magical Transformations on the Early Modern English Stage (2014) and, with David Klausner and Helen Ostovich, co-edited The Chester Cycle in Context, 1555–1575: Religion, Drama, and the Impact of Change (2012). She can be contacted at Jdell@auroracollege.nt.ca.

Kate LeBere

Project Manager, 2020–2021. Assistant Project Manager, 2019–2020. Textual Remediator and Encoder, 2019–2021. Kate LeBere completed her BA (Hons.) in History and English at the University of Victoria in 2020. During her degree she published papers in The Corvette (2018), The Albatross (2019), and PLVS VLTRA (2020) and presented at the English Undergraduate Conference (2019), Qualicum History Conference (2020), and the Digital Humanities Summer Institute’s Project Management in the Humanities Conference (2021). While her primary research focus was sixteenth and seventeenth century England, she completed her honours thesis on Soviet ballet during the Russian Cultural Revolution. She is currently a student at the University of British Columbia’s iSchool, working on her masters in library and information science.

Navarra Houldin

Training and Documentation Lead 2025–present. LEMDO project manager 2022–2025. Textual remediator 2021–present. Navarra Houldin (they/them) completed their BA with a major in history and minor in Spanish at the University of Victoria in 2022. Their primary research was on gender and sexuality in early modern Europe and Latin America. They are continuing their education through an MA program in Gender and Social Justice Studies at the University of Alberta where they will specialize in Digital Humanities.

Peter Cockett

Peter Cockett is an associate professor in the Theatre and Film Studies at McMaster University. He is the general editor (performance), and technical co-ordinating editor of Queen’s Men Editions. He was the stage director for the Shakespeare and the Queen’s Men project (SQM), directing King Leir, The Famous Victories of Henry V, and Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (2006) and he is the performance editor for our editions of those plays. The process behind those productions is documented in depth on his website Performing the Queen’s Men. Also featured on this site are his PAR productions of Clyomon and Clamydes (2009) and Three Ladies of London (2014). For the PLS, the University of Toronto’s Medieval and Renaissance Players, he has directed the Digby Mary Magdalene (2003) and the double bill of George Peele’s The Old Wives Tale and the Chester Antichrist (2004). He also directed An Experiment in Elizabethan Comedy (2005) for the SQM project and Inside Out: The Persistence of Allegory (2008) in collaboration with Alan Dessen. Peter is a professional actor and director with numerous stage and screen credits. He can be contacted at cockett@mcmaster.ca.

Robert Wilson

Actor with the Queen’s Men. See Robert Wilson (d. 1600).

Sofia Spiteri

Sofia Spiteri is currently completing her Bachelor of Arts in History at the University of Victoria. During the summer of 2023, she had the opportunity to work with LEMDO as a recipient of the Valerie Kuehne Undergraduate Research Award (VKURA). Her work with LEMDO primarily includes semi-diplomatic transcriptions for The Winter’s Tale and Mucedorus.

Tracey El Hajj

Junior Programmer 2019–2020. Research Associate 2020–2021. Tracey received her PhD from the Department of English at the University of Victoria in the field of Science and Technology Studies. Her research focuses on the algorhythmics of networked communications. She was a 2019–2020 President’s Fellow in Research-Enriched Teaching at UVic, where she taught an advanced course on Artificial Intelligence and Everyday Life. Tracey was also a member of the Map of Early Modern London team, between 2018 and 2021. Between 2020 and 2021, she was a fellow in residence at the Praxis Studio for Comparative Media Studies, where she investigated the relationships between artificial intelligence, creativity, health, and justice. As of July 2021, Tracey has moved into the alt-ac world for a term position, while also teaching in the English Department at the University of Victoria.

Orgography

LEMDO Team (LEMD1)

The LEMDO Team is based at the University of Victoria and normally comprises the project director, the lead developer, project manager, junior developers(s), remediators, encoders, and remediating editors.

Queen’s Men Editions (QME1)

The Queen’s Men Editions anthology is led by Helen Ostovich, General Editor; Peter Cockett, General Editor (Performance); and Andrew Griffin, General Editor (Text).

University of Victoria (UVIC1)

https://www.uvic.ca/

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